"Confused"
I think.
"Are we good?"
I ask.
You nod,
my smile widens
but in my mind
there is dark
and I know.
You aren't okay.

I wonder if there is a moment
that you are.
It seems all the time
you aren't
and that it is all my fault.
Screaming voices
crying sound
clawing for air
I am choking
just to know.
All I get is
"I'm okay."

Though I know you aren't.
It scares me
to death.
That all you do is hurt
and you get
blood red eyes
quivering lips
sweat
shaking.
The outside is very truthful.

Now I'm lying
my smile hides
the pale white face
the red eyes
quivering lips
matted hair
claws on the skin
bodies bleeding
screaming
choking back tears
whimpering.
Now I'm hoping
that all that happens tonight
is that you smile
say
"I love you."