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I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.
REMIELOU FERNIZ Jun 2018
If you ask me what I liked about you,
The answer is – I don’t know.

Maybe it’s your eyes.

How it was covered by thick glasses,
Or how the bags have permanently
resided below them.

Maybe because of how they twinkled
When a new song would come up,
Or the way they squint
When you try to act cute.

Maybe because of the loneliness  
Reflected on them when you look at her.
How they followed her direction
With sadness and adoration.

Maybe it’s the way they shed tears
- tears that she does not deserve.
Or how I wanted to wipe them off
And replace them with eye smiles.

Or maybe how I wanted them
To land at my direction.
Yeah, maybe it was your eyes.


Or maybe it’s your nose.

How it’s not pointed and small enough.
How your eye glasses have rested on its bridge,
Or how it wrinkles when you don’t like something.

Maybe It’s the way you smell
The scent of coffees and cigarettes,
Or how they get clogged when you cry
And how mine gets clogged too.
Maybe it was your nose.


Or Maybe it’s your lips.

How thin and dry they are.
How they smirk at stupid things.
Or maybe because of the words
That spill from them.

Maybe it’s the way they tremble
When you struggle to speak bisaya.
Or the way your tagalog accent comes out
When your angry, annoyed or confused.

Maybe it’s the way they move
As you whisper I love you’s
And sana ako nalang to her,
While I whisper those to you.

Maybe how I wanted to taste those lips
On mine and savor its softness.
Or maybe even just for the way they curve
Into smile when you are with her.

Maybe the way you frown
When she’s with somebody else.
Or maybe I wanted to also wipe those out.
Yeah, maybe it was your lips.

Or maybe I simply don’t need a reason at all.
  Sep 2017 REMIELOU FERNIZ
Miss Honey
I’m gay I’m gay I’m gay I’m gay I'm gay
it kind of
spills off my tongue
when I don’t want it to
an
impulse
a
burning choke in my throat
falling out of me when I wish it would stay inside
when strangers are around
when
they really don’t need to know

it’s painted on my face
it’s written on the backs of my hands
my collarbone is burning white hot with a tell
and my eyes watering every secret of it

can they tell?
can everyone see right through me?
I’m
too scared to ask
somehow
also too scared to keep it inside

It wants out more than anything
but
she wants to be safe more than anything
REMIELOU FERNIZ Jun 2017
I tried to let go...

of the feelings I have.
for you have someone else
In your heart.

I tried to let go...

of the moments we shared.
for you have also shared countless
unforgettable moments together.

I tried to let go...

of the hopes,
of that tiny glistening hope
that maybe you would notice me.

I tried. And its a futile attempt.

For darling,
I
am
so
drawn
to
you.
REMIELOU FERNIZ May 2017
For now I have known
that there is more to life
than just love
alone.

Like the dust in the
galaxy,
Love is
too small.

But just like dust
in the galaxy,
Love is
everywhere.
REMIELOU FERNIZ Mar 2017
I looked at you
as I bid my goodbye.
I'm sorry-
To have liked you more
Than what a friend should.
I'm sorry-
To have hoped that maybe
Just maybe
You would choose me.
I'm sorry-
To have took advantage
Of our friendship
Just to be close to you
Always.
I'm sorry-
For not telling you.

You have to know
That even before we,
WE, become friends
I have liked you enough.
Enough to make me
Accept things I never
Could have accepted.

Darling, I want you to know-
That you are my sunshine.
The one who brightens my day.
I want you to know-
That I love you.
And that somewhere, someone wants to fight for you.
I want you to know-
That I have never felt like this
Before. Never.
I want you to know-
That I thank God to have introduced you to me.

My love, my darling, my sunshine,
As I bid my goodbye,
I want to say,
Thank you.
REMIELOU FERNIZ Apr 2016
I am
in the middle
of the
unknowns.

Struggling to fight.
Struggling to be known.

I am
alone
in
this battle.

and though
I might find
someone
I know,

still, I am
in the middle
of the
unknowns.
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