Finally,
experiencing the serenity
i've always hoped for earnestly
feeling that rush of air against  face
where eyes could roam in a vast space
the feel of wind to brush against skin
And the sight of trees to breathe in...

But, my feet brought me  here...
why in front of these  rows of stores?
never thought of stopping
to do some impulse shopping...
do i pamper myself with new stuff?
there's no need for a new scent,
with what i have, i am very much content.

There is no smile, no comfort,
seeing these attractions...
there are no reactions......
but, eyes are now seeking...
been unconsciously looking
for something that is unexplainable,
in denial, the mind is, it says: inconceivable...

There, among the shelves...
the search would shortly end...

An image of my face appeared on a mirror
passed by, then suddenly sprung out,
a swish of a shaped light
beside my own face
a passing thought of an image...
it made me smile,
the fog fading, the face, clearing a bit...

When it is within me, this presence,
everywhere, there springs exuberance
it is felt...needing space
not just a shadow, not just a trace...
to bring home, to be with ...
to end this seeking
to end this longing...

Too cumbersome, this weight..
too much to take for one.
there, among those shelves,
nothing could satisfy,
nothing could fill this empty space...
for some reason,  i feel, i know......
i must live on...i must move on
without this face, this presence,
this unattainable existence,
and yet, i must try,
i must still be able to smile....


Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

"...from dust thou art..."

It was one peaceful evening we were having,
ruined by a message; distasteful and disturbing,
a misunderstanding? no, never had been..
.but it had always been the easy way out...
it was an overflow of misunderstood courage...
someone  shouldn't have had the face,
but really had the chutzpah to reach out...
one that stood up to the last moment
to gird, to break, to wreck.....and won...
to be...to feel they belong,
this, could be allowed no longer...
this must...has got to stop...

here comes the CLOAK of non-acceptance,
it quickly spreads overhead,
but repugnance PERFORATES!

to be duped anew,
ah, brings back to life old hatred,
for those who think they know better,
but never again, to swim in bad blood...
feelings to be repeatedly exploited,
this, can no longer be allowed....
this...has got to stop...

ashes that were hidden,
ashes that were forbidden,
ashes i didn't feel like seeing
an urn of ashes i firmly refused to hold,
ashes i firmly refused to be anywhere near me.
and now, they suddenly ask,
where to take the forsaken urn?
they can just pollute the river
let the ashes flow with the current...
or, be indifferently blown by the wind
atop a mountain...
for God's sake, why not just buy a vault for the urn?
give the ashes the much-needed peace it longed for..
and let those who were once denied and deprived,
have their own share of much needed peace...

ashes may be carried away
by the sea or the wind---
but there's only one known place:
to the ground we all go,
cremated or otherwise...
so, why fuss on where the ashes should go?
"From dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return."


   Sally
Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan


Biblical quote, from Genesis 3:19*'
"Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return."

Still awake at half past midnight
Thanking God, there are no snore-y sounds tonight.
Up in the sky, above the dark horizon
there's  an ivory circle that peeks
from outside the window.
A perfectly round moon proudly shines on me...
Sends one's mind to a journey,
to a magical world called poetry
Where I am now seated comfortably ..
but why am I back to what keeps me awake at night?
Stealing precious hours of sleep...
etched in my mind...it surely is...
A face that has invaded my whole person
A name that can never be disregarded
or deleted...
Lines, words keep leaping
Out of my brain,
Urging me to record them all
In my head and on paper...
I reach for pen and paper,
wait, wait...I sense a distraction,
A diversion...
In the dark, I take a glimpse
shifting my eyes
towards the sky,
admiring the glow,
concentrating,
shocking myself further,
for, from my lips,
a tune suddenly burst forth:

"I see the moon and
The moon sees me
God bless the moon
And God bless me
Please let the light
That shines on me
Shine on the one I love..."

A kid's song, from long ago,
a fervent prayer it has become,
begging the One above...
a plea, for the one I love....

Not at all a distraction.....
For it has set free my good intention...

(March 16, 2014)

Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan


*I was a child last night, just scribbling, drawing moons, toying with words, lines and unfinished poems...
......not very deep thoughts from a playful child, on a playful night, but enjoyed every moment of it......

---a cheese-tasting cat? or a cat-tasting cheese? no, of course not!
             ---it is a cat named after a kind of cheese---

      
A picture of the late kitty, Scheppes,
appears on the computer,
she still, is the chosen wall paper...
she once ruled  the place, and
the heart of her master...
she was so adorable,
everyone must have dwelt on the thought,
she is irreplaceable...
but wait.....
what is this heap on the table
carelessly scattered,  sprawled?
a child's  coat?
with black stripes over gray fur?
what are these glowing,
green crystal buttons?

aha! suddenly, there is movement!
it is alive!

head and paws, now are visible,
green crystal buttons have turned
to emerald-eyes, now piercing,
glowing even more...
she shows her white vest underneath,
standing on her two paws,
clinging tighter to her master's feet...
to him, she softly purrs,
communicating in whispers,
staring over-confidently,
glaring eyes, slitting eyes
accompanying her every meow...
obviously, she feels contented,
lazily, peacefully slouched now,
between the keyboard
and her master...
young still,  naughty,
the house seems small to her whims,
too obsessed at times with Q-Tips,
sleepy after all her mischief,
seeming lethargic at times,
always savoring that feeling of peace,
happiness, she once didn't have...
for she has now found a new home,
she has found a new master to love,
one who would surely love her in return...

her name is B R I E ...*



Sally

Copyright 2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan

and I loved it...
the efficacy,
the efficiency,
obeying, used,
the being used
to muse,
all in one word,
verbed and j'accused,
identifying the culpritess
(for my M-use is
definitively a woman),

I say:
Please baby,
Please bossy,
Please sir,
muse me some more?

M-use me, use-me,
accuse-me, heck,
abuse-me,
my tongue, my lips,
(especially, my lips)
your devoted
poet-servant.

give me spiel,
words to make
them laugh,
groan and squeal,
do me baby,
one mo' time,
the big reveal.

you know I am
exclusive to you,
others get my body,
but only you
get my
my poetic

streams of screams

things I can
never confess,
peeve but at the hinted
whisper of them,
things that weaken me,
in the places
where poems
umbilically
die stillborn,

the chord
connecting
just us two,
it, that chord,
wrapped round
my throat
choking off
my special voice,
cause you want
just those words,
My Muse,
all for yourself

and I can't say no
to
My Muse,
My Conscience

The man that never quite stop loving her.

In a flurry of hair and crimson cheeks,

"Why?"

He pauses and smiles a smile that he very well knows
it will never flicker the same on her lips.

"That's not the point, I simply love you with
no expectations;
one where
your heart takes the same fall as mine."

*Except that my outstretched fingertips
will catch
yours.

The moon light rippled
across the sea.
A shine full of
might that burned against the
swells as quiet as dust.

The waves crashed and
Poseidon laughed as I rested
the bottle against
my teeth.

I smiled for
the moment
then drank for
the ages.

Stones shifted with the
tide,gentle and sometimes
as silent as mice.

Shine I said as another
tear tumbled and  my minds
eye flashed a far off memory
that
I came here to try
and forget.

The Pacific came and
went,sometimes
with a fury and
other times in
that silence only something
as deadly as the sea could produce.

I took a pull as
another sin filled
Gull cried his
curses into the wind.

Only I and the Gods
were listening as the
hiss of the receding
sea swirled
between the maze of
stones
that made up the
thriving silent life
filled tide pools.

I looked to the heavens
and realized in that
moving moment beneath the
stars.
That I would
either go completely
crazy here or leave
this place a Saint.