each day i ask myself
is there ever going to be more?
more than this life that i'm forcing myself to live
i need to know that this all ends well
that my fairy tale ending will happen
that i matter to someone
that i will find my one true love
and we will live happily ever after
that maybe my parents will finally accept me for me
maybe there will come a time when
i stop hiding from myself
when i stop being so afraid of rejection
but then i think what if?
what if there isn't anything more?
what if nothing ever changes?
what if i can't stop hating the person i am?
and i hate thinking like this but i can't stop it
why can't i stop it?
why won't it just stop?
please. make it stop!