it's a new year,
and something i fear,
it may be better
or even worse this year,
let's just pray
that things will be okay
and our families be safe
maybe 2021 won't be that bad

4 walls around me,
they start to close in,
i'm feeling insane,
i keep remembering
why i'm here,
i'm all alone,
i die of fear
when i should've known,
4 walls they're pulling in,
i've hurt myself
and i can't win

six feet under,
there lies the bodies of the dead,
the ones who sacrificed their lives,
and those killed themselves instead.
There lies the fate,
of the ones that were to die,
some couldn't help themselves,
and others just wanted to fly.

she laughed and cried,
she lived then died,
she walked and now flies,
an angel inside,
her soul made of light,
that the people destroyed,
she was once an angel,
but now a devil employed

Thoughts beautifully carved into words that touch the heart,
in a poet’s mind,
what you see is just a part,
of the tangle of feelings,
and trying to find some meaning,
what stays in our minds,
and the ease we seem to find,
in expressing our thoughts,
our thoughts beautifully, carefully, carved into words that touch the heart.

everyone has something,
that gives them a feeling of inner power,
for me, it's the art i create.
I'm not only making this for others,
i'm making it for myself.
Art is the one thing
that others shouldn't have an opinion on,
because what i portray in my art,
is what's going through my mind.

the range of colors,
in the sky,
i can see your soul,
you let it fly,
i want to be,
with you for now,
then later i can forget,
that you were ever around.
the green,
the blue,
my love for you,
the purple,
the yellow,
the air so mellow,
the wind it blows,
and i let you go,
aurora borealis,
it reminds me of you.

I wonder what it’s like to wake up on a beautiful
fall morning
Walk outside on the crunchy, amber leaves
Not a care in the world, nothing bothers you,
Because it’s hard to feel sad on such a brisk, invigorating,
fall morning

The sun is shining brighter than yesterday
The grass is greener than ever
The birds are chirping joyously
The puddles splash as the kids jump in it

If only life was as easy as a walk in the park

Jealousy is a hideous beast
He hides in the cave
waiting to attack
the innocent ones
and he eats them up
So they become a part of him

We’re all going to die one day
So there’s no point in trying to fulfill
What others want

My father was the devil,
and he asked me one day,
"do you want me to curse the souls of every human that hurt you?"
i replied,
"no, because you'd curse the people i love."

My mother was an angel,
and she asked me one day,
"do you want me to bless the souls of every human that loved you?"
i replied,
"no, because you'd bless the people i hurt."

dig under the soil,
secrets hidden beneath,
the flowers take energy,
from the secrets we keep,
some blooming, some stand tall,
others dry up, wither and fall.

can you breathe for the both of us?

bruised from your words,
scarred from your hate,
staying up all night,
conversations i recreate,
i think about you,
though you hate me more than ever,
i wanted us to be happy,
but that didn't last forever

her soul burnt, charred pieces fell apart,
the flames of the cruel fire seared into her heart,
and what was it made of?
Only what people made of it, as a heartless soul
but she only knew of love and that's all she wanted
until they killed her soul
and buried her ashes.

grown into flowers,
her ashes cried every morning,
they hurt her terribly
but nature has it's consequences

is it too late for change,
or are we just afraid of the consequences?

you thought we had a story,
but you were just a chapter of my life,
the pages are all torn out,
and I have so much left to write.

you have to hurt to heal,
there's no other way out.
You have to hate to let go of love,
You have to change to love yourself,

not every sky is blue,
and not all the grass is green,
not every prince is charming,
and neither is the queen.
things aren't always the same,
and sometimes will never be,
so let go of cliche,
and let changes come to me.

cloudy sky,
filled with my hate,
the rain falls,
and i leave the place,
the thunder calls,
but i don't turn around.
if lightning strikes you,
then it's the end of all.

I'm waiting for the day i can take control over my life

my heart it beats,
but not for you,
my words i speak,
they're never true,
the way i lie,
and you say it back,
i never loved you,
your words are cracked

sometimes our mind is the darkest place,
but so is the midnight sky.

some days, i feel as if i'm not worth being loved,
as if today will be my worst day ever,
as if anything and everything could go wrong,
and other days, i feel as if i can rule the world,
and i remember the people that love me
and the people i love.

dear future,
don't hide things from me,
let me be sad,
and anger take over me.
i know i can't decide things,
but don't make it perfect,
i want the ups and downs,
i want it to be worth it.

dear future,
please take care of me,
whatever you have in store,
just let it come to me,
i don't want to rush things,
or make things bad,
but i just want my future to be mine,
not anyone to have.

thank you future,
for hearing me out,
i'd like it if you'd answer,
i don't want to scream and shout.
It may not be worth it,
but it works just right for me,
please keep me happy,
and take care of us please.

i patiently wait for my demons
to take me to their home,
because i feel that i belong there,
and i know i'm not alone.

like a large stone,
holding me down,
like im in a sea,
ready to drown,
like i'm stuck,
and i have nowhere to go,
death awaits me,
like i already know.

my lungs fill with fire,
and my heart bleeds the flames.
It's what i desire,
there's no need for shame,
i breathe out the hate,
and inhale what i need,
my problems aren't yours,
so let them be.
You're not here to love me,
so what're you here for?
My skin is now burnt,
there's nothing to live for,
you hated me,
and so did i,
now let me be,
so i can die

are we devils,
or angels in disguise,
do we hate each other,
or is it all lies?

do we ****
for the pleasure or the fun,
or is it for the angels,
before we become one?

tears of pain and fear,
of losing you here,
and holding on to you,
was never so easy,
i don't want to let go,
so please don't leave me,
in this dark world
you helped me through,
i need your love and protection
so take me with you

pearly white,
beauty flight,
contrast to night,
the bird of peace,
and love and all,
the dove it flies,
wings rise and fall.

my heart drains,
leaves no water behind,
my arid heart,
my love so dry,
someone please water it,
my body remains,
just a dry soul,
that my heart drains

the nights were so heavy,
i couldn't help but drown
in the pain

if it was the end of the world,
would you spend your last breath with me?

Why is everybody crying?
I didn’t matter to them a day ago
My enemies were now weeping into their mother’s arms
But why?
If they cared for me, why didn’t they show it?
....
I killed myself for a reason

she's smiling,
but is she really joyful?
she needs some time to be her,
not smile when she's feeling awful.
She finds herself being too gloomy again,
so she tries to be fake,
and hides her feelings from her friends,
if that's what it takes.
She's going through her own struggles,
but doesn't want to show,
that she's not happy at all,
and that her feelings are to grow.

she hides under her bed
and cries herself to sleep,
she wants a happy life,
but she hides what she needs,
though to many she may be joyous
and as many friends she has,
she still needs someone close
which she clearly never had

i'm falling.
there's nothing to hold on to,
not your love, not mine,
not our hate, even combined,
it's not enough,
to keep me alive,
please don't let me go,
i want to survive

someone get me out of this fantasy,
it's too good to be true,
i could live here happily,
but it wouldn't be fair to you.

if destiny is fate,
can i change it?

I stand in the field,
Devoid of worries,
Just me and my soul,
Forgetting life.

they tell me "be strong, stay resistant,
you should keep up a fight"
but i hide under my sheets at the worst hours of night
i try to be a fighter,
but i do it with my words,
so ill keep writing what i write
in hopes of being heard.

nothing is perfect,
so there is never a "forever"

i'm walking in the open fields,
and i see it
the red fur, black-tipped ears,
the agonizing bushy white tail
it stops in sight,
giving me an alluring stare for a few seconds
then swiftly runs with it's black feet in the grass