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Dec 2019
The hardest part of living
Having to face the past each day
No matter where I look here it's there
Impossible to get away

This town teems with memories
Of our favorite places
Plagued by overflowing mental holograms
Ghosts we left as traces

I cannot forget the laughter
Nights stayed up too late
Who knew all was wasted?
Happiness was not our fate

These roads we have walked a thousand times
Striding arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand
Traveling them alone is a concept I hate
Grown to understand

It was yesterday it seems
Hand was free from chains
Regret imprisons my body and mind
Eternally haunted by what remains

Lost the comfort of a monotonous routine
Contradictory emotions I thinly hide
Was naive to believe all the walls I put up
Shut out but not shut me inside

The war between fear and hope
A battle I fight every day
Out of shape
Out of breath from sparring
Pretend I am okay

But know my "Fine" is only a facade
I will cry when I'm alone
Convincing myself pain will one day end
How can it end if I'm doing it on my own?

And if I did ask for help
Choose to send an SOS
There is no guarantee for an easier life
I would just be bringing somebody more stress

So bear the explosions as best as I can
My frozen soul I long to surrender
With an army of regrets I strive to forget
Must be losing-because I still remember
This is sad but true
Amanda Kay Burke
Written by
Amanda Kay Burke  29/F/Alaska
(29/F/Alaska)   
286
     trisha, Naceur Ben Mesbah and ---
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