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Interviewer: Douglas Simpkins, who are you? We don't understand you..the world seems to mis read you..can you tell us in a few words, maybe? Who is Douglas Simpkins?

(Heart beats)
(The sound of writing)

Dear Everyone,

Time has passed. I maybe overthinking this but I can't find my brains top latch
(So my thoughts are out)
You ask "what's that about?"

Let me explain..

I said things, broke things
Never thought I'd become inslaved..
To the monster who's beating inside me
To the ignorance placed in my grave
I done messed up, never confessed up, talk to god now, so maybe I'm blessed up?
But we cool and talk about when I was in school
How I created so many lies, blamed it on a high..
Stabbed so many backs that nobody walked with a spine.
Walk a mile in my shoes? nobody wanted my 9s
Figured Id grow outta my fears and self overtime..
Something happened,
And I gradually found death
I spoke to him as he would glare at me with darkness spewing from his breath
Manipulation at its best
As he grabbed a hold of my chest
Told me "only the good die young"
Put his hand on my pecks and pushed me back to this mess.

(Then what?)

I tried to follow purity,
The constant fight with this monster inside of me!
He wants anger! I just want maturity.
A sense of security.
Maybe that's why I'm so locked down
She thinks I'm being stubborn
But she don't know, I'm just starting to open up and share all about my past now.
****..and I gotta be honest,
I want you to be the one that I endure the longest,
Who accepts me at me at my weakest, supports me at my strongest.

(Let her now kid)

Hiding the truth in these subliminal notes,
Ask myself
If you like her why don't you go after what you desire the most?
Probably because I was a felon in loves convictions
I believe she deserves to enjoy life without pain and loves restrictions.

(Again man!?)

Yeah, I also needed time to break down. Weak knees, lord please, help me feel the force of the ground. The words of the angels and only some can hear the sound.
Ask yourself if you needed help, who the F!ck would be around?
I was stranded in the water and you just watched in an attempt to let me drown!
I survived!
Look at me rise! from all your f@cking let downs!

(Take it easy man)

But I tend to constantly escape, to a world, a beautiful place
Where I can't be judged, I can finally be alone and mediate in my vital space
A mind that represents the ocean, a heart that's the beating sun, a soul that is the sand, and a life that is all I want to become.


(That's beautiful)

Because we all have a story
Not one makes less sense.
I took a gun to misery, blasted the ****t outta it
Walked away and left that ***** for dead.
This is me. I can't make this up for your amusement
My words are the bullets, excuse me as I reload my weaPEN.

(Doug, calm down!)

Chill man, I told you I'm grown now and have full control.
I just speak with alotta passion and that don't go away even as you get old.
This my story and they wouldn't believe me if it wasn't properly told
I was a beast, a loose bullett that could **** a person with one shot..stare em down and spit a venom so cold.
But I apologize for it all and taking ya down this road...

(Hands shaking)

I prospered from myself and learned to hold my own.
Stick with me now and please embrace my change. Help me write my story and turn a new page.
Goals can be made, I never heard there ever had to be a certain age.
Giving you my all now and hope ya will accept my best
But still look back once in a while...
So that I'll never forget.

(Oh my god)

Also, had to go back to the lab, reconnect and draw up some new plans
And by the way, you can't know who Doug is...when it's really Bland.
Amen.

(Stopped writing)

Interviewer: I have no words. Thank you.
Haven't written like this in years
(Aye Dougie, Dougie you aight kid? Dougie!)

(Fade into me singing)

Imma tell the truth and the whole truth, cause there ain't no need to lie, and I ain't tryna keep it all inside...so I gotta testify for you and I...I testify..

Why lie! Maybe it's every guy, who's left her deprived, of every lost  moment she holds inside.
Baby, don't hide, don't cry, I promise I'm so different
It's her strength, it's my pain keeping us so disant
So much resistance
Yet, we're a perfect match
We left eachother once, but destiny brought us back
Cause you're stubborn, so am I
But girl, over time
You'll see what we do for eachother is unlike anything that rhymes,
the melody matches and sounds smooth...
Why can't I be her main dude?
I'm tryna get to know you
Please help me get through
I know it's easier to walk alone, but
Babe let me walk with you.

(Time to talk Dougie)

It seems fools never know what they want
and the certain think they can get what they can't have
I like her. I want her. I miss her.
Now tell me, is that truly something bad?
to be hoping to see her name as you wait on a "good morning" text
missing the way she would lay in your arms without any intentions of trying to have ***.
It was the feelings of having someone who just wanted you around.
It's the feeling we all search for, right? being wanted, thought about...picked up when you're down.
The feeling you can't control and never see coming
I just needed to say this ****t out loud, it was time for me to say something..

(Paused moment)

Crazy that was about a month ago..

Why must a good thing never last?
mine hit me like a blind sided accident...I guess I didn't look and she was going fast.
The past is now the past.
I wish I could trade in all the chances I missed, to help make something I truly enjoyed, last.

(Inner thoughts! Get her, dougie)

She's a wish after the candle, the angel you can't handle, a promise you want to keep, perfection...amazing in every angle.
Independent and doesn't need ya
One of a kind and a keeper,
Girl look in the mirror, you're a prize
If he ain't right, better leave em

(Phase 2, lil more Dougie)

****, I didn't want her to think I was just like every other man...
Wanted to be more than just a moment in her plans.
But I confess up, I messed up, let my heart just take over.
Should of slowed up the pace, kept that smile on her face... the old me is what sold her.

(What else?)

I remember every moment, every smile, every thing and hope you know I have nothing but the up most respect.
You've taught me so much more than you'd ever know, all amazing things and I wouldn't expect anything less.
Sorry for not being better than your past... more tranquility, less stress
I just want you to always find peace, passion and happiness...with your career, your life and all the good that may come next. (even love)
what else would you expect?

(**** kid)

Just remember people
If something made you truly happy, you should never have any regrets.


(Finish to her, kid)

Never hesitate from giving your all...more individuals would be happy today if they dropped their pride

"I don't miss her, I don't want her, I don't care...let her go"

(What!?)

Please, Oh Yeah,
p.s; I lied.

(Knew that wasn't true, hope you get her kid)
Imma keep trying. Maybe one day but know than time is the essence and patience is the perfect ingredient to every perfect receipt. I'm unlike anyone you know and I'm not tryna prove **** to you...I just want you in my life because I know what we so for eachother. If I can't...I understand just promise me that we can remain close and you only accept a better man.
)I Testify)
Love
        Life
Live
        In
            Life

Sayings
         ­    Are
                   Easy
Standing
               Is
                  Hard
Everything
                   Is
                      Possible
For
     Mankind
If we try
 Oct 2014 Raj Arumugam
ryn
Journey
 Oct 2014 Raj Arumugam
ryn
Sun to set, to herald the arrival of my moon
Prepare my vessel for an odyssey, golden mast and all
Best be on my way, best be soon...
Done this a hundred times come every nightfall

This night, I wish it different, wish it otherwise
My head isn't where it's supposed to be
Swimming in the clouds, in the star spangled sky
Speaking of plans to which the heart would agree

Time is now, it's time to finally drift away
Let go of all worldly trepidations
Hold all unfounded apprehensions at bay
Be brave to pursue fantastical notions

This journey ahead, I want to immortalise
Don't think I'd want to turn back
Leave behind the pillow stifled cries
With the moon as my guide across an ocean of black

"Close your eyes and just feel the drift
Know that the stars are protectively watching
Picture your moon; her hands bearing a gift
A gift you'd soon receive, after much longing"

"Feel the water, like a thousand hands propping you afloat
Passing you over to more hands that lay ahead
Lurching forward gently, this ethereal boat
Rest now upon your giant floating bed"


I took that leap of faith... I'm sailing
Cresting and bobbing towards my moon
I hear the stars for they are singing
Lulling me by with a celestial tune

On my way, now on this nighttime adventure
Don't think I'll ever look back
Together this night would span forever
Floating endlessly in a sea of black
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