Some people might call it insanity
But I call it
Love

I used to see only seas of black
                                    when I looked around
                                                       But now it's just shrinks offices
                                                                                              And hospital beds

If I saw you today, I'd walk the other direction

I used to do it to remind myself I was alive.
But now I can't stop.
I use to do it to feel something instead of being numb all the time.
But now I can't stop.
I used to do it to remind myself that I was still able to feel and that I wasn't just an empty shell.
But now I can't stop.
I used to do it and want to stop.
But now I don't want to.

I can fake my identity and try to look happy,
but its all just a cover.
Take a swig from the flask and remove the last mask
only to find another.

There was once a time when I knew myself,
but now I'm not so sure.
All semblance of self-worth lay eroding in the dirt,
and its all thanks to her.

It's not really her fault, I'm truly to blame.
I grew selfish out of fear.
Afraid of being alone, I couldn't let her go
and now she's nowhere near.

She opened the bottle
It could be over so easily.
Pouring all of the little white tablets
Into her cold palm.
Slowly looking up into the mirror
She saw those dull green eyes,
Once bright with adventure
now dark with regret.
She looked down at her phone
That message still showing.
"**** yourself" it said
And finally she did.