"This
is a familiar scene for me;
You,
with your eyes on the road,
and myself,
watching the sights
as we pass them by.
There
are so many things
that I
want to ask of you,
so many questions
to be answered,
and yet,
there is a quiet
between us,
that which we also share;
the familiar sound
of silence;
the sound
of all the things
you didn’t say.”

you made a mockery of the only thing I had

you took the essence of me and laughed at it

I didn't want to be this way
I try very hard to be strong

I think to myself how I am crazy
I didn't ask to be born with a messed up mind

I live on a roller coaster in my head
and sometimes it breaks and can't go back up

I am sorry I am this way

I don't know how to be okay again and I hurt so much my brain flirts with the concept of suicide

I could never hurt my family and friends in such a way
but my heart is terrified of my chemically imbalanced brain

I am trying my best

you are my suicide note
my last dying wish
and my last will
of hope

Day two
Without you.
A million miles apart
But under the same stars.
I am sleeping alone in this river I've cried.
The nights are so long when you're empty inside.
Are you thinking of me?

This is how I realized I'm over you.

I do not miss you anymore.
My soul that used to seek warmth
from your curt, unfeeling replies
now burn with an unwavering flame
fueled by the love I have for myself.
The eyes that used to hold galaxies and hidden universes
are now miles of sand,
a desert in nighttime.
Cold, dangerous, unforgiving.
A warning to stay away
or I will be lost forever.
That smile that makes your face
the brightest thing in the world--
my world--
reminds me of forgotten promises and an empty future.
I do not want any of that.
I do not need any of that.

But I do not hate you.
I hated the nagging silence,
the growing distance,
the poor excuses.
I hated that we fell apart.
But I never hated you.
I never could.
You were my escape
and my time with you had been filled
with fluttering butterflies, days of sunlight, and endless wonders.
For that, I'm thankful.

I'm over you.