Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
  Apr 2018 Parker
Morgan Brehilt
Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down
  Mar 2018 Parker
Jeff Gaines
Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!

                                Big, Biggest Love,

                                               Jeff Gaines
I spent nearly 8 years living in Bed-Stuy Brooklyn. Park Ave. and Broadway. Right across the street from the Sumner Houses section. People died on my block at a rate of one or so a month. 4 different times, I heard the actual shots that I would later learn had taken the lives of people. I heard gun fire and/or screaming on a nearly nightly basis. Daytime was okay. But at night, all bets were off.

In the entire time that I lived there, I walked the streets coming home from the train and bars and even work, as late as 3-4 in the morning. NOT ONCE was I ever accosted or even approached, let alone hurt or robbed.

Aside from the Angel that has apparently been living upon my shoulder for most all of my life ... I accredit this uncanny security to the outward appearance I have been bestowed with. I am a big guy, 6 foot tall, 275 pounds, long curly brown hair, a mustache and soul patch. I have a cocky, confident swagger when I walk, always with my head up and always taking in my surroundings.

I've come to the conclusion that the bad guys take one look at me and then ponder: "Ehhh, let's just wait on the next one."
Parker Mar 2018
He lets me place my hands on his cheeks
and what I mean by that is
he doesn't hit me when I bother him with my affection
He lets me travel my hands gently to his chest
during my slow and careful inspection
It starts with them trembling against the scruff on his cheeks
He says he needs to shave
I say he needs to let it grow
I run my fingers across the peaks of his eyebrows
He relaxes his tense muscles slowly under my touch
I feel an influx of emotions as I begin to understand
This man loves me
I'm tracing every inch of him into my brain
Because love like this can never be attained twice
The way he lets me be myself is something I am unaccustomed to
It is something which I am still adjusting to
My hands become more confident
They explore his arms, the ones that hold me
He holds me delicately as if I am a paper bird
And he does not wish to crumple or fold me
I tell him I am not fragile
He says he is aware
He says he knows how much I like it
when he pulls my hair
I ignore his sly comment and continue my journey
Whoever came before does not concern me
I know I am his
I am comfortable in this
Parker Mar 2018
i have forgotten how to write poetry     because i forgot

poetry isn't    always just        
                                                      sad
i forgot
                      that
i can                                      
write
about              happiness


but how               can                i
                                                                     when there is none?


when everything's just


numb?
Parker Mar 2018
Apologises spoken
A voice that used to be a token
Straight to her heart
Letting the fire start
But they were both so broken
Their poems where their feelings were wrote in
Two angry, hurt souls
To nobody else they would disclose
Their well-kept feelings
For such a short time they were sailing
Then she saw straight through the smiles
And saw the inner, lying child
She's still bitter
Though he's apologized to try and make it better
She's afraid to respond
Knowing her anger would overcome
Any logic that might be there for the start
But she's bitter and hurt, and she feels it through to her heart
She's moved on with someone who doesn't tell her empty words
She truly loves him, which she has come to learn
She just needs to move on from the past
And now she finally has happiness at last
Parker Mar 2018
From conception
To death
Progression
Has left
Blackened and burned
These scars that I've earned
From all of my sins
All my life has been
Constant trials
Refusal and denials
Nothing ever showing
The results of my so-called "growing"
Since when was I fixed?
Its all just a trick
To show the public
Im not mentally sick
But like I said
Its all just pretend
So they don’t see
How I turn out in the end
Next page