Remember.the.early.days.
When.you.first.did.a.text.
Instead.of.doing.a.space.
After.a.word.a.dot.came.next.

I didn't get mail today,
The postman didn't call,
No letter box rattling,
No letters in the hall,

No dinner reservations,
No flights to Istanbul,
No romantic entanglement,
Valentine's day’s so cruel.

An ither Burns night,
Has finally come alang,
If you've got an invite,
You'll hae to sing a song,

You'll soon be reciting poems,
Wi a whisky in one hand,
A haggis in the ither,
You'll be feeling mighty grand,

Daein wan o Rabbies,
Or wan you've writ yersel,
Gie it public airing,
You'll hae us in a spell,

Once the night's ower,
Poems spinning round yer heid,
Burns night is for aw body,
It's a pity that he's deid.

You brought us so much happiness,
You taught us how to laugh,
You brought us Mork and Mindy,
Didn't do comedy by half,

Popeye the spinach eating sailor,
Patch Adams' squeaky shoes,
Happy films made for kids,
Childhood's not to lose,

Things we didn't understand,
About your private life,
About the drink and drugs,
And depression that was rife,

The day that comedy died,
The day you took your life,
The family that will miss you,
The sadness of your wife.

Can't believe what I'm seeing,
All the flames and smoke,
Sparks ignite expanding foam,
Skyline begins to choke,

Smoke is seen from miles around,
Drifts across the M8 motorway,
Drifting down Renfrew Street,
Students stand and pray,

Students were getting ready,
Their talent ready to show
The fire put a stop to that,
Some talent just won't show,

Built by Rennie Mackintosh,
In the Art Nouveau design,
A building of world renown,
Some think of it a shrine,

Building damage wasn't too bad,
Fire and Rescue saved most,
Student's art and Rennie's art,
Didn't end up like burnt toast.

See when you've writ your poem,
And sent it on it's way,
Do you ever go back to it,
Later that same day?

You think you could have done better,
With something else to say,
Or do you put it in the bin,
And throw your pen away.

I sent a poem by e-mail,
But when I looked at what I sent,
The things that were in it,
It wasn't what I meant,

The words were all muddled,
They were all in the wrong place,
I hope they understand,
That I'm not a head case.

So I've got just one question,
Do you think it's too late,
To ask them for the e-mail back,
So I can correct all the mistakes.

Ken a' these auld Scots words,
The wans that we've forgot,
Why are we no using them,
It's because we wernae taught,

At hame wi' mither an fathir,
Speaking all and proper,
First day at school,
Speech becomes a cropper,

All yir mates at school,
Coming oot wi' words like bowff,
Saying them in the hoose,
Yir fathir says watch yir mouth,

Rax me oor the poorie,
As ma grama said to me,
Asking her whit she meant,
Gies the milk jug fir ma tea,

Fab technology today,
Smert phones and iPad,
They missed oot wan thing,
The language o' my grandad,

Skype, that's a new word,
Sounds a bit like Scottish,
Was it tae clip you round the ear hole,
That word should be abolished,

If yir no Scottish,
Rabbie's words are a' daft,
All the words that came out o' him,
That was the man's craft,

Whit aboot these well kent lines,
Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Sorry aboot that Rabbie,
Stealing that was totally misplaced,

Oot o' bed on wi' ma baffies,
Tae pit them on I need tae sit doon
Sittin' on the chair wi' ma bahookie,
Missed the chair fawing like a loon,

When yir oot daein the gowf,
And yir breeks are a' in a runkle,
Dinnae be a feart tae tac them aff,
If you've got them in a fankle,

Deekin oot the windae,
Stramash on the doon the road,
Some folk getting a doin',
Ithers getting a carry code,

Polis got there quick enough,
Must have a been a hunner,
Saw the big yin there,
He was the heid ******,

The rammy wi the radges
Was just oot side the offie,
Jings crivvens help ma boab,
Some went ben the bothy,

We're all **** Tamson's bairns,
We a' just want tae learn,
We can do it wi' the Scots,
It's a language that we yearn.