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Kai 4d
I can lead you to salvation
For I have been through all damnation
I can show you our Lord’s bounty,
Keep it in the family
Fear or doubt me

I can lead you to salvation,
Drag you through endless mud
**** and wine and bones and blood,
Offer Him true dedication
**** your young and bruise your knees
Keep it in the family
Fear or hate me

Was I born to love my mother
Or was I born to watch her die?
Laid down with my hands both tied
God, why do you punish me?
I’ve killed myself a million times
To keep it in the family
No debiste cerrar la puerta así.
La violencia del portazo
ha estremecido mis manos.

¿Debías cerrarla así?
No lo creo.
O tal vez lo que yo creo
no importa.

Yo nunca la habría cerrado así.
Tal vez habría dejado
que el tiempo y la naturaleza
hicieran lo suyo.

Tal vez las malezas
se hubieran subido por el marco,
enredado el umbral,
convertido la despedida
en algo más lento,
más orgánico,
menos cruel.

Pero lo que yo creo
no importa.

¿Mis palabras fueron mucho?
¿Te dolieron?
¿Te empujaron?

Me atormenta lo que dije.
Tal vez las habría guardado.
Pero las pensé durante semanas,
las cuidé,
las envolví
como un regalo.

Un regalo
que provocó que tiraras la puerta.

¿Soy culpable
de tu acto final?

¿Acaso mis palabras
fueron bruscas?

No lo sé.

Solo sé
que tú
no debiste irte así.

Pero no importa.
Ya no.
Izzy 4d
I Could Have Been

I could have been—
I could have been your girl.
And not just any girl—
your girl.

The one you come home to,
the one you hold tight.
You wouldn’t have to fight
battles that weren’t yours to beat,
or carry secrets
you were never meant to keep.

I could have been happy—
happy with you.

If only
you could have
loved me
too.
A soft ache for the could-have-beens.
Do you see
The wind move the trees
The birds take flight
It's no subtle breeze
The trees do a dance
They thrash about
The rhythm steady
If they could they would shout
When the wind dies down
Trees perfectly still
They didn't take the prize
But next time they will.
some days i still miss him.
not even the way he touched me
or the way we laughed
or the way we argued
like we were the only two people
who’d ever been 16 and heartbroken.
but i miss the us that lived between homework and hallway glances,
the version of me who thought love was
"he blocks you but still cares."

he made me feel like a girl worth breaking.
and i kept writing poems
like maybe if i got the words right,
he’d come back.

but now there’s you.
also an N.
also a mystery.
but your silence feels softer.
like a sentence left unfinished
instead of a door slammed shut.

you’re a nerd too.
quiet but not invisible.
your ambition lives in your eyes
and the way you talk about football
like it’s something holy.
i want to sit next to you on the pitch,
ask questions i already know the answers to,
just to hear you explain them.

i don’t know what i feel.
i just know i still think of him
when feathers fall from nowhere.
and i think of you
when i pick up my pen
and start over.
life can end
in a second, love
I’m just writing
a poem
dude 4d
smoking like a fired arm
slave to smooth long legged charm
half of the bottle's already gone
a few more sips wouldn't harm
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