It's become nothing but words
Hollowed hangings dangling from my teeth
Hurt and hateful
Confused and fateful
For the light from my computer isn't enough to see the room
I am alive only by the heartbeat of another
And I only believe through fear anymore.
That's how we were raised.
It can only love if you only fear
And I'm afraid we were mislead
Instead I hope to see light
Flashing fanatically and frantically to tell me to follow
Because the light from my computer is just enough to blind me from the world
And I need something.
Anything.

Pulling apart from the chest
Fingers heart deep tugging to break
The ribbing that holds us spinning
Screaming, shouting, devouring devout
Lashings, gnawing, gnashing
Blood and bones
Rebuilding broken blocks
Uplifting blind eyes to a light unseen
I am chained, happily, in a cave
Philandering with philosophy
We'll never know
Why we were tossed to see
Snatching flesh from limbs
Unable to clasp hold
I am unadulterated rage
Dead tree limbs reaching to a fire ball
Losing to a cold blue sphere
Hold true, fear
For fear not
I hear not
And I'm trudging towards the trenches

I've been rewound to return
Remind me why I relearn
The same lessons
And they pass so vividly
Into invisibility
Invincibility found in your love
Makes me feel so dumb
Because in the end it's all pointless
And everything points to this
I'm realigned, I'm redrawn
I'm called into play a pawn
In a cosmic game of chess
When I aspire to be a king
It's easy when you've found your queen
But I feel like I'm letting her down
When I'm not even on the board
I'm the clown, the jester
Silently playing the professor
Trying to teach the crowd who's the real leader
But I just become the world eater
A made up monster
A mountain to stir
A man to burn in a blur
With anger from where he came from
I just want to give her everything

I believe in nothing.
Fancified notions of self portraits grand
Starlined thoughts with no legs to stand
Wayward wishes well wished yet not won
And not one sign or storied slip has been sung.
Oh, yes, I believe in nothing.
An echo-less hall where I rehearse repeatings
A long waited applause watching with wonder
And beautiful eyes returning tears that happily fall.
I believe in nothing.
Because inside us all there happens to be nothing
Words said with divine cadence cast skyward
They happen to be nothing
And the childlike hope that can sometimes be felt in a heartbeat
It, too, is nothing.
I believe in nothing.
Words can be labels only by the meaning you give them.
Faith is a beautiful nothing.
And I, I believe in a beautiful nothing.

Tumbling fingers dance uneasy nerves away
Quick glances wondering if anything is wrong
A lifetime of regrets fill the bags beneath her eyes
If only I could tell her none of it mattered