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Cerasium
Poems
Sep 2021
Never Ending Cycle
Going about the day
Like there’s nothing wrong
Smiling and laughing
Like nothing is going on
Playing games
Hanging out with friends
All bubbly and happy looking
Like nothing is wrong
But under the surface
Ready to burst
Fearing the moment
It boils over
Putting on a fake smile
To hide the tears
Threatening to burst
Without a moments notice
You put on masks everyday
To hide the pain
You wish to not share
In fear of being a burden
Silently hoping
That you keep it together
So you don’t get called attention seeker
Drama queen or a burden
Holding onto that pain
It steadily gets worse
Thoughts race
Mind goes dark
Demons stir and awaken
Shadows twist and warp
Causing panic and fear
Is it real or just your head
Too afraid to ask
Too afraid to speak out
Too afraid to ask for help
Too afraid to push it away
Too afraid to run
Too afraid to cry
Too afraid of being judged
Too afraid of everything
Now hiding alone in the dark
Staying away from everyone else
Hammering your skull
Hoping to beat them out
Breaking down
Silently screaming
Eyes shut tight
Tears running down your face
You break down
Wishing everything was different
That your mental state was normal
Not so tattered and broken
Knees to forehead
Squeezing your legs tighter into you
Hoping the pressure will help
Tears now running down your legs
There a knock at the door
And you switch everything off
Clean up your face and smile
All in a few seconds
Just another mask
Put on daily
In a never ending cycle
Of constant torment
#depression
#bpd
#mask
#emotions
#sad
#fear
#torment
#mental
#health
#bipolar
Written by
Cerasium
31/M/Phoenix, Arizona
(31/M/Phoenix, Arizona)
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