If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree.

If beginnings are always so simple, endings must be just as hard.
To watch you go would be to let you cut my wrists open and bleed on every letter you've written me, every kiss that still lingers on my not-the-same-without-you lips.
To un-grip the fingerprints that make your palms what they are
would be me losing my identity all over again
and letting the thought of your laugh get the best of me.
I'm holding my breath until the next time I see you.
7 years is a long time when 2 days are long enough
And 200 miles is too far away
when my heart cannot stretch that far without falling apart.
I can feel my body slip into survival mode
shielding itself from something that could **** more than a physical threat.
I want to cling my anxious onto you
sew myself to the back of your shirt
Search your vertebrae like it's the answer to why I can't breathe at a steady pace when I can't hold you for a second longer
Why someone so medicinal to my wounds would be taken away quicker than I was ever able to take them all in.
I'm trying to bottle it all up but all you can do is shake.
I know you say you only want the best but empty bottles like me were never meant to be opened.
You were the only one with hands strong enough to do it.

I have slept in my bed 800 times
799 times I have slept in between sheets alone, without you
And yet that 735th night
Is what haunts me on night 801
Without you.
I need to get a new bed
And new sheets
And new skin
That you have not touched me in.