I know I've felt happy lately But you don't see how close The darkness really is Threatening my neck with every step
I am ashamed of what I've done To you and others alike But that's why I'm trying to change It's why I'm growing into a better person
Believe it or not Worrying too much about others is At least in part Why I've hurt so many people I try to save these broken people But I hurt them more in the end Because I was listening to their desires Without thinking about myself Without realizing what I truly feel
Trust me for once It isn't easy to live this life I am not proud of my past I am not proud of my choices But I really am trying I really am changing
I know you think it's too late But there's nothing that could change The fact that I hurt you this bad All I can do is learn from my mistakes And stop myself from hurting anyone else
Because even though I'm happier these days I still hate myself for what I've done You think I'm standing on the bones Of the lovers who I've hurt Just to get myself ahead But those skeletons live in my mind And they're not tucked nicely away in closets They're scattered in unexpected places Drowning me in endless flashbacks Burning the skin where they've touched me Their goodness destroyed by my darkness Those memories destroy me But I'm trying to get better
And since I can't change the past That's all I have to hold on to