I'm no William Shakespeare
Or Edgar Allan Poe
I'm just the average
Insane guy who's in love

I'm no Vincent van Gogh
Or Leonardo de Vinci
I'm just the guy
Who's art keeps him somewhat sane

I'm no one special
Or going to be
But I'm the guy
With a heart made just for her

Every word in every poem
I've ever written about love
Was just for her
And some were dark I know

Every line in every drawing
I've ever drawn with her name
Was a memory for her
Because I know I'll fade and die

Just one day
All I dream of
Is to be able to call her mine
To hold her and love her

I would give anything
To kiss her
To say I love her
And share this love with her

But everything I want to do
Every memory I want to create
I can only make
With a pencil and a piece of paper

I will never have a chance
To really create those moments
Or indulge in her beauty
I just have to look at it from a distance

I'm the guy
No one knows about
Or even bothers to know
I'm the one fading and dying alone

I told the world this before
I'm a no body
My poetry can't define me
Because usually it's not me I'm writing about

I wanna tell you I love you
But with the age difference and distance
It's harder than you think
I want to be your knight in shining armor
I want to hold you from dusk to dawn
Watch the sun kiss you good morning
And listen to the lullaby of the moon
Lure you to sleep
I want to be there when you awake
To taste your lips
To feel you closer to me
I want to hear you laugh
When I say good morning in my stupid little way
"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey
Biscuits and sausage gravy
Now WAKE THE **** UP
And enjoy the day"
I want to tell you I love you
I want you to have my heart
I know you will make better use of it
Than I had with it in 17 years
It's easy to smile when I talk to you
I can't describe in any metaphor
Or complex simile how you make me feel
I trust you
I love you
I wish you could understand
How hard it is for me to do that
But I know what I want because of you
I want to make you happy
I want to love you
Like no other person on Earth
Could even begin to imagine
How to love you that much
I'm a little drunk
So before I say your name
I'll end this with three words
I Love You ;)

The opposite of love is indifference
So when I tell you I hate you
I still care about you
I just have no room to love you anymore
Because all I have done was get hurt by you
So this is my way of saying
Goodbye

Love me
Hate me
Do whatever you want with me
I'm apart of your life
I'm the shadow you can't walk over
I'm the whispers on the wind
Telling you to end it
Love me
Hate me
Do whatever you want with me
I'm apart of your life
Get used to the torment
I'm not leaving anytime soon
Love me
Hate me
Do whatever you want with me
Because I simply love you
And don't plan on stopping
Anytime soon

These tears fall like aerial bombs
Cascading the mountain side of the innocence
This blood flows like great rivers
Eroding the riverbanks with currents of undeniable force

They say it's a sin to commit ******
But in the text of today's society
It's classified as suicide
So will I still reach the pearly white gates of heaven
Or will I be cast down the endless inferno pits of hell
To burn in my acidic rivers of tear polluted blood
I was just a kid
How was I suppose to know
You weren't suppose to think about your life
Without the possibility of ruining another's
I was just a kid
Trying to cope with the pain
How was I suppose to know
You weren't suppose to contemplate ******
Without getting thrown into a dark emptiness between white walls
Losing yourself in the shadows
Of desolate corners
Where your only best friend
Was the guard with a needle
With your daily dose of happy juice
**** it
I can't take the disregarding of my misery
I can't relish in this pain any longer
So for the sake of all humanity
And the preservation of time
I will plunge knives of greedy points
Deep into the wrist
Home to dying veins
And humm the rhythm
Of the Undertaker's Graveyard Song

Jokes on you
I told you to hold tight
Onto this love I offered you
But you abandoned it
One month into it
Jokes on you
I'm not giving you a second chance
I will not give anyone a second chance
So I'm laughing at you
Because you're on your knees
Begging me for another chance
Sorry :)
I'm engaged
I'm not ******* this up
Because she accepts me for me
And hasn't given up on me

I wonder if you really love me
Or if your using me to have someone
To love you to no end
I can't tak this anymore
I'm wasting my time
Pulling my hair out
Worrying if you're ok
If I'm the person you fell for
Or the ghost you can play with
I'm sorry but it's over
I'm done wasting time
I need to focus on true friends
I was never anything to you
So today you become nothing to me

Kiss me goodnight
Riddle me the love you have
This affectionate rhythm can't be played
Unless two hearts play like bass drums
In an orchestra of violins
I'm not asking your forgiveness
Like Christians at the alter feet of God
I'm asking for eternal damnation
Forever condemnation
Simply because I'm losing my grip
On what is a not a reality but a dream
And that's where I found peace

How many tears can a wrist cry?
How many scars do I have to open
Just to be heard
How many things do I have to give up
Just to stop watching the war consume us all
They say the only way to shine your light is in the dark
Mine has been shining for too long
I'm letting the vessels sink
I'm no longer the safe haven
The Lighthouse that kept them safe
I'll always be the rocks wading in the water
Waiting for their precious hull
To crash against my edges
Letting the tide
The hungry waves drag them to the depths

She's screaming joyful laughter
While sinking her teeth into the tears
Of her new found toy
Playing cat and mouse
With his head
He's screaming agony
While he pounds his head
Wanting her to stop
But his heart tied her to him
So he just chases the love and the thoughts
Out with a single bullet

I don't know what to do
What to write
My mind is just a blur
Fog has rolled in
Stripping my vision
Leaving only silhouettes
Of ideas based on guesses
This fog needs to be lifted
To let the world see
My decayed and rotting flesh
Covering bones so fragile
For without a heart
I am no more alive
Than the corpses
Within 16th century graves

You found me in dark corners
Hiding from the world
Displaced by my hatred and anger
Coped with my pain
And slithered your way into my walls
You gave me a chance
Loved me when nobody else did
Held me when the world was ending
Dragged me out of the oceans
Of blood that came from my wrist
You were my lifeguard
Saved my drowning soul
You never gave up on me
Even when I did
But I gave up on you
Only because it seemed unreal
Happiness was the only thing
I tasted on your lips
Joy I found when I stared in your eyes
Love I heard when I listened to your voice
Life inches away from my ears
When I layed on your chest
But I couldn't believe it
I never felt this
And my biggest regret
Is pushing you away

She's calling my name
Louder and louder
Her cries become
I don't want to be found
I'm tired of facing my problems
I want to run and hide
But I'm only able to do one
She's reaching for me
I can feel the cold stillness on her fingertips
An icy wind blowing on my insides
I'm not ready for this
I'm still too young
Yet it feels so numb
I'm neither hot or cold
Sick or healthy
Rich or poor
I'm dead
What does it all matter
I'm finally free
From a world full of cliches

Lady Death
You walk beside me everyday
You make my hell
So much sweeter
I look forward
To walking with you in death
I'll never be truly alone
My wrist cut open
And at the end of this barrel
Lays my first class ticket
To join hands with you
And walk an eternity
Loving each others complete darkness

Slithering shadow
Why after all these many years
Do you still walk beside me
Why oh why
Are you the only
Who cares to listen
Slithering shadow
Always there when I need a friend
No name for me to call you
Yet here you have a face
I do not look for a voice in reply
I look for an ear
Willing to sit with
Here the story to my troubled times
Slithering shadow
Are you real
Or just another hallucination

Gasping for breath
After the love we expressed
You say you love me
On every breath
I pull you closer
Wrapping you in my arms
You lay your head on my chest
We lay here in the dark
And before the night is over
Before you fell asleep
I kissed you
Whispering "Its just a dream my love"
You drift away
Then realize it was
Or is this the dream
Instead of waking to my arms
You wake to an empty bed
Is this the dream
Have you fallen to deep
To the point
You can't tell reality from a fantasy
Just know my love
If I can't be there in reality
I'll be there even closer in your dreams

A whole is ripped in the sky
The earth begins to tremble
Silence is heard all around
Nothing moves
My own heartbeat echoes
For miles and miles
People dressed in white linen
Garments that of the greeks
Walk forward into view
On the edge of the whole
I feel something scratch at my feet
I look down and see
Corpses ****** and partially dismantled
A screech comes from them
But thier mouths never open
I look around
To see if thier is anyone else
But only a dark figure
No shape
Just there
Thin but noticeable
Then within a heartbeat
The world goes black
I feel like Im falling
I awake to a bed
Covers thrown every which way
Drenched in sweat
Breathing so heavy
Heart racing
Hoping the last words
I heard before I awoke
Were never going to come true
But I know
Part of it has come true
Because I have murdered
The hearts of those
Willing to love me
When loving me
Is **** near impoosible

You may have read
All my past work
You may have liked it
You may have hated it

Yet you  find yourself
Wanting to read it again
Because you felt the pain
I try to express

You yearn to know
If your alone or not
Well read this next line carefully
Your never alone as long as I breathe

You search my name
There in the corner
You click on all my work
And read it all day

Well I thank you for it
I know loneliness is a *****
You may think your the "you"
In all my poems

Well maybe you are
I dont need to know you
But you are my muse
And again thank you

This poem doesnt need a title
You are the poem yourself
You're the beauty in this world
You are the world to me

I held you close every night
Tried pulling you closer
But I could never
Get close enough to you

I kissed you
And kissed you some more
I whispered in your ear
Everything I wanted to tell you

I dont deserve you
I know I dont
I never did anything
To deserve something as extraordinary as you

I love you
I dont know why
I just do
And it feels right

Because when Im with you
I finally achieve happiness
I feel safe and at home
I know this is love

Still I dont deserve this
But I want to be loved
And have these feelings
So Im going to hold on

Staring into your eyes
Lost amongst the waves
Ocean of emotions pure
Searching for words
You can treasure
Wisdom from my exploits
Lessons I’d rather teach
Then taught alone
Yet I leave pages blank
Lines empty awaiting a thought
But if ever I leave you
Hold these words true
Your chapter starts and ends with you
So enjoy the little things
You’ll remember those moments
Far longer then any memory

Life's little rollercoaster
Full throttle
Short ride
Up
Down
Here we go
Can I ride another
Stuck on this loop
In circles I go
Somebody fix the tracks
Fired the maintenance crew
Can I bail out
It's been a suspenseful climb
Now dive down with me
No brakes
Stopping is overrated
Out of track
Do I keep going
Why not
Only way I'll learn to fly
When it's no longer
Up-down-left-right-around
Spam the buttons
Broken e-brake
Sad the last thing
I'll think about
Is why I never had a woman
Just to tell me
Riding an abandoned rollercoaster
Was a bad idea
Or restored it
Before I throttled it
Ha
Certifiable idiot

We interrupt this broadcast with breaking news....man dead after rollercoaster flew off tracks..more on this at 5

R.I.P.
Don't hold a memorial
Don't attend the funeral
Grab you a six pack
A pack of zigzags
Jar for the roach's
Bucket for the tears
Celebrate the moments
I was actually there
Grieve only for the notion
I became what I already was
A passing face
Dead before and after
I touched your tv heart

Use It as a swords not a shield
Let your voice be the sword, Don't hide behind your past

This is not a speech
But somebody use
At least one line from this
To show that you can learn
From mistakes hidden within your past

See today I hear people
Blame their past for who they are
What they do
And how the react
To certain situations within todays society

We are young yes I know
But why hold on to the past
When the past can make you or break you
So stop using your past as a shield
And forge a sword with it

Move head first into battle
Because even today we still fight
We fight for our beliefs
We fight for our rights
But we hide behind our past

Scarred to cast the first stone
But maybe that first stone
Could make us free from the prejudiced people
From snide crude unfair remarks
Presented by the most insecure people

I have felt the pain
Of things that happened
Over a hundred years ago
When Europeans set foot on this grand soil
And brought forth diseases

I may be young
But I have witnessed the rise
Of a weak society
Because they hide behind their past
Using it like a shield

This sword I possess
Commands not a legion of men
But a million legions of dreams
That have become the pinnacle of war
And I shall cast the first stone
Because I will carry on what my forefathers started

I will be the echo to their voice
I will strike down unfair prejudice people
Not with violence
But standing here on the battlefield alone or not
And demand freedom
So join in hands with me
And write WE ARE FREE in the heavens
Letting it echo on the wind even after we die

They say no matter
How crazy your mother becomes
You're suppose to love her all the same
Yet when your the victim
Intestines scattered across the floors
Testicles torn from your body
Deprived of manhood
You look at her and simply think
"I'm a victim to your insanity"
You contemplate the vengeance
Venture forth on a Vendetta
For the safety of huMANity
Because who knows how many
Nuts she will crack
She's the Nutcracker from a horror film
Many nut shells left in her wake
Unfortunately we are all victims
To somebody's insanity
Whether it be our own
Or our manhood depriving mother
In the end you still have to grow a pair
To survive any kind of insanity

I am allowing you to tell me what i should write about
It can be a life story
A love story
Your choice
However
There is a catch...
You must message me with #mychoice No. 1527B
The 1st, 5th, 10th, 15th, 20th senders will be chosen
You can send a message 1x per day
These people will be named and recieve a reply
We will discuss your choice of poem
You may help with the writing if you choose so
If you desire to help
Poem must be published on your site as well as mine
Hope to work with many more people
Looking forward to this experience
                                                             -Robert x_x

In your eyes
You saw only the laugh
The deranged pupils
So look deeper
The cracks that became abyssal
The glass cities left in ruins
By the hands of those
I reached out for
Corpses piled high
After every brush off
As each attempt
To hold onto my own
Fell through closed hands
Asking for help
Leaves you vulnerable
To someone else's evil
Becoming greater in hopes
Of surpassing that feeling
I'll be that villian
In your eyes
Her heart
His mind
At their discrepancy
I'll be my own hero
Saving myself
Without wasting another breath
Begging for your approval

I can resolve conflicts
With fist of pure rage
I can look you in the eyes
Whether I win or lose
And say I can respect you
I have violence in my veins
It flows like venom from a snake bite
Violence is the answer
When your intentions are not led astray

Between these sheets of satin love
Violence breaks cherries
Serenity found in screams and moans
Yeah babe this is a *** poem
About how I'm going to take from you
The last of your innocence
As you put my demonic instincts on a leash
There will be blood
As if Jack the Ripper
Found his way between your legs
The pierced silence quivers as lips curve back
Hiding under your teeth
Moans rupture as hair gets pulled
*** cheeks spanked leaving clues
As to whom it was that made you a ******
Begging, pleading, praying for more
As the width of my **** grows
Pushing harder onto your ***** walls
The gravity defying length of its throbbing prowess
Plunging ten thousand leagues into your soul
The violent serenity of our *** life
Becomes a perfect portrait
We paint every night with the stains
Our love produces onto bed spreads
Needing to be burned after such defilement

The drums beat
People screaming
Adrenaline rushing
"Throw Me Somethin Mista!!"
Beads, cups, candy
Raining goodies
Float after float
Drink after drink
A city where the party never ends
Voodoo blues growing bluer
Every mile I drive further away
Still feeling the spirit of New Orleans
Burning in my chest
The swamp trying to flow through
Archaic veins always yearning
A new thrill
Yet here the thrill never ceases
Trumpets, trombone, tuba, snare
A succession of bands
Mask, costumes, cheers, beers
Voodoo blues tempting my return

Leave your shoes in the car
Together we'll walk for hours
As you try to see
What is all wrong with me
You've asked me twice
Not even bothering to think thrice
What kind of man am I
Always wanting to die
Chasing butterflies that never existed
Thinking too long till my life twisted
This is who you see today
Going every which way
Just to find the heart
I thought I couldn't tear apart
But even tears leave tattoos
While loving someone seems taboo
Walk with me
Along side the salty sea
And realize that it's not us here
It's only me looking queer
Talking to myself like I'm insane
Calling out your name
Knowing all too well
Your going to see me to hell
I know your not around
But judging from what I found
Your walking with me
Even if its only one set of footprints
Going back to the peer

To pull you close
Then even closer
Lean in and wait
Gazing into your confusion
What's happening
So close
So warm
Tingles running races
Was it right
To make me fall in love with you

I used to wrestle
On my trampoline
I used to fly
On my swing set
I used to skateboard
In my driveway
I used to ride bmx
When I finished fixing the neighbors
I used to be an artist
When I was too bored to read a book
I wasnt always a poet
Just happened to die one

We look deep into each others eyes
Glance at our souls
The self satisfying reason
We decide to live to see tomorrow
Yet as a tear escapes your eye
I know we are not forever
We will soon end
You can't face the fact that I love you
You think I deserve better
Well think again
I don't deserve anything but a bullet in my brain
Chasing out the thoughts that keep me awake at night
Laying in an empty bed
For countless hours
Wishing you were with me
Even if we are not forever
My love for you will be
And no one shall ******* love
No one shall know my love
My heart will petrify
Turn to stone
Till you learn that you are all I want
The only one I want and I don't care who knows
But you know this poem is for you
Because I talk to you everyday
I text you early in the morning
I love you with a heart broken
But still made of gold
Because this heart is in your hands
If I have to cut it from my chest
We are not forever
Because we will die
Its our love that will be forever

weeping willow tears
heavy and warm
drowning herself
for the pain sge has watched

many years have passed
now a river flows
where the weeping willow stood
she lays at the bottom
still she cries

a heavy burden it is
as she watched young girls
fall victim to loves dangerous game
"No Mercy" love yelled
as the weeping willow began to cry

weeping willows tears
powerful and moving
drowning the village
with words unspoken

no more will the weeping willows tears fall
for she lays in peace
with love finally falling victim
to his own dangerous game
now peace is restored
to the weeping willows eyes

When words in a poem
Dont make sense
We rephrase it
We change the course of history
In just one simple line
That proves to be the most powerful
From crimson tears
We find a way
To turn our fears
Into ruby red roses
Life is such an evil thing
We live on the edge of insanity
We reach out for help
Grasp a poem
Written by someone you dont even know
Never even heard of him
But you read it
You read it again
And find the hope and help
You have been crying ages for
When we find this new hope
We say **** faith
We say **** destiny
We simply evolve

Crushing blows
Heavy lefts
2x4s to the face
Slandering my existence
Any response only fuel
To a raging inferno
I'm the insect caught
Between walls of red
Boiling my insides
Exoskeleton dissolving
Weighed down by the lack of oxygen
If you really felt that way
Why did you stay
I had no bearing on your life
My existence was only for the labor
My opinions a kiss on the wind
You simply ignored
My affection rejected
Was it wrong of me to hope for a better outcome
Thinking you'd see the potential
Our love was a joke
Comedy you entertained
Thank you for giving me sight
Realizing the toxicity of us
You'll always be a child
Tied to the apron strings
Never leaving room for anybody else
Now I feel the weight
Not from you no longer being mine
But from the lies you keep feeding
Blowing smoke into lungs already choking
You don't see it yet
Probably never will
But if you do
I'll pray you can forgive yourself
I never will
Weighed down by the longing
My daughter's smile missing
Her laughter the only faith
I had left in humanity
You robbed from me
I'll leave you well enough alone
Karma's a *****
Hope your ready for her wrath

Welcome to the hall of immortals
Always remembered even in death
You raised a warrior
You built bridges for me to cross

Now with me on my own path
Still an immortal you shall be
Forever your name shall live on
Forged in stone

Your my guiding angel
You provided me with knowledge
Now with your job done
I lay you down to sleep

Welcome to the hall of immortals
Buried six feet below
Still watching over me
Hopefully a man like you I will be

A million times I walked in your footsteps
still I cannot match
Half the man you were
I'm your legacy

You gave up everything for me
Now I will honor the name
That you gave me
Welcome to the hall of immortals

the hearts of men are cold and violent
so we turn to the hearts of women
their perfume assailing our nose
soft heartbeat like a choir of birds

no other woman can love me like you do
you nurse me when I'm sick
you love me when i'm losing
you never hate me

you helped me turn a corner
writing a new chapter
book number three
you'll always love me

you praise me when i'm calm
you stand in my way when i'm going crazy
i fall deeper in love
no regret for tearing my heart out

you give me no reason to hate
smile from ear to ear
gaining sanity i never had
i worship you like a goddess

the tears come freely
relief like no other
my heart was cold
making me blind

a heavy fog lifting
vision repaired
i see the world happy and smiling
welcoming the first sunrise

i love you with all my heart
never will i allow you to leave
marriage i ask
till death of our death shall we part

To loved ones young and old
To friends and family
We say farewell
In our own unique way
I'll tell you later
There's no doubt we'll meet again
In a life promised to us in books
Or maybe its just reassure you
You'll see me happier from afar
You say goodbye
You're never to sure
If you'll meet again
Probably getting it in
Because you had the chance
We say farewell
When all we want to do is say hello
A text a call even a poem
Hoping that you're reading
Not to sure
Because you're afraid to ask
Well guess what I'm not
I couldn't care less
We had our chance
Now emotions sit collecting dust
Waiting for another chance
To be offered off at auction
We say farewell
In petty fights
Over lame *******
That could have been prevented
We get ****** and storm off
Say ******* and have a nice life
Not knowing that tomorrow
The other could die
We say farewell
In so many ways
Well I said all my goodbyes
I got tired of telling you later
Because later apparently meant
Three years from now
When the lights in your heart turned back on
But its over
My life is no longer your concern
Never was from the start
But by all means
Continue lurking in the background
Keep posted on what's to come
We say farewell
But I have one more thing
To send you off with...

Its a war we wage with lips and tongues
Trying to always be the first to say hello
But you have to say goodbye
Somewhere in your life to say hello
I said goodbye to my addiction to cigarettes
You said goodbye to your feelings for her
He said goodbye to his life
Said hello to something better
Even if it was on the other side
We say goodbye to say hello
For every hello we say
Brings a smile to someone's face
Even if it hides under their skin

Shots of Jack
Your tiny alcoholic son
Grew up to tower over you
But through the *** beating we gave each other
The brawls that broke vacuums
Ruptured holes in doors and walls
Careless acts of rage
You still taught me how to grow up
A pillar of inspiration to never let my addictions
Control the outcome of who I am
59 years old and still able to keep up
I'd fight you today
But we got work tomorrow
I'd sing birthday songs as Christmas Carols
Yet these vocals carry tunes made for war
Not love and affection
So happy birthday pops
And thank you for sticking around
A little longer to guide me into the days
Where I can use my own two feet again
Walking at birth
To standing alone as a man
There couldn't be another dude
That I could call my Pops
I love ya
So don't die on me you old geezer

An empty home
A hollow threshold
A vacant hearth
A stepping stone
A missing person
I’m a father
That’s at least what I tell myself
Just to make it through the day
Friend to only the shadows
The realistic version of them
What am I to you
Another broken smile
A desolate soul
Lost to my own sanity
Barely grasping insanity
Another shadow crossing the floor
A whisper buried under bedrock
A catalyst of dark emotions
Crawling under a single layer
Of skin people thought were stone
The only thing saving me
Is too small to realize
Her existence is the fuel to mine
I wonder what I am to you
A doll to be toyed with
A guardian to hide behind
I wish I knew
So telling you I love you
Would be easier
I wouldn’t doubt the response
My voice carries no weight
Emotions in ICU
Waiting for you to care
Yet I’m barely a footnote
Have I let my hope for love
My desire to never be alone
Consume my faith as a man
I’ve always believed
Actions spoke louder then words
Every action you take
Pushes me to a different ledge
Threatening her happiness
I try to hold on
To memories yet not made
In hopes I’ll be able to make them
Yet this coffin I live in
Carved on every inch
“No” in repetition
How is my life suppose to measure up
When I’ve been smothered out
How can my death be beautiful
When I’ve never lived
What am I to you
What am I suppose to do
How do I do it
Without hurting the one I love
How do I leave her
Without missing a moment
Without leaving a scar
While still being able to say
I love you and mean it
How do I explain my life
How do I value it
Can I even call it worth anything
I’ve hurt many before
Regretted every moment
Begged for salvation
Prayed for answers
Whispered sweet nothings
To a cloaked figure
Yet all I ever find is more questions
Masked in more depression
So I ask again
What am I to you

It was your tears
That broke the chains
Rusted the bolts
That kept me bound to this misery
I envy the way you are free
I wish I could grasp
The reason why you hold on so tight
To my heart as you sleep

I drown myself
At the bottom of several bottles
Each with a different antidote
To keep the poisonous pain
That runs through my veins
Away from my eroded heart
Pausing the process of annihilation
To the remnants of its broken pieces

It was your kiss
That stopped my heart
Mended the cracks
That kept me from loving
I envy the way you are alive
I wish I could grasp
The reason why you hold tight
To my words as you read

I am not worthy of this
Do I make you happy?
Did I ever make you happy?
Then why, why did you leave?
Did you even love me?
Was I a game to you?
Why can’t I let you go?
Why can’t you let me go?

You say goodbye
We say farewell
Yet you can’t stay away
What do you see in me?
To weep tears of freedom for me
To kiss me with lips full of life
You were my everything
So what are we now

It was your glance
That stole my breath
Rendering me useless
I envy the way your eyes
Scream out for help
And radiate a vile sense of beauty
It’s everything about you
That makes me love you
Even when I shouldn't

Simple question right?
Wrong!
You have to have something
If not anything
Before you can say
Your thankful for it
What are you thankful for?
Me?
I'm only thankful for my poetry
And the many readers
Even those who understand
What I'm talking bout in my poetry

I hear your voice
I see you everywhere
I taste your lips
I feel your touch
I smell your perfume
Yet you are nowhere near
You left your mark on me
Im branded
Yours for all eternity
Yet you are not mine
What have you done to me
How can I taste, hear, smell, feel, see you
When your so many miles away
I love you
And whatever it is you did to me
Because it made me a better man

Was it the ability to put words on lines?
Was it the ability to perceive the worlds **** clearly?
Was it the ability to rhyme?
What made us poets?
What made us the dying breed
Of well recognized literary professionals?
What the hell happened to the days of comedy
Perhaps a simple tragedy?
It seems love has grasped out hands
Forced us to write cliches
Not looking at the bigger picture

Nobody knows what made us poets

We weren't born this way
I'm nothing like Lady Gaga
What happened to us
That made us put pen or pencil to paper
And pour our emotions out
Trusting the world with our deepest secrets
Allowing them to peek behind closed doors
Allowing them a first hand look
At the scars that paper cuts gave us
What made us poets?
What made us all so insane
We are no longer classified as insane
But completely ******
For abilities almost unnatural

Silent when I need answers
Vocal only when I want solitude
You can't make up your mind
Which foot race it is
You wish to finish
So you run them all
Watching you change
As all your vibrant colors
Showcase themselves
Valiantly on display
What made you
Seem to find comfort
In the echoing caverns
Of uncharted brain cells
What made you
My greatest friend
All the while
My overwhelming enemy
What made you
Hate me as much as we do
The only thing we agree on
This torturous weight
Seven pounds accumulates
After carrying for so long
With weakening muscles
Once a valued trophy
Now bubblegum
Annoyingly attached to soles
Trampled on till recognized
Then discarded with everyday trash
What made you
Have a voice of an angel
Hiding behind 90 years
Of smokers cough
It's not so much
What it is you whisper
It's the calming of the wisdom
Behind each scream
That terrifies me to no end
So I run
Thinking if I do the opposite
I'll be free from myself
Even for a minute
Yet you knew already
It's in your design
To display what could be
While leading me
To what should be
No matter if it is
Exactly how I wish it would be
What made you
The way you are
Perfectly made for me

Is it his chiseled chest
Bulging biceps
His ability to run
His playful eyes
The way his chin grows hair
The way he laughs
His age perhaps
What makes a man
Is it his job
The way he makes money
His heart
The way he loves
Is it his inability to let you go
The way he makes you feel
What makes a man
When you learn his past
Maybe you’ll see the connection
That defining moment
That labeled him a man
I’ll await an answer
Because sometimes
I still feel like a scared little boy

Your beautiful brown eyes
Lay vacant six feet below
Where I now stand
I still remember that day
As if it just happened today
Your phone still holding my number
My phone on my bedroom floor
I stole my mothers car
Just to drive the six miles we were apart
You must of planned it perfectly
Your wrist already slit
I heard the gunshot
As I rushed into the house
Your bedroom door locked
I yelled "I'm coming"
Knowing I couldn't save you
I held you for an hour
Before the cops arrived
I felt your body go cold
The life leaving your fingertips
Yet through it all
Not one tear fell
I hate myself because of that
I loved you
You were the only perfect thing
Now here you are
Statue limbs growing colder
Eyes no longer brown
But white eggs rolling
Into the back of your head
What possessed you?
Was it the heartbreak of your former lover
That ****** bag didn't even come
To you tear parade funeral
Was it the loss of your father
And watching your mother
Fall into a deep depressed syringe of ******
Was it the lack of attention
I could barely give you
Due to my own familial problems
If I wouldn't trade places with you
I was stronger than you
But I can't take it anymore
I visited your grave last year
Last time I saw you
Last words I whispered in your dead ear
"I'll join you later, I'll live for you"
I upheld my promise
What possessed you?
To **** yourself
And waste the years we shared
I hope you're happy now
I wish I could of saved you

Depression antagonizing anxiety
Questioning my position
Too far from Heaven
God can't reach me
Too lost in the dark
The devil can't find me
Hopes for happiness
An irrelevant fantasy
Dreams of love
Become phantasmal
Yet the yearning for the warmth
An addictive pain
Overly satisfying desire
Am I worth it
I know I'm not worth
The lead in the chamber
The price of the rope
The bleach or the shovel
Or the memory of a sidewalk stain
Not worth the sway of second hands
Or the hands I want to hold
I've become nothing
Worth nothing
Scrounging for attention and success
Hoping someone would see in me
What I can't see in myself
Growing ever so deeply in hatred
Towards myself
Knowing the tendencies I have
The habits I've formed
Trying to protect myself
From a world dead set
On destroying me
Only to realize it succeeded
In more ways
Than what I was prepared for
Questioning myself every hour
What am I worth
When all I have is the love
Of a little girl
Barely knowing who I am
Eating at myself
For allowing it to be like this
Knowing nothing I could have done
Would have stopped this from happening
In just another form it would have taken
What am I worth
Someone please tell me
Give me a straight answer
Show me I'm not wandering
Aimlessly into an abyss
Recklessly living just for nothing
Something has to add up
When will the things I desire in life
Come to fruition
Without having to struggle
To fight not only the world
But myself included

I dont know
Never really did
The pain, the stress
The hunger for the truth
Blinded me from knowing
Whats wrong with me

I say I hate
I say Im angry
But thats my escape route
To keep me from realizing
That deep down inside
Im really hurt

Could this be
Whats wrong with me
Could it be
That im not looking hard enough
Not truly searching for
What all could be my problems

Like a pillars foundation
I have flaws
Some easily fixed
Others more complicated
But I still dont know
Whats wrong with me

Could it be
That I was never loved
By the one person
Who gave me my breath
Or cared enough
To say goodbye when she left

Whats wrong with me
I cant love
Without questioning it
But when Im with you
I still doubt it
But not so much

When I say those words
It pains me
Because I never felt this way
And Im scared
That I wont be able
To protect you from even more pain

Whats wrong with me
All I do is push and push
Never letting people close
Ending up alone
Without anyone to turn to
Yet I still manage to live

Every second is unknown
Every breath is questionable
Yet I still dont know
Whats wrong with me
That even your smile
Still makes me feel even more alone

I know that maybe knowing
Whats wrong with me
Is far from my reach
But I will know in the end
Since I have more time
I will spend it knowing I will succeed

Look me in the eye
Tell me you love me
Tell me you will help me
To discover exactly
Whats wrong with me
Tell me I'll never be alone

My mother abandoned me
She was the first
Just not the last
So dont abandon me
When I need you even more
At this time of despair

I've been hurt by those
Who were suppose to love me
And those I thought I loved
But the emotions are real with you
So please don hurt me now
Hurt me when I've learned more

I know I may say
"I'll never hurt you"
But I know that at times
We hurt those we dont want to
So until I've learned
Whats wrong with me, support me

Hold me close to your eart
Build me up when I fold
Dry my tears when they come
I only have this one life
And half of it will be spent
Figuring out whats wrong with me

So maybe if the truth
To all her lies
Comes and meets my ears
Maybe then I can know
Whats wrong with me
And hopefully you'll be at my side

**** it I love you
Maybe I really dont care
Whats wrong with me
As long as I have you
It doesnt matter
The past is the past I have to let it go

But the pain will remain
The anger and the hatred toward her
It's who I am
I just cant let it ruin me
Or determine my future
The future I wish for you to be apart of

Maybe I've known
Whats wrong with me
I just never accepted it
So the truth
To whats wrong with me
Is that I bottle my emotions

No that cant be right
Maybe there is more than one thing
That is wrong with me
So I wont rest till I know
Every inch of my heart
And why is it that Im confused

Syptoms to my disorder
Confusion, extreme anger, pure hatred,
Boredom, tiredness, and love for you
So I got a broken heart
And you fixed some of it
But it dont tell me nything

Another day, another month
Maybe even another year
And I still wont know
Whats wrong with me
So in the end
I might as well give up on knowing

The truth to who I am
What I am
Why I am the way I am
Why I think morbid things
Will never truly ne mine
So Im just another John Doe

Whats wrong with me
I've never been optimistic
I can barely love you
Without thinking
Your going to wake up
And realize you deserve better