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I guess you're sleeping, I would be surprised if you weren't.
I'm sharing my thoughts with you. I think you care but I'm not sure. People say they care all the time and they really don't.
Maybe I'm sharing with you because you are so far away and it's easier that way. I don't have to see the shame or disappointment in your eyes.
Haven't heard your voice in a while and maybe that's a good thing. Because I honestly for whatever reason believe there is  something different about you. I'm rambling. If you were standing in front of me I would be tripping over my words.
I feel like screaming. Just to let everything out. I am losing myself. I have no idea who or what I want to be anymore. I'm trying to see positivity but I'm clouded in despair and I don't know what to do anymore. I hate that I'm losing me.
It is so hard to breathe, I really don't want to be anymore, I don't care to exist.
I am unhappy.
Craving more than tangible.

Tendrils of smoke curl around smouldering hearts.
Pleasurable shudders reverberate throughout.
Bodies move with fluid grace.
Coming together like they already know the steps of the dance, like they've danced together before.
Perhaps another life.
Excitement lust and passion shine in their eyes
Souls recognize eachother
Two broken beings coming together for comfort only to realize they are not in fact broken but strong and powerful
Eascences come tovether and meld into one another neither knows where each respectively ends or begins. Nor do they care for its no longer important.
Elations rings out  exploding the body mind and soul as they ley fused for a few breathtaking moments.
As the disentangle they come back to themselves but still connected in a way.
Leaving one another with a piece of themselves in te proccess. Craving more than tangible
Delusion illusion. Or unfeigned authentic.
You cradle my heart in the palms of your hands
the way that you make me love you is the type
of love that sets fire works off in my chest.
the type that screams in pain when you get even a tiny paper
cut, I've watched you. Grow and bend and mold and suffer.
I've watched you set your heart on fire for those that wont even set an ember ablaze for you. You're the purest form of life that there ever will be. what you touch revives from your embrace. When you shed just one tear entire worlds crumble inside me, when you weep my universe disintegrates completely. You are loved. You are cherished. You are Beautiful. You Will Forever Be My Muse.
To my dear sister. I love you more than you can even fathom
I savored the way you said i love you
as if it was the last breath i would ever take
Every time
each syllable protruding out of your lips
would leave me craving for more
Every time
as if you where my life support
the IV attached to my veins giving me life
Every time
But when you left
the bad after taste stayed in my mouth
and all i wanted to do was spit it out
I tore down every bridge,
and every wall to let you in.

I dried lakes, rivers, oceans,
to save you from drowning.

I found myself,
draining in weakness to strengthen you.

You became powerful, you became immortal,
you became my god.

Now I clench onto this sadness of mine.
The loneliness you left behind.

Its the only thing that reminds me,
our story was once alive.

Its my safe place.
When you're gone,

and I need a muse to help
bleed all this pain out.

Like tonight,
when writing about the moon,
can no longer help me survive.


*Sandoval
To Drew..
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