when i first kissed you the whole universe around us ceased to exist. all i knew was you. all i felt was you, your hands running under my shirt, up my thighs, around my hips. all i tasted were your lips; all i smelled was your skin, that cheap cologne i couldn't get enough of. i didn't want it to happen this way. i didn't want to fall for someone who only loved the skin i was in. i want to shed my skin like a snake and emerge as a new person. i want to be unrecognized by you in a new beauty. i want you to be mesmerized by the new person i've become. i want another chance for you to fall for me, too. i want you to care. but i've stopped. i've stopped caring about the amount of times i go to your house, the amount of time we spend in your bed, the money on train tickets from my house to yours and back. i don't care if we're caught. i don't care if we're not. nothing matters because this doesn't matter.