i am small
barely enough to live
another day

i am weak
brittle bones afraid
of being betrayed;

and when i scream
i pretend they're all
here with me inside
my broken mind

maybe it's all a dream
maybe not,

how can i tell
when i'm barely alive ?

i'm too scattered
to fight this settling calm,

i can't sleep
maybe it's in my head

and i can feel it in
my arms --

unsettling my veins,
and in my frozen tears

it's circling inside
of me, always, right here

when the blackness
swirls and swarms;

and it's the same
despair that

i've bled now,
so many a times;

caught in my
storms

far from
the giving sun

to be so old
when i'm young

i am numb and
forever dying

so cold
like the last night,

that i spent with
my eyes wide open

trying to find meaning
in the shadows that
move across the walls

dancing in stark
darkness,

there's something here
in this room with me that
does not exist

or has ever spoken

and yet i hear it breathing
down my neck,

i can taste the whispers
that have made a home
in the deep of my skin,

i can feel my mind
fighting the dread, the dead
and everything inbetween,

and i love this hurtful
existence, i'm in love with
the flames,  

i've known nothing else
and nothing else can be the
same as this pain --

it's strange how much
we fight the things we cannot
explain,

there's this white noise on
the other side of the world
we'll never learn how to
contain --

and it'll seep through
our cities and thoughts

in the same wilderness
as i once was;

you'll just be as weak
and small

as we've always
been,

no rain nor fire
or rivers or trees

just us free,
drowning forever.