Some days I miss you so much that I can hear all the murmurs of the people I've crossed in my life telling me to give up.
  I used to carry you with me wherever I went with the backpack you always used to use, but the other week the zipper broke and all the memories I had of you came spilling out. One by one they slipped through my fingers and I realized how easily someone could leave you with nothing.
  Materialistic objects aren't everything and I know that how much You meant to me isn't measured by the number of things I have left of you. Sometimes I just want to hold something that belonged to you and be able to channel your spirit for a moment.
  You left on a Wednesday and every Wednesday since has reminded that you can miss someone just as much as you can love them. I wish I would've loved you more when you were still here.
  Every smile I receive is a sign that maybe you're still trying to make me happy. When I walk to school I see the Same man jogging with a giant smile overtaking his face. The other day he ran past me, looked me directly in the eyes and said I hope you have a good day, with a smile that I swore I could see your face in. I think I found a little of you that day.
  I've begun to accept that I can't carry you around all the time but what I can do is sit you on the top of my tongue so that whenever I speak, a little bit of you is still put out into the world.
  Silence and solitude is my reverie but I know I need to put myself out in the world in order to get Anything back, You taught me that.

Because I had loved you before I was thirteen
Because I had loved you throughout my teen
You stole my virginity: you deflowered me
Surely, I have composed and quieted my soul;
Now, I am like a baby about to be weaned

Because I have loved you so much
Because love can make us do and say crazy things.
Now it’s  impossible to love another.
Because I am the dark angel with heart shaped wings

It's like you never left,
the way the air still smells
of that cheap dollar store cologne
and of stale Marlboros and whiskey.

Your phantom hands ran through my hair
and ghostly lips sunk into my neck
and I could not help to think I heard you say
"oh honey, oh, how I've missed you."

But all the while my eyes were closed
I hadn't realized something:
that the window lay cracked wide open
and the wind blew out the candle flame.

I laid on his chest knowing it was the day.
I breathed deeply trying to cope
As he rubbed my back when he felt a tear hit his neck
I closed my eyes and held tighter
Wanting to take him everywhere
Red eyed and runny nosed
I was so sadly in love.