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092020

Faith isn't about competition,
We don't run this race to compare one's self to one another,
We don't run and bump each other.
We're not to offend those who fall and backslide,
We don't condemn people as the Spirit brings conviction.

But instead, we give a hand to the lost,
We should be building up each other
Instead of tearing each other down.

We run from the very beginning
'Coz we know what kind of battle we're facing,
And it's a battle against ourselves --
A battle with our own flesh
That will also soon die
And shall return into dust.

We live by grace
And we don't need to pretend we've never lied,
For in this world, everything is permissible
But not everything is beneficial.
So we choose our battle wisely,
We aim the target of not falling away
And remaining in what we've started --
Remaining in faith.

We fall and we rise;
But we are forgiven,
We are in Christ.
So we should no longer live in sin,
For sin has no hold on us
When Jesus becomes enough for us.

And like Jesus whose eyes are fixed on the Father,
We challenge ourselves each day,
To live a life with purpose,
With meaning and with hope --
That one day, we'll also rise
As we always proclaim by faith;
We'll also rise as Jesus did!
Glory and honor and power to the One who we're exalting!
Ama
082920

Nagbibilang na lamang ako ng oras
Upang ang bukas ay tuluyan nang kumalas
At kusang sumabay sa palakpakan
Sa entabladong nakatikom sa aking damdamin.

Ilang taon nang nakikibaka ang Iyong mga kamay
Sa modernong pagkatha at paglikom ng mga salapi.
At sa aming hapag-kaina’y ilang ulit na akong tinutukso
Ng mga matatamis na panimula sa telebisyon —
Na baka sakaling matikman ko rin
Ang hain nila sa sarili nilang hapag-kainan.

Minsan akong nangulila
Buhat sa kawalan nang may mga katanungang,
“Sino nga ba ang tama?”
Na sa paulit-ulit na pagtatapon ko ng mga ito’y
Ang mga ito rin ang sumasampal sa aking pagkatao.

Ngunit ang totoo’y:
Nilimot ko na ang mga katanungang iyon
Hindi ako sumabay sa agos ng galit
Na bumabawi sa aking paghinga
Na tila ba ako’y pagod na
At gusto ko na lamang manahimik mag-isa.

Nais kong sambiting
Hindi ako nagalit nang minsan mo kaming pinagtaksilan,
Inisip ko na lamang na iba ang latag ng kapalaran —
Iba ang laro sa loretang ito
At hindi ito madali —
Pero ito’y panandalian.

Siguro nga —
Iniisip **** saan nanggaling ang mga ito
Ang mga salitang tila ba hindi ko man lamang pinag-isipan
At tuluyan kong binitawan
Gaya ng pagbitaw mo para sa amin.

Pero gaya ng sambit ko —
Hindi ako galit,
Hubad ang aking emosyon
At umaapaw pa rin ang aking pagpapasalamat
Na sa mga oras na ito’y —
Hindi mo kami iniwan.

Higit pa sa pagpapabatid ko ng pasasalamat sa ito’y,
Nais kong ihagis ang aking mga kamay sa langit
Na tila ba higit pa sa nagagalak ang pakiramdam
Ang aking puso’y tiyak na ang grasyang alay ng Langit
Ang gumawad sa akin ng kalayaan.

Malaya akong piliin ang saya kesa sa galit,
Na parang paghihimay ng mga butil ng buhangin,
Parang imposible, di ba?
Pero naging posible
At wala na akong maihain pa
Kundi ang umaapaw kong pusong
Ginawang Malaya ng Maykapal.

Lubos ang aking pagsamba,
Salamat Ama.
Salamat sa dalawa kong ama at Ama.
052420

Ikaw --
Ang tula sa'king gabi,
Ang tulang 'di isantatabi.
052120

Ito ang gabing
Ako mismo ang sisira sa pangako ko —
Sa pangako kong ililibing ko ang sandaling
Mistulang nabihag ang buo kong pagkatao
Natapos ang mga petsang hindi ko na mabilang pa.

Panaginip —
Ika-11 ng gabi, naggising akong muli
Nasilayan kita
Nasilayan ko syang humahakbang papalapit sayo
Natakot ako, siguro nga
Wala naman kasing nagbago.

Natatakot pa rin akong hindi tayo magtagpo
Sa aking paghihintay sayo.
Ni hindi ko maitali ang sarili sa pagsambit ko ng “oo.”
Siguro nga, nag-aabang pa rin ako gaya ng dati —
Siguro nga isa na lamang akong
Gamu-gamong alaala ng kahapon
Na sa paupos na kandila’y
Tuluyan na ring maglalaho.
050220

Nagbibilang ako ng mga pahinang
Ni minsa’y hindi ko binura
Ni minsan, hindi ko binasura.
Hinuhulma ko pa rin ang aking mga kamay sa buwan
Na sa tuwing pinagmamasdan ko siya’y
Sumasagi sa’king isip ang unang tulang
Binigkas ko sayo nang biglaan.

At habang pinagmamasdan ko ang aking mga palad,
Ay kumukunot maging ang aking mga kilay
Kasabay ng kumot sa gabi sa bawat paghikbi.
Hinulma pa rin ba ang mga palad para sa isa’t isa?
O ang minsang nagpahinga’y
Bawal na rin bang bumalik para magsimulang muli?

Nauutal ako —
Sa tuwing sinisigaw ko saking isip ang pangalan mo
Ang bawat letrang dahan-dahan kong sinusulat
Sa aking alaala, saksi ang pintig ng pusong may pangamba.

Nasisilaw ako —
Na sa bawat pagpikit ko’y
Tila suntok ka sa buwan kung makakamtan muli.
Nasisilaw ako —
Sa tuwing hinihiling kong pagbuksan
Ang puso **** kinakatok at niluluhod sa panalangin.
05022020

I was standing in the middle of worship
People were worshipping God
And everyone was singing.
There’re pairs but they don’t have any relationship
One sings beside the other, one sings alone.

There were two different hymns
Or everyone was just voicing their hearts out
I ain’t a singer and yet I heard my voice good.
And together with others,
The first song I was singing was a heavy song
I was about to kneel,
I was bowing my head.

And there I recognized that many songs are being sung.
I heard someone said from the back,
“Kelan ba papalitan yung kanta?”
I recognized what has been said
But I can't control the words coming from my mouth,
And from the bottom of my heart,
It just felt so natural --
It felt so relieving.

Both of my hands started grasping a railing
As I continued in the spirit of worship.
And then the song changed to an upbeat one
And then to “Hosanna.”

While everyone was singing “Hosanna”
Someone has changed in the atmosphere.
I saw my body gliding and others too
People started coming while I was singing with others.

Some remained walking towards us --
Seeing but they’re only looking at us
But I never heard and seen anyone of them singing.
I was even shocked with myself
Because I was dancing like I was a good dancer
Those who sing also do their dancing
As if we were leading everyone else
But it seems they have another place to go with.

I recognized that they were walking
While I was flying with others.
Then I saw a man who’s also dancing and singing
And he was very good at it
We continued guiding those who are walking.

Then, the scene turned out to be an LRT station
But there was no means of transportation
I saw people strolling beside a platform
On my right side
And they’re somehow stuck
But I saw no reaction from them.

And there was a stair going upwards
It's like in the form of an escalator
I was holding the railing and it was steady
But the steps seemed to be invisible
All I know was: it’s a staircase.

Then I saw the man singing and dancing earlier
Telling the people to raise their hands
And they turned to look like zombies
They were obeying and copying what was instructed to them
And we were all giving them examples
As we do the “arms forward” thing.

Then I heard someone said,
“There’s something wrong,”
And he was pertaining to those people in the platform
They were about to chase a woman
And he pointed her out
And then the dream ended —
The dream ended and as I opened up my eyes,
I found my heartbeat too fast.
031620

The world needs to shout to be heard.
At first, we hear peace, contentment, success,
Joy, unity, encouragement, and love.
But all together,
It’s no longer the sound of music.

No longer about our plain existence
But of greed, power, abuse, hatred, or clamor.
But there’s always a greater Voice
Who keeps on knocking into our hearts
And that Voice needs to be heard.

In the silence of the world,
There’s a Voice that chooses to speak life —
The Voice that weighs one’s soul,
The Voice who rebukes and confronts,
And The Voice who saves and forgives.

And You are most heard...
I hear You as You whisper,
Not like the other days
When day shifts find no break.

Not when I was relieved
By doing well in life,
And not when happiness
Seems like a plunge of cola in my throat.

I hear You when I call on Your Name —
When I am on my knees shaking,
Begging for answers.

When I am rejoicing and in my excitement,
I choose to tell You first
What’s written in my heart.

I hear You as I stop crying
As I learn to surrender it all
To Your Name,
Jesus who’s ever so powerful.

I hear You more
As I wait for Your turn to speak
When I was so desperate
With my crazy but true faith in You.

I hear You more and more
And it feels like there’s a fire within me,
Like the days of Abraham in the burning bush.

And it feels like Your provision
Is already in my hands,
Like Elijah being fed by the angel
When he felt he was all alone.

It feels like having a new name
And a new beginning,
Like Jacob being Israel as You called him to be.

It feels like I am back to my confidence
That there’s nothing to harm me,
Like Daniel witnessing the lions being tamed.

It feels like I am walking into deliverance,
Like Moses and the Israelites
Walking in the parted Red Sea.

It feels like everything the enemy has stolen
Will soon be restored,
Like Job’s restoration of life.

In this pace of life,
In the first to third months,
You’ve reminded us of one thing:
That one of Your love languages
Is to whisper —
You whisper coz You’re near,
And so we’ve nothing to fear.
1 Kings 19:11-13

And he said, “Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

John 10:3-6

To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. And when he brings out his own sheep, he goes before them; and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. Yet they will by no means follow a stranger, but will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.” Jesus used this illustration, but they did not understand the things which He spoke to them.
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