If you're wondering what the Diary Of Broken Souls is, It's just a bunch of stories put together to try and have somebody know there is other people that go through the same stuff or somewhat similar things. Now not every story ends in suicide, and the reason it ends that way in these stories is to leave the victim wondering what exactly it is they will miss out in life, through all the bad times, the good times, and even holding hands with somebody that understands (even if that hand is an inanimate object). Everything holds value to somebody and you shouldn't let it go. The Diary Of Broken Souls simply put is a fictitious compilation of stories based somewhat on real life people even if I don't know them, I know how they feel somehow. I guess its just talent or maybe a guess but it hits some people dead on the nail. Just know suicide is a last resort for no good reason I know I tried.

Just yesterday we were laughing
You were smiling
Happily in my arms
As we told each other
How deep we were in love

What the hell happened
To those days
Because it all felt like yesterday
But this morning
The world crumbled
Under a single breath

What the hell happened
To wanting an us
To knowing and understanding
The pain we have
And miserable past we had
But just for another day
I would like those days back

The only question
Echoing in my head
I guess I'll never know
Because I never acknowledged
What I had before

Even this cold heart
Wishes to cry
My mind just keeps reeling
Hoping to find out
What the hell have I done

I let you slip
Right through my closed fingers
But I knew it was meant to happen
The faint image
Was meant to disappear

My hatred for love
Clouded how I really felt
To the one person
That understood everything about me
What the hell have I done

You got away from me
Like a jackrabbit at midnight
I just wont find another
You were all I wanted
I just wanted you to be happy

I thought not once
When I decided
That you were better off
Without me in your sights
But know sorrow I can't drown

It's overwhelming me
I can't sleep it away
It has a mind all its own
What the hell have I done
You're just another ghost

I curse myself now
For being so stupid
Yet I know
Deep down
You really are better off

These walls are closing in
Telling me how stupid I am
For not trying just a little harder
What the hell have I done
Is all I can think about

I let you vanish
Into unknown land
But I'll see you soon
Someday, maybe one day
We'll cross paths again

But it's not enough
I know it's not
I can really say it now
But it's too late
Goodbye and farewell

What the hell have I done
My tongue keeps getting twisted
My eyes are vacant
My chest a hollow shell
Of what once was

I lucked out
But better yet I lost out
I'm a mess
You're not the monster
I am

What the hell have I done
**** it all to hell
I'll dine with the devil
I'll sell my soul a million times
Yet I'll still never know

I'm just a being
That deserves to die
If I say those words
I was afraid to say before
Maybe they will clear the list

No use is it now huh
You're already with him
I really lost you forever
But that wasn't the last poem
You have for me and you know it

You want to curse me
You want to break me further
I'll tell you this now
Go for it
And maybe then I will know
What the hell I have done

My body decays
Even more rapidly
My sanity
Lost at birth
Lost again when you wrote those words

We're not done
You know we're not
Those eastern winds
Will blow again
And bring your cries to me

What the hell have I done
Please tell me the answer
But you wont
You'll let me go mad
I'm just not worth it

Yoy killed my
Not the metaphor
But literally killed me
When You said
''My last poem to you''

Ha-ha it's funny
Because I thought
You already wrote it
What the hell have I done
By letting you go

I watched it all
My sweet painful torture
Shame you'll never read this
It's just another goodbye poem
That I wrote drunkenly to you

Here are the words
Read them close
The meaning is infinite
But they are true
I LOVE YOU!

Who gives a rats ***
If you prefer a **** in your ***
Or your **** rubbing against another
When did sexuality matter
I've seen the red of their veins
Pour out just as quickly as mine
I've watched as they understood love
Fat better than I could ever hope to achieve
Yet she can't marry her
Or he can't be seen with him
Holding hands an kissing
Hell I'll hug a gay man quicker than my brother
I'll flirt with a lesbian
Even though we both know
I'm going nowhere
It was never about who they dated
Who they decided to fall in love with
The only thing that mattered to me
An will ever matter
Is how they can show me what love is
What holding someone important to them
Really looks like
What everybody else thinks
Is just a matter of opinion
I don't give a ****
I can call a gay guy queer
I can call a lesbian a ****
And they'll smile with pride
They know who they are
What they are
And we're the aliens in the community
Thinking we know everything
When dd sexuality matter
I'll smoke a blunt with my gay homie
Drink tequila with my lesbian friend
Flirt with them both
Simply because I'm the one
Who's going home alone
I love them
Not because their gay
But because they can make me laugh
A hell of a lot better than my straight friends
Sexuality shouldn't matter
Personality is what gets me

I want to feel myself get younger
I want to laugh and play with hot wheels
Make siren noises while riding shotgun
Sit in a car seat and laugh in your face
When I grow up I want to be a kid
Kindly reliving my adolescencE
Smoking **** by the ounce
When I grow up I want to be a stoner
More ****** than I already am
Tripping in and out of reality
Thinking I'm the ****
Hat to the side like a g
Big baller chains
Just acting stupid for the age of 50
When I grow up I don't want to forget
All the good times I've had
While making greater moments to never forget
When I grow up I hope you'll see
I'm still the same old me
Wishing you could have seen
How high on life we could've been together

It'll be too late for words
Every and any action
Will fall short of useful
You won't get to know me
See the size of my heart
In subtle actions
With no real benefit
Besides a smile
I don't know how I'll do it
Let alone when
I just know it will happen
When I **** myself
Don't think anything of it
No moment of silence
A prayer whispered
Allow me to be that person
That you never knew
Passed by once or twice
You gave no notice to
Even when he held the door
When I go
You'll be on my mind
Either chased out by lead
Perhaps deprived of oxygen
Even surgically removed
Scalpel never scarring
Everything certainly deleted
With all the viruses
No reboot or reinstallation
When I **** myself
I'll have nothing to say
No note
No apology
No real deadline
I'll be a name
Stamped on stone
Engraved in paper
Beside two dates
No one will ever remember
I'll die just like I lived
Alone praying
I'll find the strength
To hope tomorrow is better
When I **** myself
Leave me to the wind
I'll kiss your cheek
When you need fresh air
I'll be the motion of nature
Waving tree limbs
Just so you're mind can escape
When I **** myself
I'll be there for you
Still trying for a smile
When I **** myself
I'll be taking the parts of me
I gave each of you
When I **** myself
You might realize
I know how little I meant
So if you still want an explanation
I'm just making room
For someone else to grow

I'll say I'm sorry
I'll walk slowly
Just to wait and see
If you'll stop me on the way out
Those bags I brought
I left at the front door of your heart
Because I knew it wouldn't last
I know you'll cry three tears and move on
I need you to know
I love you
When I leave
Don't stop me
Because as soon as I cross the threshold
I'm falling off cliffs
Tumbling through barbed-wire
Finally stopping when I hit
The bottom of my six foot deep grave
When I leave
Just let me go
We both knew it wasn't going to last
Not as long as we planned
When I leave
Cry three tsunami tears
I want to drown in your pain
The pain I'm sure to cause
If the first one don't **** me the second one will
The third is just to drown my soul
Bury it under the crashing weight
Of what you will go through
When I leave
Write books about how you want me dead
And most of all
When I leave
Leave without me
I'm just the broken reflection
To your brand new mirror

Will you be ready
Would you be present
Did I matter to you
What was my value
Was I just another hole in your pants
Or a stitch to your seams
When the day comes
What would you do
If I was no longer here

I'll be then thousand miles away
Drowning at the bottom of of the sea
The very one you hate me to dive into
Leaving bottles on the shorelines
Of your driveway
When you remember me
I'll just be a face without a name
A man once crawling into bed with you
Calling your name sweeter
With every breath you stole from me
By the time you remember me
I'll be so lost in my own life
I'll have forgotten
How gorgeous your body was
How every day was my birthday
When you said goodmorning
How christmas was every time I called
I sounded like a kid begging to tear open
The first present he saw
It was always you
When you remember me
Youll see that we were meant to be
That forever was worth living
While in each others arms
But you left me to run off with him
And I just heard
He cheated on you with his own step Mother

Friends only wanting gas money
Girls wanting to exact revenge
Thinking I'm a nice guy
Kind hearted easy to fool
Where are they all at now?
Gone when ice covers my chest
Wallet fingerprinted and dusted
Wondering what bill stole my money
Girls come and go
I'm tired of trying
Friends are supposed to be there
Whenever you need them
But vanish when you no longer have
What they need
Everyone I thought was my family
Everyone I thought could except
That I'm more in touch
With the feelings I despise
Would be there forever
Vanished quicker than ice in boiling water
Where are they all at
My world ending
I need support
Instead I get rejection
Maybe oneday when I vanish
They'll see the value of my smile
The worth of my stupid jokes
The reason why I try so hard
To keep you all smiling
Even when I have nothing to smile for
Where are they all at
Turns into where did Robert go

I can't be that drunk
I'm walking in circles
Chasing shadows in the fog
Cold asphalt nipping at numb toes
Where are you!?
**** it answer me
But who's to answer
When it's nobody I'm looking for
She's gone and so are you
Just shadows in the fog of my abyssal heart
Numbness spreading like a virus
From toes to mouth
No longer able to walk
Just mumbling mumbo jumbo
What the **** happened to me
I used to be a human
Capable of writing every emotion I felt
Acknowledged those of others
Now I'm getting drunk
Playing hide and go seek with imaginary shadows in the fog
This isnt me
This isn't you
It's like an echo
I no longer know if its mocking me
Or just agreeing with it
One step closer
Maybe I'll find a face I recognize here
Sirens blare
Noise complaint
I'm resisting arrest
Screaming you have to find it
Puzzled faces plastered on the officers
Flashlights and barks
They think I'm talking about you
They think you're still alive
We both know where you are
I'm just too drunk to recall
If I was the murderer or the victim
Did I sacrifice you to be a god
Was it me I fed to those heathens
Where are you!?
When I need you most
When you're all that I want
When everything is falling apart
You could help me hold up a dam
I don't need to be flooded by these emotions
I'm scared I'll never wake
Just lost to the endlessness of it all
It's too much for me to take it
Where are you!?
It's getting dark
Please hurry
This fog is too thick
I'm sorry
I failed you
As the cops haul me away
I know I'll never find you
I'll never know where you went
But at least I got to see the outline of what you used to be

Yesterday I was home
Eating cereal
No cares
No worries
Watching an airplane
Mix like playdough
With concrete and ignite terror
Yesterday I was picking out a puppy
Little and adorable
Smallest of the bunch
Sparky became his name
Fighting so hard to scale
Two flights of stairs
To our parents room
Yesterday I was opening his present
Surprise it's for me
A guitar saying from him
Yesterday I got in my first fight
Had my first kiss
My first girlfriend
In my first grade
Yesterday I was somewhere else
Doing something I'll remember again
All these memories
Precious as can be
My personal scrapbook
Everything I've done
Failures to victories
Watching my dad cry
As he became overjoyed with pride
When I got third place
In my first pig show
Yesterday I watched my daughter be born
Felt the weight of a human heart
Swell in my desolate chest
Yesterday I met all my friends
Yesterday I got married
Yesterday I was there
Today I'm here
Reminiscing on all those years
Watching a comic on speed pages
Every action a picture
Put in motion
And at the end
Just me with a peace sign and a pen
Drawing the next few pages
Till I think about this again
How time flies and I wasn't even aware
How quick it slipped by

whispering...
                  calling...
Reaching out for me
What am I to do
Arms of death gripped corpses
Attaching themselves to every limb
Trying to drag me
To the darkest pits of the unknown

whispering...
                  calling...
Pulling on my flesh
Tearing me to pieces
As I try to reject the conclusion
That these hollow point glares
Are drilling into my body
But the pain is numbed

whispering...
                  calling...
I don't want to reply
For if I do I accept defeat
And let this cancerous nuisance
Plunge me into my own insanity
Of cannibalistic voices
Crawling on the walls like shadow phantoms

whispering...
                  calling...
I'm dead
No point in denying it
I'm a nobody
Who will remember me
These joker grins around me
Knew my fate long before I did
Because they were pushing me off
The edge of life's lonely cliff
Into swarming piranha infested darkness

They are screams from years of pain
They are cries from the helpless
They are whispers on the wind
That only a poet can hear
Because we write what we hear
We write what we feel
And we feel your dying whispers on the wind
So reach out to me
Reach out to the pen and paper
We hold out to you
Become a poet
Let the whisper on the winds
Echo in words
That you write
Be proud of your pain
Your hunger for suicide
Your thirst for freedom
Let those whispers be silence
Let them be heard
Silence the screams
All the cries for help
End it before it goes to far
Hear the whisper on the wind
And save someones life
Save them from their own pain

Masculine
Towering frame of intimidation
Outside demeanor
Conquering and indestructible
If only you knew
The inner frailty
Weak beams years if deterioration
Corrosion on blood line plumbing
I'm a man in outward appearance
An infant craving cradling
Buried beneath the rubble
I'm an optical illusion
So I keep my doors locked
Windows boarded
I may look like a paradise
Only to prove to be
Alcatraz to the heart of a monster
Intent on self destruction

why do people like me
why do they act like thier my friends
is it due to my poetry
is it my hatred towards life
is it the fact that i hide my emotions

why does life flourish
why is peace seekable
is it due to a lost adventure
is it due to the fact that we hide the truth
is it the love for humnity

why do people question me
why do the act like im important
is it due to the fact that im a failure
is because i speak my mind
is it the philosophies i acknowledge

answer these questions
somebody please
tell me lies or the truth
it doesnt matter cause im losing the grip on life
love doesnt matter to me

koti thank you for the comments
kevan thanks for the advice
all poets of time
thank you for being my inspiration
but time has it flaws
and people have thier end
my lost sanity
brought on this poem

Nightmares everyday
Lined with hands reach for my throat
Shady smiles trustworthy at the least
Cerulean eyes turned ruby eyes
Corrupted with the loss of blood
From scars gaping
Black hole hearts wanting my insanity
Why can't I be sane?
Don't I deserve that?
No I don't
Because what doesn't **** you
Makes you stronger
What a load of cliche
I can't be sane
I wouldn't be me
Mystery Girl said it herself
Honestly I don't like being me
Does Walmart, Office Depot, the Mall
Sell lives at a low price?

You act as if I'm not scared
Only explanation I gave myself
Was that you met someone better
Someone closer
I grew so paranoid
Loved ones didn't know who I was
Why couldn't you just say it
Tell me how you felt
And don't say because I didn't do it
I didn't want to open up
And my explanation be true
Yet how am I supposed to think otherwise
When I'm a mere distraction
Something so small in your life
You look over me
Even when you're looking dead at me
You know you're on my mind
A million ways before Sunday
Yet somehow I feel
I'll never be on yours
I know the distance is killing us
But fear is why your losing me
And I'm losing all I need

Dead in this existence
Growing more futile
With every punch I throw
Why the sad faces
Why the tears
You didn't notice me before
Overlooked so easily
Slowly killing myself
Burying my pain at the hearth
Short comings I'll have no one to blame
But my own selflessness
Me
Why do I do it to myself
Fall in love with women
I know will never love me
The way I want to love them
Why do I give the world
So many opportunities to **** me
I'm a product of misfortune
Designated punching bag
To the world around me
Object of self torture
I endure with a smile
But despise behind closed doors
It's inhuman to have this many
Self destructive tendencies
From love to loyalty
From kindness to caring
I want to be over it
See ******* more
Look you in the face and watch you hurt
Instead of me
I've already accepted
I'll be alone for the remainder of my time
So when I ask why me
Know it's not a question
But a statement as the reason
Why I do the things that I do need

Questions no answers
All these things
Beating on my skull
You're the only one that can help
But you hide
So why should I try to continue?

Count down begins
Will 3 walls of cement hold me
While the 4th only let's me ponder
On what's on the other side
Will the judges hammer
Find me innocent
To the slandering allegations
Or will I be trapped
Cage gerbil questioning my existence
Will I be free
To see my little girl
To talk to the best woman I've ever known
Feel the comfort of my own bed
Taste mom's home cooking
Smell the wild flowers
When I go 70 pass them
What will the outcome be
When the severity of it all
Is so overwhelming
You wonder what's the point of fighting
When all anyone sees
Is the tattoos and gauges
Criminal line up
Guilty before evidence denies
I'm the villian
Even if I was gone for the day

Would you sit with me?
Will you listen?
To my story
To my tales of heartache
To my fantasy of finding love

Will you listen?
To what I have to say
Or judge me
And just walk away
With a look of disgust

Would you sit with me?
Will you listen?
To the words of wisdom
To my problems
To my cries

Will you listen?
To what I have to say
Or disregard me
And just walk away
With pity in your eyes

Sure I may be homeless
Had it all
Lost in a moment to greed
Will you listen?
Before it happens to you

I don't need your sympathy
Your pity or disgust
Just an ear
For even a minute
I'm not asking for much

Will you listen?
So my wisdom
Will be passed on
Like a genetic code
So I can lay myself to rest

I doubt you will
You just walk past me
On these cold heartless streets
Throwing change my way
Thinking I need it more than you

I need nothing more
Than someone willing to listen
Just for a minute
It's my dying wish
Will you listen?

Take a look
Snap a pic
Souvenir in case
You already know
But I'd rather not dwell
Window shop till
You've seen it all
What's the harm
I'll be your theme park
Quick thrills
Lasting memories
Even if I'm not what you want
In the end you can't say
I didn't try to make you smile
Every chance I could
So take another peak
I promise I'll bite
Only as hard as you want
While I kiss you
As long as I can

Your sleek ebony feathers
Cascading miles of white
Snow falling with each call for a mate
Piercing through the harsh icy winds
Raven. You're wasting your time
This winter has annihilated your chances
Of ever seeing her again
Your ebony beak now holds ice
Crystallizing your fears
You know death is nipping at you
As your wings of darkness flap
They only postpone this inevitable fate
You too shall fall like autumn leaves
Buried in the weight of winters sorrow
Like the roses and Lillie's you picked
Just for her on spring mornings
You know you're not a winter raven
You're just the last one to find happiness

You ever hear the story
Where everybody’s dream came true
Where life seemed to stand still
Happiness an infinite natural resource
Death could be cheated
Rock paper and scissors
An easy victory


Me either
Just wishful thinking

I hide my soul
I hide my thoughts
From a world
Too sane to comprehend
The darkness I hold
Within these walls

Caged and imprisoned
Feeding off the self-pity
Envy growing
As laughter comes in through the window
But still I'm alone
Hiding from the world

I love the silence
Hate thee loneliness
But even in the dark
Within these walls
We both are prisoners
To my subconscience

I broke your pathetic heart and watched it bleed....happily!

For so long I've hated myself
Overthinking my inadequacy
Setting personal standards
I never could measure up to
I'm not funny
I'm not cute
Just a furry blob
A disgusting existence
Not suited for any level of affection
Never good enough
For anybody or any certain someone
I was wrong
Stuck in the wrong State of mind
I'm more than enough
Profound in all aspects
It's you're standards overly extended
It's they who aren't worthy
To the love that only I can express
My existence is golden
It's your sight that fails
I've allowed negativity
To exceed in it's success
Drowning my self worth out
If I'm not good enough to you
You were never great enough for me
I need 12pm car rides holding hands
2am cuddle sessions
5:45am coffee
6:30am kisses as I'm off to work
Dances with my daughter
Whenever I get home
Rock paper scissors to see who cooks
I'll probably lose on purpose
Just to give her a break
Foot massages with her favorite show
Cold beer just to end the day
Back to the grind
As the rooster crows
I've been in the wrong State of mind
Too long thinking what I saw
Shaking it's head at me in the mirror
Was the one that was right
I'm simple yet complex
If you can't figure that out
It's your loss not mine
I need reasons to be a kid
In between days of adulting
I need "I love you"
With sincerity that melts me
I don't want to be this tungsten wall
Painted to portray a man
Of 1940s ideals
I need a reason to not be scared
To let emotions run rampant
Finally recycling stockpiled toxins
If it isn't you
Maybe I've been in the wrong State of mind
Telling myself you're the one I needed
When I'm the one you don't want

One step out of line of view
The sound of clumsy feet
Hurrying to follow where my shadow
Just slipped away from
Or megaphone whines
As I close the door behind
Separation anxiety kicking in
She's relatively calm for her age
Power mode kicks in
Just before bed
Quick round of who's Alpha
Tug of war and ****** snacks
Settling down with the flick of a switch
Cuddled up on her blanket
Foot side night watch
Till thunder rolls too close to home
Then it's in my bed cuddled up
Hi, this is Xena
My 8 week old
German Shepherd puppy
Shes a big scary dog
Not a cute little pup
That licks her victims
Then chases their feet
Won't roll over for any amount
Of unneeded attention
So if you're not careful
She'll have you wrapped
Tightly around her paw
Torturing you with nibbles and kisses

I'm sorry
The moment you feared has arrived
Like the fat kid getting on the scale for the first time
Like the stoner taking a drug test
Like the old guy listening to the doctor
Here's the results
Yeah...it's over
I give up
You wont mind
Hell I know you wont
Its already like its over
Maybe I'll sail away on a kite
Get lost in between the atmospheres
And all that's left is this little note
So I hope you read this
Dont text me now
I'll be too high to reply
But like all the other times
Its over before it ever started
Your silence was the reply that pushed me over the top

I am a ****
You may now stop telling the world about this
I think they know just as well as I
I may just be the biggest but I can always go another inch
If you want to keep complaining of the way I am now
It just gets worse from here
I have no intention of becoming somebody's *****
Or mindless slave
Yes I am a ****
Big, strong, long and what you beg to have
I'm not the best looking
But I promise if you **** me off
I'll break more than your pelvis
And no I am not going to have *** with you
Because I am a ****
Honorable and very well respectful of my peers
Now ******* and leave me alone

I vacation in the deepest pits of hell
I swim in lakes of flames
And **** the innocence
From the weak
Yo soy el diablo

Fear me you pathetic *****
Bow before my Almightiness
Choke on the tip of my trident
**** on the fruits of my manhood
Yo soy el diablo

You thought you could break me
But that was a test
To see if your soul would be worth feasting on
I broke you and made you nothing
Yo soy el diablo

Lick the tip of poverty
Swallow the come of humility
Learn your place
Beneath the power of this almighty Demon
Yo soy el diablo

YO SOY EL DIABLO
I am the Devil
Fear me
Learn you cant control me
Learn your soul is forever mine
I own you and you do as I say

You are my muse
You are my inspiration
You are my one true love
Yet I don't know you

I've told stories about you
I've heard your voice
You can't be seen
You're just as lost as I

Who are you
What is your name
If I only knew you
Better than myself

You're a myth
You have no reflection
Yet I can describe you
If I only knew you

You have no pulse
You have no shadow
You have a voice
But still no face

I don't know you
But I'm in love with you
You say your hurt
Yet you don't reveal yourself

You don't want my help
Your the reason I live
The reason I get up
When I fall flat on my face

I can trust you
But I don't tell you my secrets
I can love you
But I never tried

You need me
More than you need air
You love me
But you don't say it

My dear eternal goddess
I envy your passion of life
I wish I could be at your side
In the night hours of moonlight
I wish I could kiss your lips
Of rose pedal tender ecstasy
I wish I could hold you in my arms
Of Superman steel safety
I want you to know
You are my existence
Without I am nothing
The remnants of my world
Belong to you
I have nothing to offer you
That is even worth your time
But I offer you my love
My world of ashen ghost shadows
My heart of fragile fragments
I wish I could offer you more
But as you can see
Adreishka, You Are My Existence
I love you
Translate that into every language
The meaning is still the same

Here's my reply
Yes
I don't need to be by your side
Of every waking minute
I don't have to tell you
Baby I love you
I don't want to see you
Waist deep in your own tears
Afraid that I won't love you
When mascara runs quicker than fear
You asked me
Several times in less than an hour
How can I love you
When your nothing than an emotion wreck
My reply was as simple as saying
I was the deer caught in the headlights
Happy to leave my blood on your bumper
I shouldn't have to answer every question
Because you already know the answer
Long before it spews off this tongue
I'm so madly in love with you
Criminally insane people call the kettle black
If you saw what I see
How many tears wouldn't roll down
Those rosy hills on your face
How can I be your hero
When you can't be my sidekick
I depend on you just as as much as you do me
You asked me
So it's my turn to ask you
Will you let me love you
The way I know you love me

If only you knew what I had in stored for you
What I'm bringing to the table
A secret weapon you weren't ready for
Don't let me open up the briefcase
It'll only spell bad news for you
When memories.of emotions flood you
But if you thought the distance was great
It will only double
Because when its all revealed
I'll truly have the last laugh
You'd **** yourself
If you thought I was joking
Sad to say but but I'm more open
Than a prostitutes legs
Yet you couldn't understand the language
When only the blind can see through me

You lied to me
You stand there
Looking deep into my eyes
Saying their beautiful
Saying I have the best smile
You have ever seen
But I know that your lying to me
Because your heart
Is not intended to love me
But your so set
On feeling like your wanted
Truly desired by someone
You lied to me
How can I trust you now
When I don't know
If those three words
You whisper in my ear
Are even real
Or if your playing me like a second to nothing
Run down fiddle
I hope your happy
Because I'm done
I'm tired of loving
Someone who doesn't and can't
Show me the same feelings
Because you would rather use the drugs
Instead of being my mother

But its worth a shot
I miss you
I miss talking to my best friend
The very one I loved once
Should I even reach out to you
You'll never read this
So why not
I'll tell you now I was an *******
I tried to convince you
That you felt the same as me
But I need you now more than ever
I need advice
I need insanity
Its the only thing that made me me
You kept that alive in me
I still love you
But not the way I once did
I love you as a friend
I miss you till the end of days
You'll never read this
The you I know is gone

Here I am
Living proof
That YOLO is a false statement
Because here I have lived
Over a million times
Walked in the shoes
Of a million people
And those who have seen the life
That is either as bad as mine
Or as good as mine
Have become the inspiration to every poem
I am not just your average poet
I am the voice of the speechless
The ears to the unheard
Why should the rejected be refused
We still bleed
Even if we bleed
Blood darkened with poison
You Only Live Once is a false statement
Because I have killed myself
Over a million times
Within the words
I have painted onto lines
I am an artist
Words that might be cold
Words that might be heavenly
But still words
Intended for an audience
That can comprehend their meaning
I have murdered millions of people
Within the words
Yet they still stand
They still try to tear me down
They still reject the refused
I ****, I commit suicide
Every time I close my eyes
So continue to use a statement
False in every way
You Only Live Once
You Die You **** Every Chance You Are Given

I can tell I'm not getting anywhere
I know I don't know how you feel
I just hope you remember that poem
That one that was only for your eyes
That only you and me ever knew about
I meant every word
Surely you forgot
I'm only ******* you off
Sometimes you have to know when to bail
I'm ejecting
Aborting this mission
But ill never stop feeling this way
I know how I feel is true
I wish I knew what to do
Knew where to go from here
Because its easy to see
You want nothing to do with me anymore
Maybe all the idea of an us was
Was a hallucination
Compiled by the frailty of my eager heart
To find someone that didn't fall for me
But simply just liked me for who and what
I was already
Nothing

Every line a perfect metaphor
Every stanza a perfect simile
You're the poem I wish I wrote
Because you are perfect
The muse to every poem I write
I love you
I wish I could read you
Day in and day out
You're the poem I wish I wrote
But you're the poem I fell in love with
And get to read as long as you're with me

Time doesn't stand still
Mistakes I've learned from
Lessons I've explored
Diving till I've mastered
Still more remains
Have to keep telling myself
You're still young
Even though you're falling apart
Your seams can still be stitched
Only scars will remain
To tell a story before you leave
Insight to the sculptor
That carved his path
With finger nails
And hammer fists

Its sweeter than pure sugar
More than a normal heart
Could possibly contain
Your love my dear
I dont deserve

Its addicting like ******
My own legal drug
The highs are better
Than taking someones innocence
And ruining another life

Your love
Its pure and untainted
You whisper it in my  ear
As I hold you close
Slowly stripping your body

Your love
Gives my heart an *******
As if your soft skin under my hands
Gives my body one
Both of which I want you to enjoy

Your love
Sets my heart and soul on fire
A new flame for this old wick
A warmth I havent felt in so long
A cure for my desolate broken heart

Your love
I wish I could comprehend
Its more than I can possibly bare
But will return proudly
Because I know its true

Your naked body
Close to mine
I embrace
As our bodies meet
Showing each other the affection we share

That's what I was to you
I loved being it
It made me the happiest man
Your perfect demonic disaster
Unfortunately killed himself
Hope your happy now

Its your time of the month
Its my time of the day
Somebody has to do it
So dont ask me why I'm in the shower
For 20 extra minutes

Posted on my castle temple walls
Signs you should of took the time to read
"Warning"
Monster untamed and vicious
"Danger"
Toxic tears will erode your soul
"Keep Out"
You will die slow and painfully
These walls hold secrets
Victims to my monstrous demented ways
Have become the white picket fence
Barbed-wire running through temples
Oozing out the toxicity of my love
You should of read the signs
They were warnings
Before you walked the yellow brick road
That is now painted red
With those who have tried
To make me something I was never meant to be
I'm no angel
I'm no saint kneeling at an altar
I'm the demonic statue
Crucified upon golden crosses
I'm the symbolic monster
Tormented by the whipping voices in my head
You should of read the signs
They were warnings
To the same fate that fell upon others

With this 45 I release myself
From the chains of my self-control
From the walls of my prison
From the pains of my past
From the halls of my emptiness

With this blade I release myself
From the poison of my veins
From the evil of my deeds
From the darkness of my insanity
From the pits of my hell

******* humanity
I have failed all your test
Refused to break down
And bow before anyone
Like a pathetic *** *****

You all look down upon me
Thinking to yourself
I'm no better than you
But I'm stronger
Because I don't live on my knees

You WantedRage

Here you go
I am ******* ******
I hate you
I hope you rot in the spoils of man
I know your not going anywhere
You are ******* pathetic
You’re never going
To amount to anything
You’re weak and always crying
Nobody is going to give you attention
Nobody even likes you
You pathetic ****
Go curl up in a ditch
And ******* die already
You call yourself depressed
You say you want to **** yourself
Well ******* do it already
You wanted rage
I will gladly give it to you
I hope you choke on your blood
You wanted rage
So I hope my hand around your throat
Is giving you want you want
I never ******* loved you
I used you
I played you from the start
How could I ever love you
You were ******* ugly
I’m sorry
You are ******* ugly
You cry like a *****
When someone tells you
That you’re annoying
Well wake the **** up
Realize your not just annoying
Nobody likes you
So die
Jump off the cliff
Plummet to your demise
I will be sure
To **** and **** on your grave
I ***** in your coffin
Beat my meat into your eye socket
And I hope you never see that heaven
You falsely believe in
Your God doesn’t even like you
Your God doesn’t even exist
You wanted rage
Well happy merry ******* Christmas
This is your last one
No more birthdays
No more ******* anything
Just a dark oblivion
That is perfect for you
Because ***** you are repulsive
So I hope you’re happy now
Because you’re ******* dying
Pushed by what you wanted the most
Seeing my rage
Snapping my sanity
Well I hope this is demonic enough for you

Last words my mother spoke
Just before I hung up the phone
All I wanted was to thank her
For giving me the hatred
That inspired all if not most of my poems
Thank her for giving me anger
That was toxic to the eyes of those
Too close when I snapped
I wanted to give credit where credit is due
But she decided to say
You were a mistake
She had more to say I know
But I am tired of listening to her *******
I want her dead
I want to **** her myself
But instead I will let the cancer
Within her lungs suffocate her ever so slowly