First time I saw you reminds me of flowers.
The moment I smell you it feels like I was in my garden.

You being fragile makes me want to protect you.
Just like a flower you can easily crushed.

Sometimes I can't even protect you to myself.
I hate myself for breaking you.

I can't even stop myself from loving you.
I love you and its not revelation.

I see your imperfection yet I still accept it.
You are still dashing beautiful.

I know you are looking for man not a woman.
Even if you ignore me and break my heart I can't even get over you.

He is gayish but a good friend.
I fell in love with a flower man.

I saw a world in your eyes
Broken pillars, dilapidated buildings
Dead batteries, and broken ceilings.
I saw a painful burning empty sky
I saw little boys and girls cry
I saw all losses no winning,
Children death and soldier killings
I saw the pain inside your eyes.

I held you together from crumbling
And as the skies started to clear up
I saw volcanos reverse erupt
And the ground wasn't rumbling.
In my arms, you saw a future with me
And all I could see the seeds of a new tree.

I'm still afraid
       I can remember every detail
Of how my childhood derailed.
      I remember the last moments
He was in the hospital bed
      I could remember mum being there
As he lost more than just his hair
      I could remember his cousin
Rapidly pressing the emergency button
      I could remember the nurses yells
He was too sickly to hold a smile
      But I could remember his eyes
As they start to turn white
      And the shine start to taper off.
Mum in tears held my hand
      As he breathes his final breath.

I don't tell people
      Simply because it isn't a fun story
But I remember every detail
      And I tell people I've forgotten.

Another time I remember seeing him
      Hunched over the sink combing his hair
His once filled thick hair head
       Reduced to tiny fuzz of what it was.

I don't tell people these stories
        I tell them of my fun life
I tell them everything good
        I make jokes constantly
And I tell myself I've forgotten.
        Forgotten every detail...

People tell me I should refer to him
        As dad.
But sadly I have no real fond memories.
        And even with a full retention memory
I have no memories
         Of any quality father son moments.

I was made different,
Same brain, same race,
But I was different.
Same smile, same face,
But something was different.
I could never speak in sibilance,
Stuttering stressed sounds and somehow,
Learning to live with who I am now.

My parents told me to value honour and integrity,
But come eighteen years of age, they came begging me,
To fall on my knees and kiss the *** of my overlords,
Between finding me and growing up, I lost my vocal chords,
Never able to project my thoughts,
Because I was to afraid of projecting a rejected side of society,
I wasn't really being me.

I was like a car losing its tyres almost edging its rims,
I had all control over my working limbs,
But I never had a control of my voice and it seems,
That somehow as I grew up I started to fit into seams,
Never the thread to stick out from the patterns,
Always be the one to stand back and watch the shattered,
Picking up the pieces of their lives scattered.

I watched people fall like flies and flies fall like pollen,
And from all of it, the message that I have always gotten,
'Humans will never be perfect',
But it doesn't matter, perfection is mere mortals exaggeration,
Of what it really means to be you.
We live under the same sky, same blue,
So being perfect, simply means being you,
Able to voice your words and keep true,
That the message you're upholding is alive, because of you.
**You are you,
And you are perfect.

The baby let out a scream,
WAHHHHH! no tears just sounds,
Oh how the baby was full of dreams,
Able to get anything she wanted it seems,
From the fish in the oceans to the fish in the seas,
And she couldn't even barely see...

The above part,
Was not of a demanding baby,
Nor a crying annoying baby,
But of a mothers heart.
A mothers heart,
Where gold sets apart,
And messages that impart,
Love can be shown at the start...
Drenched in sadness but never lacked a laugh,
She held her baby in her arms and continued the path,
Where creatures were under beds,
And monsters were in her head,
She held her baby in her arms and continue the path,
Where monsters hid in closets,
And baby lifted above her head like rockets,
With barely any strength or muscle in her arms,
She kept the baby from all the harm,
And made her soar into the sky like a rocket.

Indicative for the baby to figure out,
That in all certainty and without a doubt,
A baby can soar for its dreams,
And so it somehow seems,
Babies grow up to be people ,
Who are able to now see,
Just like you and me.

I hope you miss me
The way I miss you

But I also hope you don't
Because I am miserable
And you deserve more