"The Struggle for Love" "The Longing for Home" So desperate to prove That our hearts aren't alone
While death looms wherewith To make dust of our flesh We seek in a myth Our souls to enmesh
With a hero of hope A rescuing source To widen our scope And give pith to our course
An unshakable tie An attachment at core Which might silence the cry That our hearts are at war
With a pure set of eyes Full of fire and proficient To dispel all the lies That our souls aren't deficient
But it's not our mere lack Which causes most dread It's the earth-shattering fact That our spirits are dead
Cut off from their Source In a black alienation Humanity's curse For its rank ins'bordination
We just want our own way And to write our own story So we plunge on astray To seek our own glory
To play artist or muse Or idol or chief Any self-styled ruse To assuage us of grief
Any measure to show A lasting signif'cance So that someone would know Our unique magnif'cence
For our beauty's been marred And we crave a redemption Of souls twisted and scarred By fulfillment's exemption
But, alas, we will find That search hard as we may There's not one of our kind Who can carry the tray
Upon which the weight Of our souls has been laid For who can e'er tolerate Its gross debts unpaid?
Such suff'cating mass Of defects and ills Pressed 'gainst delicate glass Of egos and wills
Still more ghastly to bear Is devotion unbound For with millstone to wear Its master is drowned
'Neath a sea of foul yeast And becomes the enslaved To a hungering beast To a worship depraved
For the heart is a tiger And must have its fill So it raises a man higher With a kiss before the ****
Not intentionally, of course, Does it slaughter its idol But of hurricane force Is this longing so vital
And as pedestal turns So quickly to altar Our wounded pride burns When our gods and alms falter
And the fire of its rage Turns upon its obsession Tiger breaks out of cage To reclaim self-possession
It bites and it tears What it once so adored And pride no longer cares If it kills its false lord
But upon such demise The soul screams in terror For it's broken its prize And can't take back its error
It begs and it pleads To restore what's been lost But at end knows it needs To consider the cost
Of the damage untold It has left in the wake For hearts can't be controlled With a gush or a shake
No, men's hearts are like bombs Which so easily explode Once the pin is removed All past wrongs will re-load
So the prey becomes hunter When the tiger attacks For he does not want her To see what he lacks
As he, too, had put Her up in wrong place But now steps his foot Upon her shamed face
To now pulverize As his own heart's been crushed To blind out her eyes And to see her lips hushed
For with words idly spoken She'd stabbed at his soul And had left his pride broken By her judgments so cold
She had not meant to harm Knew not e'en that he heard But one cannot disarm A thought put to word
Worse than not knowing this She no longer knew him And her once imagined bliss Proved a nullified whim
Oh, what games and delusions We play and we build Upon empty illusions And dreams unfulfilled
Yet strangely it's when Our worst fears come true We can finally transcend All those old tales we grew
Out of ego and void Out of sorrow and pain When our nerves felt annoyed And our hearts felt too vain
'Cause when ego is puffed It is primed, too, to pop And with pinprick is snuffed Like a pest-blighted crop
So imagine much more When a venom's injected Right into its core And its heart is rejected
But can you also not see How it needs such a burst To begin to get free From its self-absorbed curse?
Except now feels the matter Of our soul's isolation Fiercer still with the shatter Of our pet consolation
So we wait and we wonder If we've missed the true meaning Of the frightening thunder In our heart's constant screaming
Whether homesick or lost Whether lonely or grieved Locked in bleak Winter's frost We find little reprieve
Yet we know we've been made For the glory of Spring Some card's still to be played Some grand song still to sing
Inexpressible yearning For some secret we know But can't speak for the burning Repercussions of woe
Not some mere melancholy Nor nostalgic forlorn Not the musings of folly But a sense that we're torn
From primordial root And from headwaters fresh Yet much deeper to boot From our spiritual breath
'Tis an ache not for wares, Appreciation or fame But a fight just for air Against strangling shame
For we're naked, we know And with all we devise Our most flawed parts still show To a pure set of eyes
Like we're walking around With no covering intact But thin hospital gown With wide split up the back
So we hide our true face Aim to be what we're not Work our blots to erase Lest our schemes should be caught
Be 't by friend or by foe We dare not risk the pain Of humiliation's blow On top of our stain
But instead of relief Anguish grows louder till This life's loneliest grief Paralyzes the will
And last hope all but dies On doubt's bed of despair While embittered heart cries That its lot's too unfair
Yet on outside we play Through our unconscious mind Man's collective charade That everything's fine
Like some pact we'd all sworn To uphold and obey To protect from the scorn Of society's sway
If we run with the flow 'Stead of strive 'gainst the tide We might make enough show To salvage our pride
We forget that conceit Is what caused all the mess Through a serpent's deceit And a couple's wrong guess
'Twas they first tasted shame And then hid in a garden Sewing fig leaves as claim To secure their own pardon
Yet in horror they knew They had squandered the Prize And must flee from the view Of a pure set of eyes
Now same state of awry Runs through each of their seed Inborn and borne by Like the thorniest ****
Whose nettles pierce deep And infect every part While roots tangle and sweep Through the mind and the heart
It mocks what we've lost Torments every dim hope To constrict and accost Like a noose-tightening rope
Still, hope won't be decayed Smold'ring fires yet burn Sparking hints that we're made For bright Eden's return
This redemption we crave Is no phantom's false plea But as crestfallen wave Hides itself in the sea
It's been veiled in plain sight Big as all of our stories Deep as mankind's full plight And as high as its glories
Cloaked in every ambition That we have to get in To some exclusive coalition For its favors to win
Lurks a bleeding predilection Frustrated from birth A desire for election To bestow on us worth
Lured by scent of a promise To be chosen and known Like the warmth of a mom's kiss Given only to her own
We search tree after tree For sweet intimacy's nectar From a fruit that will be Our secret connecter
To hope's nourishing breast To life's honey from comb To an undying rest To a straight way toward home
One to wipe away tears And allay deepest doubt Which proceeds from worst fears Of our being locked out
Of a garden again Cast from pure tree of life Dim remembrance of when Mankind first entered strife
All our conflicts, comp'tition, Confusion and blame Find first cause in perdition That's invaded our frame
Like the foulest disease The most cankerous rot Grown by monstrous degrees Hatched by Lucifer's plot
This story's no ****'s attack Nor archaic folklore But the earth-shattering fact That our hearts are at war
With a pure set of eyes Full of fire and proficient To dispel all the lies That our souls aren't deficient
And it's not our mere lack which causes most dread But the earth-shattering fact That our spirits are dead
Cut off from their Source In a black alienation Humanity's curse For it's rank ins'bordination
And yet...
This is also the story Of how those same eyes The Possessor of Glory Looked with love and heart cries
On the crown of creation His reflection of Self Made His own treasured nation The heirs of His wealth
Now broken and lost All banished from Garden And He knew the full cost To grant them His pardon
Had known long before He had e'er even made That first man of yore Yet handcrafts anyway
For His love is so strong And He wanted to share His intimacy with a throng His own children to bear
So with souls in convulsion From their rebellious misdeed Just before their expulsion He promised a Seed
One untainted from sin Who could take its great boulder And the weight of His kin Upon His own shoulder
A Hero of hope A rescuing Source To widen our scope And give pith to our course
An unshakable tie An attachment at core Who would silence the cry That our hearts are at war
With a pure set of eyes Full of fire and proficient To dispel all the lies That our souls aren't deficient
For those eyes are His own And He'd pay the full fee By His body alone To set our hearts free
He's hope's nourishing breast He's life's honey from comb He's our undying rest He's our straight way toward home
He will wipe away tears And allay deepest doubt Which proceeds from worst fears Of our being locked out
Of the Garden again Cast from pure Tree of Life Dim remembrance of when Mankind first entered strife
But 'twas on another tree That sweet intimacy's nectar Was secured tight when He Became sacred Connector
And the thorns of our curse Were pressed onto His head With not one there to nurse As the Son of Man bled
Then the wrath for our sin Was absorbed as He cried And the foul curse was broken When the Son of God died
But death couldn't keep Him long Nor His glory dispose And we found our lost song When the King of kings rose!
The debt had been paid He had finished the work The tide 'gainst us was swayed We weren't left in our lurk
And we've only to now Just repent and believe To open and allow Our hearts to receive
Our Divine Fountainhead Our covering complete To sup from His bread And to sit at His feet
To worship the One For Whom we were made By Whom we've been won Whom forever we've craved
The One Who can bear Our hearts' full devotion The One Who won't tear At our souls' raw emotion
The One Who will be Sweet eternity's song Who with lasting decree Will...right...every...wrong
~~~
First two lines taken from Timothy Keller sermon titles; also inspired by his other sermons: "The Breastplate of Righteousness" "Blessed Self-Forgetfulness" "The Sandals of Peace" "The Wounded Spirit"