This friend I have is one I know
She would never want to go
Something's burning from inside
I can't bear to let it hide
Another moment, I fear the worst;
I decide to tell her first

Searching for courage, but it's tough;
I don't think I have enough
Finally, I say the words
Though every single sentence hurts
The fear is cutting through my bones
My heart is beating through my toes

After I have spilled it all
I look up and silence falls
She begins to grab her things
My fresh tears begin to sting
I reach my hand out for a touch
She flinches and says "You're ******* up"

I can't believe what I've just heard
But I remember every word
Clear as crystal inside my head
I'll be silent forever instead
I can't do this anymore;
I feel my heart slam shut its door

She ran fast away from me
She didn't even hear my scream
I kick, I cry, I pound my head
I can't believe I've lost my friend
This friend was one I thought I knew;
She walked out right on cue

To my son
I thankyou for being there
For holding my head up high
For showing me you care
Sorry you had to see me in my worst way
It was amazing how you said to me
"Dad dont believe what they say
Vultures love to feed on their prey
You need to stand up like me
Don't let them push you around
Keep your fears aside
Or they will kick you while your down
You don't need people like that around
They are cruel and mean
If you and I stick together
We will make a great team
So dont worry about what they say
And put their stupid words behind you
Look at me right here
Because I will always love you!"

Thought about alot, specially today.  I have come to see that there was a problem. And it was me. I had a wife that I could not make happy.  I had tried, but did not succeed.  I know this because I had let my self go. She had even told me so. Told me that if we did not know one another and had passed eachother. She wouldnt show no interest in me. Because I am not what her eyes were attracted to see. Probably a reason she is angry.  That and because I am useless and lazy. I know this because I hear it all day. From people at work and home. You didn't do this and you needed to do that. You have done nothing you lazy piece of crap! Even from our son who I hold close to my heart. He puses me away so I feel miles apart. So now I understand why you need to smoke your ****. Because you need it to help you deal with ignorant annoying people. And I am sorry I let one be me. Sorry I did not see. Sorry for being the reason you yell. I did not mean to make your life hell. Sorry I am not what I made my self to be. You will be happier now..now that your free. You will not have to hear me say. How sad I feel every day. But one more thing I must say. I never planned for it to be this way......