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14.7k · Mar 2016
Your Not In Love With Her.
Holly Mar 2016
If yelling at her in an argument doesn't make your throat burn like you just downed 6 shots,
you don't love her.
If her eyes can't make you stop in your tracks and think about what you're about to say next,
you're not in love with her.
If her laugh doesn't make you tense up your knuckles thinking about never hearing it again,
you're not in love with her.
If her voice can't calm you're worst anxiety attacks and makes you want to listen to anything she has to say,
you're not in love with her.
If her smile doesn't make you're chest quake and your lungs shrink but feel refreshed all in one motion,
you're not in love with her.
If her taking off her clothes is when you pay the most attention to her, you're not in love with her.
10.0k · Feb 2015
A Raindrop
Holly Feb 2015
A
Drop
Of rain is
Like a sudden
Knock at the door.
Unexpected, yet often
Welcomed with a smile, it
Can brighten your day or ruin
Your plans. It can make you laugh
Or make you sad. Whether the raindrop
Is moving fast or slow, or is big or small,
It always gets everyone's attention. A rain-
Drop contains many secrets.  It is a bubble of
Anticipation and surprise. It cleanses the earth,
It feeds the flowers, And fills the holes. The  
Raindrop is never silent, it bangs on the
Roof, Spatters on the windows or,
Splashes into a puddle.
A Raindrop.
5.8k · Jan 2016
I Follow My Dreams...
Holly Jan 2016
I get laughed at,
I get ignored,
I often feel trapped,
and keep my thoughts stored.
People can be cruel and very mean,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams

Life has waves,
I know that.
But I stand brave,
and just take the crap.
I may feel exhausted and totally creamed,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams.

I know what I want,
and I won't stop trying.
Quitting? I can't,
for now I'm flying.
It's impossible, it seems,
but no matter what,
I follow my dreams...
4.2k · Jan 2015
You Mean So Much To Me<3
Holly Jan 2015
You are the thought that starts each morning,
The conclusion to each day.
I think of you with all I do,
And everything I say.

You are the smile on my face,
The twinkle in my eye.
The warmth inside my heart,
The fullness in my life.

The only hand that is part of mine,
The coat upon my back.
My friend and love you have my soul,
I never will turn back.

You are the dimple in my cheek,
The tingle in my soul.
The voice that makes me weak,
You're the one that makes me whole.

You are all that I have ever wanted,
and all that I will need.
You are all that I think of,
You mean so much to me.
To My Best Friend Tierane Jackson
I  Love Her Soooo Much!
4.2k · Feb 2015
Welcome To My World Of Lies.
Holly Feb 2015
Slit your wrist,
Cut your thighs,
Fake a smile,
Dry your eyes,
Hate yourself,
Hate your life,
Welcome to my world of lies.
3.5k · Jan 2015
She Doesn't Know I love Her
Holly Jan 2015
When did my feelings get so deep
Why did they take that big long leap
Going from friend to crush
What a rush
And I don't think she knows

Since when did her smile make me go weak
Since when did her tears make mine start to leak
Why does this happen when I'm always so strong
When people called me Superman I guess they were wrong
And I don't think she knows

When she talks I cant help but watch her lips
To notice their shape and curves when they dip
Wait, why am I looking? I don't even know
And I cant help but wonder if she even knows

Her beautiful eyes are nothing like ours
They're so deep and bright you'd believe they were stars
They pour forth emotions in raging rivers
They could make even me believe that Santa always delivers
And still she has no idea

Her body is perfection though she denies it
It makes my head spin with every glance I give
She could put any man under her spell
But she doesn't know how I feel and I don't think I'll tell

I love how she looks and who she is
And how she makes me feel like this
I love how she's beautiful and smart with a heart so strong
And how she lives every day like nothing could go wrong
Still she hasn't got a clue

Now school is at an end on the 11th at noon
I wonder if she cares that I'm moving soon
We're parting that day after schools many months
I just wish I could have kissed her just once

Now that I've said it with my poetic skill
I don't think she knew, and now she never will
2.5k · Feb 2015
Stop Being Insecure!
Holly Feb 2015
Why me?
Why would i fall for you?
Every time i see you.
Its just beauty in my eyes...
Beauty, like never before...
Beauty you don't recognize yourself.
Your so insecure but yet beautiful.
I don't understand.
And i want you to not be insecure.
There are people that would **** for your looks.
I mean,
I would.
2.4k · Jan 2015
Suicide.
Holly Jan 2015
Why try suicide?
Suicide is not a good thing.
When you commit suicide.
There are lots of things you should think of,
Like, your family & friends.
You don't know how many people would die if you did.?
There are many.
And if you have dealt with family or friends committing suicide.
How did you feel when they died.?
Did you feel sad, mad, or depressed?
Well if you did.
Would you want your family or friends to go through that?
If you really didn't like them you would,
But i'm pretty sure, that most of you wouldn't.
But would you feel bad if you died and your family and friends were depressed, sad, or mad.?
I would.
I know sometimes i want to commit suicide.
But deep down.
I just cant.
My family loves me. (even though sometimes i feel they don't.)
My friends love me. (even though sometimes i feel they don't.)
But. I guess it's whatever.
But,
Why try **suicide
2.1k · Feb 2016
"Depression"
Holly Feb 2016
Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. Also called major depressive disorder or clinical depression, it affects how you feel, think and behave and can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may have trouble doing normal day-to-day activities, and sometimes you may feel as if life isn't worth living.
2.0k · Feb 2015
I Want To Be Your Favorite
Holly Feb 2015
Your favorite hug,
Your favorite mall  date,
Your favorite night,
Your favorite cuddle,
Your favorite kiss,
Your favorite Girlfriend.
(:
2.0k · Feb 2015
I'm Tired
Holly Feb 2015
I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of yelling.
I'm tired of being sad.
I'm tired of pretending.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of being angry.
I'm tired of feeling crazy.
I'm tired of feeling stuck.
I'm tired of needing help.
I'm tired of remembering.
I'm tired of missing things.
I'm tired of being different.
I'm tired of missing people.
I'm tired of feeling worthless.
I'm tired of feeling empty inside.
I'm tired of not being able to just let go.
I'm tired of wishing i could just start over.
I'm tired  of dreaming of a life i will never have.
But  Most  Of  All,  I'm  Just  Tired  Of  Being  **Tired
#exploding
1.9k · Jan 2015
I'm Worthless
Holly Jan 2015
For all the people that have loved me, or even cared,
I'm worthless...
I have a dramatic  life,
I fall in love with people i will never have.
I have lots of people that i don't know that hate me,
I have lots of stupid things about me.
I always have drama,  (most of the time i put myself in it.)
I'm so, worthless.
1.9k · Mar 2015
Falling.
Holly Mar 2015
Falling in  love  is awfully simple,
But,
Falling out of love is Simply awful.
1.8k · Feb 2015
Cuts
Holly Feb 2015
Cuts heal,
The memories stay,
Scars fade,
But i'm not okay.
Holly Mar 2015
Rain, rain, go away,
Because of you the pain will stay.
Slit my throat, cut out my heart,
Leave me here, tear it apart.

Poison tears stream down my face,
My heart beats at a steady pace
As I try to stand again;
Alone and standing in the rain.

I don't need you anymore...
Is what I think while tears pour.
I hate you like I hate my life;
But love is what cuts like a knife.

Love is death and death is you;
Its pain stains like a black tattoo.
Those memories come back again
And bind me in the ropes of pain.

Crimson blood streams down my head
Like a long, silk ribbon, tied by a thread,
To a platinum bullet, a hole in my skull...

...Now just a memory that's faded and dull.
1.4k · Apr 2016
You've Got To Love Yourself.
Holly Apr 2016
Kid, you've got to love yourself.
You've gotta wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee,
And stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn.
You've got to sit next to the man on the train station who's reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You've got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you've got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You've got to stop taking everything so ******* personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You've got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You've got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that wont matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You've got to stop worrying about what you're going to tell her when she finds out. You've got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You've got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. **** it. Love yourself, kiddo. You've got to love yourself.
1.4k · Feb 2015
My 2 Personality's.
Holly Feb 2015
Getting obsessive about your weight?
"Your disgusting." She said to the mirror.
I was tortured everyday  by food.
Memories never die.
I'm not  pretty.
Not only am i fat, i'm stupid too.
So i don't eat.
"Fat pig! Stop eating!"
Fattening.
Memories never die.
I cannot  be "normal."
I truly hate myself.
"Eating makes me feel worse."
I just don't want to be fat anymore.
Thinner and Thinner.
Skin and Bones.
Feasting on  hunger.
My sadness had  returned.
Fat, fat, fat.
My thighs are also too big.
There's nothing left but to  die...
Little parallel slashes.
Does my stomach stick out.?
Do my thighs jiggle.?
Cut,starve, cut, starve, cut.
"******* cow! Greedy pig!"
The violent hatred of  fat.
I'm  tired  of me.
Have you  eaten?
Actively suicidal.
Eating disorders are addictive.
I'd rather starve.
I just don't feel  like eating.
Silent tears.
I know i'm ugly, Don't look  at me.
And i began to  cry again.
"You look like a pig."
I  have scars.
Eating less and less.
Don't let me get  fat.
Mirrors can **** and talk.
"Who's the fat freak?"
Calories scare me.
"Stop stuffing your fat face."
I  can't believe i'm so fat.
Loneliness, Depression, Anxiety.
"Thinner, it said. You need to get thinner."
Horrible dreams.
She killed herself deliberately.
It's  a secret i plan to take to my grave.
Low self-esteem.
I feel so heavy.
I feel so huge and bloated.
Sad and Tired.
She cried about what she had just eaten.
"Your fat jiggles!"
Fat body.
Decrease my  food intake.
I can't eat it.
She doesn't eat.
1.3k · Jan 2015
Scarlet Tears
Holly Jan 2015
Fires ablaze within my eyes,
A smile concealing all my lies,
Screaming, begging, calling out,
A final, frantic, desperate, shout.

Scarlet tears drip from each vein,
A vehement covet to end this pain,
This silver blade, stays by my side,
Because all hope inside has died.

As each day ends, and darkness draws,
The devil toys, with all my flaws,
I'm helpless, alone, a worthless mess,
A broken child, he must address.

I'm tempted when he calls my name,
A way out, an escape, an end to shame,
To make it feel a lot less real,
A deal with the Devil, in blood must I seal.

They'll say I died of suicide,
But no one knows how much they've lied,
It wasn't a rope, a blade, or pills,
That broke my soul, and gave me chills.

I died inside so long before,
To live each day, an endless chore,
Pills could not **** what was already dead,
A twisted soul, an empty head.

In darkness I wait, in silence, alone,
Rose-tinted nostalgia, all around me has grown,
I beckon the devil, with the key of self-harm,
And I open the door for him, with the blood of my arm.
1.3k · Apr 2016
Text i Never Sent
Holly Apr 2016
I love you
I love you
I really ******* love you
And you don't love me and that's okay i guess
Because in the end you are still my best friend
And i just want you to be happy
Even if its not with me
And i think your the greatest person in the world
And you put yourself down
Oh god your smile is beautiful
And your eyes are stunning
And i love you
And i'm sorry for that.
1.2k · Jan 2015
You Didn't Love Her.
Holly Jan 2015
You didn't love her.
You just didn't want to be alone
Or maybe, maybe she was
just good for your ego
Or maybe she made you feel better
about your miserable life.
But you  didn't love her.
Because you don't destroy people you
**"Love"
1.2k · Apr 2016
That should be me.
Holly Apr 2016
That should be me,
Kissing your lips.
That should be me,
Buying you gifts.
That should be me,
Holding your hand.
That should be me,
Making you laugh.
1.2k · Jan 2015
Strong, And Wrong.
Holly Jan 2015
I always hear " You are strong"
But that strong turns to Wrong,
And I hear a song,
It has some wrong,
You are strong,
But why not wrong?
Because,
They say im strong, but im wrong,
I cant stay strong,
Ohh, but you can my darling,
But When i try strong,
My heart turns wrong, i pick up the silver wrong,
sometimes strong,
Ohh, My darling stay strong.
#helped @brokeninside
1.1k · Jan 2015
Fake.
Holly Jan 2015
Fake smiles,
Fake laughs,
Fake heart,
Fake personality,
Fake human,
Fake me,
So yeah, Fake is me.
1.1k · Mar 2015
Everybodys Second Choice.
Holly Mar 2015
It ***** always feeling like the
"Second choice"
But i am the sceond choice
For everything though.
Im the second choice for my friends,
My sister, my mother, my cousin, and
You too.
Even though you always tell me im not.
You should stop trying to make me feel
Better,
Because we both know your lying,
Im just going to need to face  the facts,
And accept it.
1.1k · Oct 2015
:(
Holly Oct 2015
:(
And one night I feel asleep waking up to see
A girl like me in the paper's headline
"Another teen dies" because her life was full of lies,
Her heart was tied.
And her brain had died.
A life that depression and sadness bought.
Now she's in the sky up high.
Shes now happy, as you see
The sky is where she wanted to be...
1.1k · Mar 2015
Nights At 2am
Holly Mar 2015
Most nights
At 2am
I wonder
Where i'll be in
Five
Ten
Fifteen
Years.

Other nights
At 2am
I wonder
If i'll make it that far.
1.0k · Mar 2015
Cutters Lullaby.
Holly Mar 2015
Go to sleep, Close your eyes,
Dream of broken butterflies
That tore their wing against a thorne.
You know the pain that  they have borne.

Silver medal, shines so bright
Scarlette blood, that feels so right.
Dream of that blood trickling down,
And wake up just before you drown.

The moonlights shining off your tears,
As you bleed your own worst fears,
So tonight when you start to cry,
Whisper the cutters lullaby.

Hushabye baby, your almost dead.
You dont have a pulse and your pillow is red.
Your family hates you, your friends let you bleed.
Sleep tight with a knife because thats all you need.

Rockabye baby, broken and scarred,
You didnt know that  life would be this hard.
Time to end the pain you hid so well,
And down will come baby, straight back to hell.
Not written by me!
1.0k · Feb 2015
Teachers
Holly Feb 2015
I wonder if
Teachers ever realize
That some of
The students sitting
In their class
Have serious
Mental  Illnesses
And are collapsing
Under pressure they
Put on them.
1.0k · Feb 2015
.-.
Holly Feb 2015
.-.
I was your Cure,
You were my Disease,


I was saving  you,
You were killing  **me.
1.0k · Mar 2015
You
Holly Mar 2015
You
I look at you
And i can see it in your face.
You think you can hide it,
But i see you.

I see the hurt,
The dark circles beneath your eyes.
And the quiet plea
Dancing on your bottom lip,
Too afraid to be voiced
Too afraid to be heard
Because your too afraid to be hurt.

And i just want to take you and
Wrap you up in my arms
Hold you, console you
Tell you things you'll believe.
But you don't seem to believe
Anything anymore.
Because you have been deceived
Far too many times.

So i'll just look at you
And see the pain in your fake smile,
And i'll smile back
And i'll hear the attempted deception
When you tell me your just tired,
I'll say me too.

I know your broken inside,
I can see it in your lies.

Roses are red,
Your wrist are too
Violets are blue,
And so are you.
1.0k · Feb 2015
I Love You!
Holly Feb 2015
I love  you.  
No matter if your,
Lesbian,
Gay,
Transgender,
Pansexual,
Heterosexual,
Mentall­y Ill,
Physically Ill,
There are so many things i don't care. But it don't matter I Love you!
Bullies are stupid.
Your BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
993 · Jan 2015
Does This Mean Something?
Holly Jan 2015
Does the late  night chats?
You telling me you love me?
The kisses?
The jacket?
Me loving you?
My best friend being mad at me because of you?
Me getting a headache from the smoke smell on your jacket,
But its worth it right??
Does this all mean something?
-Hopefully.
Holly Jan 2015
Pills, Pills, And More Pills.
As my life moves on,
More diseases come along,
My journey  is soon to end,
But more, and more will be fed.
920 · Jan 2015
To Chastity,
Holly Jan 2015
Oh yes,
The past can hurt.
But, you can either run
from it,
Or learn from it.
876 · Mar 2015
The Sad Truth.
Holly Mar 2015
The chaotic noise inside the class,
The live chit chat that every group has.
Yes, another semester is at hand,
Another great year is about to land.
Friends hug like there's no tomorrow,
Happiness is in, no more sorrow.
I see new people walk inside the room,
New batches of friends are about to bloom.
But one person caught my attention,
A girl with this kind of perfection,
Walks like a model on a runway,
A girl that stole my heart away.
Her eyes sparkle like the stars above,
That look she gives me that I really love.
Her smile that takes my breath away,
I know that I won't let her slip away.
I want to tell her what I really feel,
Wanting to tell her that this is real.
Oh, this feeling that I hate,
A feeling that would not obliterate.
Want to know about the sad truth?
That there will never be a "me and you."
Yes, that is the sad truth
That you'll never say you like me too.
But shes the only one for you,
It will only be "You and her"
The Sad Truth,
I will never be able to tell this,
But its one thing i want to tell.
#To #A #Special #Someone
Holly Mar 2015
You are not mine,
But sometimes i pretend
You wish you were.

I create this idea
That you secretly
Want me...

And i often forget
Its just something
Ive made up.

You do not want me,
And you are not mine.
To Someone i wish was mine.
866 · Jun 2015
Break.
Holly Jun 2015
I often carry
On so much
Anger and sadness
That when something
Small goes wrong.
I break, and it
Makes people
Think i'm crazy.
But you know whats
Even more crazy?
Caring on all that
Without knowing
Which or who's
Direction to aim it at.
861 · Jan 2015
:'(
Holly Jan 2015
:'(
When you look at  me what do you see?
You see a girl that likes to make jokes,
You see a girl that likes fun,
You see a girl that likes other girls,
You see a girl that hates to see people cry,
You see a girl that has bad grades,
You see a girl  that has not many friends,

Lets Tell You How I Really Feel,

What you dont see is a girl who is dying,
What you dont see is a girl who cuts,
What you dont see is a girl who is bullied,
What  you dont see is a girl who takes pills,
What you dont see is a girl who trys to hard,
What you dont see is a girl who soon cant take it no more.
857 · Sep 2015
2 Friends....
Holly Sep 2015
my friends
aren't you supposed to comfort me?

my friends
aren't you supposed to stick with me?

my friends
aren't you supposed to back me up?

my friends
why do you tell lies about me to your friends and family

my friends
why do you spread rumors about me?

my friends
why do you ignore me?

my friends
why do you never call me back?

my friends
why do you ditch me for the next best thing?

aren't friends supposed to be buds?
to stick together?

to laugh at each others' jokes?

but no

my friends
all you do is mock me

my friends
the only thing you do is put me down

I had only two friends

my friends?
no

I have no friends
836 · Mar 2015
Middle School
Holly Mar 2015
They really don't see
how much this effects me.
I tell them over and over again
but they just don't want to listen.

They laugh and they giggle
and tell the whole world
YEAH! that's because their
the typical popular girl.

When I put them in their place
they go and be two faced.
Middle school ***** I hope
in high school I will have better luck.

All the drama
the haters,
backstabbers, and liars
you got to pick your friends
like you are walking on fire.

I used to have one good friend
that was there till the end
then she got a boyfriend
and now its a never again.

All the guys,
the lies,
the rumors,
and the facts
karmas a *****
so you better step back.

Shouting things that don't
need to be shouted.
Finding a true friend,
Ah ha I doubt it.

Screaming in you face
just want to kick their ***,
do it
your done
now walk away with some class.

Flirting is not so bad
It's a sigh of affection.
Fighting in the hallways
Automatic DETENTION!

Walking around
all alone
gives you time to think
all the strength you've grown.

Now that I'm stronger
I'll fight and defend
because I'm a true friend
and will always be there in the End.
832 · Jan 2015
Waves
Holly Jan 2015
Missing
You
Comes
In
Waves
And
Today
I'm
Drownding.
831 · Feb 2015
:P
Holly Feb 2015
:P
I
      Want
                    To
                             Touch
                                            You
                                                         Beyond
                                                                             Your
                                                                                           Skin.
810 · Feb 2015
Blaming Myself
Holly Feb 2015
And yes,
I will keep blaming myself.
Cause why would anyone
Want to be with someone
As ****** up as
Me.
801 · Mar 2015
Chastity
Holly Mar 2015
There is a girl that everyone knows
Beautiful grin, no worries or woes
Laugh is one you'll never forget
She's living in her past debt
She hates her body, says she is fat
She shouldn't hate herself, but doesn't know that
She's the girl with the biggest smile
Nobody knows she forces up bile
Feels worthless, ugly, abandoned, wasted
No one knows the tears she has tasted
Cries herself to sleep at night
But smiles again once it is bright
She pulls the blade across her skin
Takes comfort in the pain she's in
She loves the sight of her own blood
She wants to see the beautiful flood
She once said she wished she was dead
She meant it, wasn't just in her head
This is the girl that nobody knows
Inside her walls she's forever enclosed
I love you!!!!!!!!!!
768 · Apr 2016
I was.
Holly Apr 2016
"I never thought of them as lovers; they were
Poems ready to pitch themselves off the edge.
I was their sign to danger.
I was the last few sentences of a suicide note left on the counter on a Sunday morning.
I was an emergency siren screaming and no one noticed.
I was silent sugar sweet and no one could see they were using me to give themselves cavities.
I was simply the white lighter left in the pocket of a boy who never came home."
752 · Mar 2015
What Hurts The Most
Holly Mar 2015
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don€™t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
Im not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend Im OK
But thats not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin€™ to do

It€™s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But Im doin It
It€™s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and Im alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin€™ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say (much to say)
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do, oh.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say (to say)
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
Thats what I was trying to do
One  of the ONLY country music i listen to
748 · Apr 2016
Difference
Holly Apr 2016
He only whispers i love you
As he slips his hands
Down the waistband
Of your pants
This is where you must
Understand the difference
Between want and need
You may want that boy
But you certainly
Don't need him.
740 · Jan 2015
Names & Bullies.
Holly Jan 2015
Gay and ***.
I cant help who i like. Love is love.? isn't it??
****** and Emo.
Cant you see words hurt me?
Stupid and *******.
I cant help my mental issues.
Its to bad words hurt.
Bullies don't know because they are too busy making fun of other peoples' life, and not paying attention to people calling them names.
736 · Jan 2015
Why Doesn't She Believe Me?
Holly Jan 2015
My own best friend acts like i'm trying to pretend,
I don't want this to happen again.
Another fight over something ridiculous.
Because if i was trying to pretend,
I would tell everybody.
She says she knows because her step dad has it,
But my Grandfather had it, My sister has it,
So there is a possibility,
I don't why she doesn't believe me.
732 · Mar 2015
Why?
Holly Mar 2015
Do you see?
Or did love just completely blind you?
I think your hurting to much,
Shes hurting you,
I hate it,
I wanna be able to help you  see,
Shes just completely destroying you,
She is one of the most unloyal  people i know,
And just seeing you hurt,
Kills me, your such a beautiful girl dont ya see?
I wonder and wonder
Why?
Why do you let her do this to you?
You cut, because of her,
You cry, because of her,
You hurt because of her,
I have grown to hate her for what shes done to  you.
Ugh,
Just notice im here, and want you to leave her,
Even though it wont happen... youll always be in love with her.
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