otherwise I would keep
a diary or a journal instead

I sing to be heard
otherwise I would sing
in the shower

some like me
some don’t
most can’t figure me out

most can’t figure themselves
out either –

ya’ll just need to take a breather

I wonder how much longer I can go on like this
When is sick sick enough
I know im not right
I know I need help
But I fight with myself on how bad I really am
In my world 60kg isnt low enough
Whats wrong with 55kg?
Is a day without food guilt enough to have some the next?
Or will I yet again draw that blade across to remind myself that I gave in?
When is enough enough?

i will be awake to watch the day bleed into night,
when the sun is replaced by the bitter moon.

retrospectively, i feel i should be contrite,
alas, i am not one to change my tune.

the shell of a girl i once was,
walks in my place with a smile,
small talks from my repetoire,
makes me seem worthwhile.

i regret the lines i have written,
remorse what i have not yet done,
with the fake image i hence became smitten,
no lies may second to none.

A mustard seed sized faith can move
a mountainous situation
Faith expressed and put to action
is no match for raging fear

An irreplaceable mirror
One of a kind
An irreplaceable memory
Stored in a photograph

The mirror, shattered
Shards lying on the floor
The photograph, tarnished
Smeared with paint

A room reeking of chemicals
Belonging to an asthmatic.
Being refused the refuge
Of sleeping on the couch.

A gouge in the wall
A long, scratched line
White smears across
A brand new, silver surface.

But we can't sue,
Or complain
Because your son
Runs our Real Estate.

Unusually attracted to the sacred
but truly, I ain’t a saint

It’s the stories and the symbols
That almost make me faint

But I’ve never left this world
Which money, misery and malice taint

I just stare at the moonlit sky
And Salvador Dali’s strange paint