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Is love a choice?

Despite the buried words,
Behind the suppressed truths,
Heartfelt suggestions
And needful changes,

As they proved
"Light travels faster than sound"

words die
When I see you...

Over the world
I chose love.
Maybe I just gave up.
In twilight hues, behind the masks they wear,  
Lies secrets hidden, passions unshare.  
A world of mystery, where truths conceal,  
Behind the masquerade, hearts reveal.  
  
  
With every step, a dance divine,  
Their footsteps echo through time.  
Echoes of laughter, whispers of love,  
As masqueraders move above.  
  
  
In this realm of fantasy and dreams,  
Where masks and costumes reign supreme,  
Hope and desire entwine as one,  
And hearts beat faster, in tune.  
  
  
Oh! The magic that unfolds,  
When mortals don disguise and gold.  
For in the masquerade, we find,  
Our true selves, our deepest mind.  
  
  
So let us revel in this night,  
And lose ourselves in delight.  
For when the morning sun appears,  
We'll shed our masks, without fears.
~for Jonathan Larson (2)~
~~~~
where poets dare to tread
knowing the jeopardy to
themselves when their truths
are outed by the light shedding
come the morning’s birthing,
my ending unwritten,
the methodology unknown
(1)
<•>
the tabulations final sum
identified by a =  
couplet doublet line
underlining, undermining,
tho the sign indeterminate,
pos or neg,
worse yet maybe,
zero sun-shiny outed,
well,
rue-sighing
must be one of but just
them three tri-bipolar optionalities

the script unwrit
the possibilities vast,
alone nursing home,
an empty dull
barely furnished,
studio apartment
an unnoticed blah, blah blah;
that’s ok

there will be no vast array,
conclave of family & friends,
his stateless status
formed by a choice reenforced by time,
a man chose a solitary tilt,
till it
was a deathly rigid reality factual,
free willed
~~
the irony sweetbitter,:
he who loved love
sometimes writing wrinkles
of only love poetry
but was
stumped
by its consequences continual
&
stumbled
in and out, deep or not at all ,
but only periodic,
alternating decades from
age ninteen

his leavings will be
minimal,
his trail,
dusted under,
and his sense of wonderment
at the atomic elemental
extant and yet undiscovered,
is where will live his
only wisps of his whispers,
heard  ‘pon the backs
of rushing to nowhere
guest gusts of
canyon winds
of his york;
city of naissance

do not protest
nor deviate with debate,
the future unpredictable
and yet curved hewn from,
made from straight block stone
of absolute clarity
of speckled Barre gray granite
~~
mistake this not
for bewailing,
catlike caterwauling,
ever even the bitters,
of short-lived
the in~between now
and resting place finale
indeterminate,
~~
but follow a path of words,
an Appalachian Trial
roving  through forest & civilization,
multiple states,
safe and dangerous
worldly, wormwood wordfuls
all jumble uttered simultaneous

<>
so we dare to ask out loud,
will I die in dignity,
the answer a stale prequel
question obvious answered
in his heritage-styled genes,
with another wink
of a question;

what is dignity?
~~
alone, surrounded by
no one,
matters not,
headstone irrelevant
for this good morning
of cherishing
words and tunes,
adding a line
here and there,
is dignity enough,
and this,
well known to him,
within his collapsing vein's depths,

so the answer
smooth planed and plain:

This,
this is dignity
one more time,
one more winding
spiraling downwards
uplifting
poem


and a
never ending~never the less
&
nevermore
forevermore
satisfactory
answer
(1)
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4994818/nat-your-own-chosen-speed-can-you-guess/

(2)
Lyrics by Jonathan Larson
“Will I/ Life Support

Will I?
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?



Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
To know this story, you must know this place,
Of merry hills and fort and sandy wars
And men and children grown in war's embrace,
The vow that's sworn away from death's own doors.
 
In winter chill, on top of mighty hill,
There stood a fort in merry joy and woe,
With drowsy moonshine dreams of household full,
Unbidden zephyr gallops wild like doe.
 
In rocky vales of winter darkling skies,
Where divine angels dwell in olden oaks,
And dulcet scent of dampen mound disguise,
The salty, sadden sweat of gallant folks.
 
The ancient granite fort with arrow slits,
A blackwood drawbridge, over pond of death,
That hangs on iron chains above the pit.
With sentry guards in pair and swords in sheath.
 
On eaves ornate, the sparrows chirp and roast,
A secret promise whispered close to nest,
The chandeliers burn with merry boast,
And castle bustling whole, without a rest.
 
With mane of crimson hair like autumn leaves
Her eyes so green like forest canopy,
The skin, a bit of cypress brown, tea-leaves,
Her voice like ocean singing symphony.
 
Like draught of vintage buried cellar deep,
In lives the damsel beauty—Mary, bright,
Beloved and father war in ****** keep,
For either death would cast a shadow wide.
 
And down the rocky hill, and fort ornate,
Beneath the waning moon, in savage lands,
Where deer and tiger, fox and wolf await,
In seas beyond, a battle fought in sands.
 
Along the winding path to castle-fort,
Where cobblestones bear moss and bramble thorn,
And cracked by sedge from bygone summer's lot,
A knight-in-arms, an anguish pilgrim lone.
 
By scarlet hawthorn berries, bare on branch,
Through cawing haunts of crows on winter night,
His quiet breath in crescent moonlight, staunch,
A requiem for souls in silent light.
 
As owls so hoot and croon and huddle close,
The knight, in ****** armor ambles forth,
Beneath his heavy foot a flower goes,
Exhaustion trembles set in arms thenceforth.
 
His heart, a writhing throe like Christ in woe,
As winter’s lash cuts deep in frozen flow,
The haggard knight in sorrow bowed so low,
And feels the icy hail upon his face.
 
The crimson plume on helm is wet in rain,
And drips its scarlet shade in flowing rills,
Its scarlet bleeding down in winding pain,
By dripping blood to lie and rest on hills.
 
Yet onward still he treads, though burdened sore,
For heavy debt on heart like python coil,
Through storm and steel, through blood and ocean’s roar,
"How long can blood endure such weary toil?"
 
The heavens blaze alight in argent strikes,
The man wishing silver barbs to escape,
Atop the castle high, his love awaits,
Awaits her knight and father's sound escape.
 
He broods and broods on how to tell her why,
Of father's death, of arrow meant for me,
His mood weighed down like overcastened skies
Of sorrow, guilt and pain in final sigh.
 
To walls and towers girdle fort around;
With gardens blooming full of supple rills,
As rose and winter lily buds surround,
By forests many old as craggy hills.
 
His footsteps worth and measureless to man,
The rosary, a gift that burns his vest,
The joy to see his Mary stings like cane,
His tears in rain to hide, he tries his best.
 
"If fate were honest, I would lie in dust,
Her father climbing up with steady breath.
But fickle fates as always lay unjust,
And stole the steel away, along with death.
 
What words suffice? What solace can I give?
Her father’s blood still stains my hands and skin.
To bring her beads, yet lack the man who lived—
A gift so light, a loss so deep within."
 
The beads that weigh more than his iron shield,
He stumbles over mud and road in pain,
And nears the fortress, iron gates in sight,
As sentry hails the knight, away from rain.
 
Through casement high and triple arched ways,
With corners filled with cobwebs, dusty old,
The latticed rooms that's chill like silent caves,
While walls adorned with banners, stubborn mold.
 
She rushes forth, a shriek of joy released,
Like flower's ecstasy her eyes alight
But halts—his eyes, cast low, his lips now sealed,
And weeps with anguish soft, a broken sight.
 
"How could you vanish, leaving me adrift,
On far-off shores where worthless battle calls?
If not beside me where our vows would shift,
Then in the earth—at home—your body falls.
 
My heart aches, not yet numb in drowsy pain
My sense, as nightshade, hemlock I did drink,
Should empty opiates to dull the drain,
Of memories that Lethe-wards do sink?
 
Five summers passed, their golden warmth now fled,
Your voice and words to bring the warmth of hearth
The sixth arrives—yet where has laughter sped?
Like waters, gurgle soft from mountain-earth?"
 
"My Mary, my love, don't you waste away,
For I did bring much more than death in sum,
Through seas and storm, the deadly men and fray,
Oh, I did bring a final breath a hum."
 
And saying so, the knight on ground he kneeled,
Unclasped his breastplate, and dug out from vest,
The prayer beads from father's hands he peeled,
His blessings, warm and still, his tethered light.
 
"His Mary’s hands must hold what he did last,
So spoke the gallant man, with final breath,"
With broken voice, the knight then spoke aghast,
"He took the arrow meant to pierce my breast"
 
Then Mary clutches beads in hands her tight,
A silent memory of love now lost.
Upon her lips, a vow to set aright,
The woes of fathers bound as sandy ghosts.
stray thought: hard earned wisdom

is there any other kind?

the easy come easy go kind
kinda never sticks around
long enough to make an
indentation just like facts
memorized for a school test
gone so quick you never truly
had them to keep, beyond the
inevitable ending by a bell ringing

the earning is hard, painful oft,
gained usually at great cost
which makes sense, long,
or even short,  created to be
savored, favored, and welcomed
every time it from recesses it
comes unconsciously summoned


but never confuse smarts
with wisdom,
snarts (snarky smarts)
can be obtained, purchased,
but wisdom is always
and only
    hard e a r n e d
I couldn't love you anymore
  than I already do
and it's killing me
  but what a lovely way
    what a lovely way
      to go
to die like this
  to have lived a life
where in the end
   it was love
     that murdered me
to know as I took
  my final breath
   that the thing
     making my heart
       beat inside of me
would escape
  the graveyard
    of my chest
and live among the stars
  where eternity dances
    with the love
      that was killing me
  and what a lovely way
     what a lovely way
        to go
From you, a life began, tender and true,
You gave shelter, nurtured dreams, together we grew.
A fantasy blossomed, in light it danced aglow,
But time whispered softly, it's time to let go.

Together, we vowed to weather every storm,
Promised to hold the trophy, our hearts sworn.
I promise to return, your name held high,
Ensuring your sacrifices under this sky will never die.
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