Spike every leader's cup of tea,
With mescaline and LSD, add
Just a pinch of ecstasy, and
Soon the world will be more free.

I'm confused
Beat down
Broken
Breathless.
Try to be real
In an incredibly fake world
And as a reward
You receive
Nothing.

I blame it on the easy things,
my parents,
past relationships,
black holes.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.
Deciding to stop
when they told me to go.
Screaming out "yes"
as I was choking down "no."
Pressing the pedal
when I should've gone slow.
My actions and my words
never quite match up.
Saying I'm healthy
as smoke fills my lungs.
Calling myself an atheist
but telling it to God.
Sitting here wondering,
When will I stop?
I can blame it on the easy things,
stimulants,
a chemical imbalance,
the doctors white coat.
But it's always been me
that's been in
control.