Hurting something nobody sees me doing
hurting is something i didn't realize i was doing for a long time
till i locked myself up in a room and turned off all the lights
shut the blinds and sat in the dark room
hurting is something i didn't realize i was doing till I couldn't look at myself in the mirror anymore and smile
to where I couldn't look at a lighter anymore and think of it as a tool to light a candle
hurting is something we all do but don't realize it

Y lo sé,
mi amor,
que aún
no te vas.
Pero si llega
mi vieja
mala suerte,
si el destino
me mira
de reojo,
por favor,
no me digas
adiós.

Si no, lléname
la nevera
de besos
y abrazos
que no se
enfrían,
por si me muero
de hambre
y no de pena,
por si me faltan
tus labios
en las madrugadas.

Esconde piezas
de ti debajo
de las almohadas,
entre sábanas
y bolsillos,
para hallarte
en los días
donde el sol
olvide mi nombre.

Lo sé,
mi amor,
no es tiempo
de marcharse.
Pero si el reloj
tropieza
con mi sombra,
si el adiós
se asoma
sin permiso,
por favor,
no me lo digas.
Solo quédate
un poco
en cada rincón
donde te soñé.

why is it that the "first" everything mesmerizes me
is it the beginning of a story that sets my heart free?
the first electric zap felt on meeting someone's eyes
the connection built in an instant, a new desire thrives
the first step taken by a little baby on her own
or the excitement of listening to someone's voice over the phone
for the very first time, something blossoming anew
a seedling sprouting into a tree under the sky so blue
yes, the freshness of a new day's morning dew
and visiting a place for the first time for a beautiful view
all these things and more make my nerves explode
with a joy so surreal, something i always love to explore

the first time i speak to a stranger will be the last time he will be a stranger,
the sunrise of 1st January will always be a game changer,

the first child, the first day at school, the first time i hold someone's hand

or the first time someone touches beyond my body, ingraining himself on my skin like a brand

the introduction to a topic or the chapter number one in my books
the first heartbreak, the first financial decision i ever took?

all this and more, rattles me to my very core
because firsts don't last, the energy fades
one after another, more memories we make
until the movie ends and credits apear on the black background
.
.
.
-i love firsts since they do not last,
and maybe that's why there's such a fuss about our past?
i love firsts because they don't last
and that's why a part of us shall always stay in the past

Silence
Winds blowing
Water on the bumpy cracks
Vivid colours
Stinging pain
No release
No atoms change
Not a soul harmed

I've been here before
The leaving
Been here on the floor
Been heaving

I know of this place
The rapture
You're leaving this space
Can't capture

I can't keep you here
I'm hurting
So I'll disappear
Reverting

I'll put up my walls
Not peaking
I'm hiding my flaws
Stopped seeking

And everyone leaves
They all do
They rob me like thieves
I love you

I want them to stay
You won't, though
So I ran away
A deathblow

You dealt it to me
Deranging
You say we're the same
But we're changing

Don't ask me to let
You hurt me
Then wonder why I
Want to flee

Folks always leave
I know it
So why try to cleave
Just submit