I'm afraid to be loved.
But that doesn't mean
I don't want to be loved.

I know I say mean things
about myself all the time,
but I do that to protect
myself from potential danger
and unnecessary heartache.

I'm only human,
or perhaps a bit too human.
I can't deal with too much hardship
because it will only make me
spawn an ocean of melancholy.

And I do not want people to see
me drown in my own weakness.
I simply can't allow it.

So I **** it up and carry on.
You might think my mindset
is brave and indeed
it is, to some degree.

But most of all it is painful.
It's so ******* painful.
But I'll get through it, I have to;
until I crash and burn.