010324

Ikaw —
Ikaw ang nag-iisang Pag-asa,
Ni hindi Mo ako binigo’t
Ni minsa’y hindi ako tinalikuran.

Sa bawat pagkakamali’y
Ni hindi Mo ako hinusgahan
Bagkus tanging yakap Mo ang naging sandigan.

Ikaw ang aking Pahinga,
Ang aking kalasag at kalakasan.
Sa Iyong mga Salita’y nabubuhay ako —
Nagiging bago ang lahat,
Nagiging payapa ang puso.

Sa tuwing isasandal ko ang aking sarili,
Sa’yo lamang ako nakakahinga,
At nagiging mahimbing ang aking pagtulog.
Ikaw ang lunas sa bawat sakit,
Walang duming hindi Mo kayang hugasan.

Ngayo’y nandito ako
Upang manghiram Sa’yo
Kahit alam kong hindi ko ito masusuklian.

Pahiram —
Pahiram ng lakas sa bawat araw,
Pahiram ng bagong pananaw
Nang ako’y makausad at makaahon.

Pahiram —
Pahiram ng hininga at sandali,
Pagkat hindi ko batid
Kung hanggang kailan lamang ang buhay.

Alam kong ang lahat ng sa akin ngayo’y
Tanging hiniram ko lamang Sa’yo
Kaya’t turuan Mo akong hindi angkinin ang mga ito.
Sa’yo ang lahat, at balang araw ay kukunin Mo rin ito
At ibabalik ko Sa’yo ang aking paghinga.

At ang tanging hiling ko’y
Mapapurihan pa Kita,
Maging malinis ang puso
Hanggang sa pagbabalik Mo.
Salamat — Salamat, Ama.

112524

You left Your Throne for me,

Yet never lost Your sacred essence.

You came with purpose, burning bright —

To rescue me, to bring me light.

You are the Most High, the Messiah,

All power beneath Your sovereign feet.

No force, no darkness, no hellish scheme —
Nothing can sever what’s ours to keep.

The Cross is more than wood and nails,

It’s where You bled for all my sins.

You, Heaven’s Beloved, pure and true,

Yet still You chose to die for me too.

How unfathomable Your love is,

It floods my soul, a boundless sea.

I tremble, awestruck, in Your grace,

For You have made a way for me.

My love for You, I claim again,

And lay it at Your feet.

My days are far too few, I know,

Yet You promise me eternity

081324

These days, I skipped my morning routines.
No coffee breaks, no late meals.
I lost not just the appetite for food
But also the appetite to mingle and crack some jokes.

So, it’s just me —
And this isolation was so familiar.
Just like the old days of resisting my “tiny self.”
The so-random thoughts don’t even help at all…
I was stuck in this shell and it wasn’t well-curated.

My body aches with the unknown tensions
And so I pulled the strings off my mind,
Stretched out my feet as hard as I can
But inside me was something severe —
Something I hated to encounter.

I speak to my body as I lay down
Turned on my favorite playlist in Spotify
Full of worship instrumental
And empowering podcasts
Calming my soul to take a pause and simply rest.

Goodnight to the bed bugs that bite
As I shake off the fluffy pillows on my feet.
Then I cover myself with a hand-me-down blanket.
The pain was intense
So I had to grab my pills to give myself a lesson.

I used to glide my left hand
Reaching out my French-bulldog
Named after HP’s Luna Lovegood.
But this time, I made her sad for not playing around.

I know, she’s tired of me too
We stared to each other for days
And all I can see was her scared eyes.
Most of the times, she jumps off her feet
But this was no longer the old times — she’s changed.

I went outside to breathe
But it’s like an open freezer to me.
I ***** when I eat and the aching doesn’t stop.
My body’s tired of murmuring her pleads...
I know and I can feel her
But I was not ready to comfort her.

I looked at the mirror with pale face.
Having tons of lippies can’t even paint my lips red.
I overthink when I’m upset
So my past time was to write —
It’s like an explosion of joy, anger, fear…
Did I forget the others from Inside Out?

The inner child within me was turned on,
And how could I stop her?
Should I play hide and seek?
I hope it’s the end game already
But I find this as my quiet place too.