i find that even when i sit down to read a book, before i begin, sometimes i’m hit with a wave of sadness, this heart-dropping feeling of loneliness, fear of the emotions i’m about to feel, the emptiness, the focus i’m putting on my own mind… allowing myself to face my own thoughts all alone as they run through my head… it’s a scary, weird feeling and i wish i didn’t feel like this... i need to stop being afraid of being left to myself, of being an individual. i need to find fulfillment in life, in things, in reading alone, in taking photos alone, in spending time alone, in going on a walk alone... in being alone. at the beginning of this year i wasn’t like this, i found happiness and made peace with myself when no one was around but it’s changed, because of /you/ it's changed, something’s shifted, and i want my old self back, i want it to shift back, can i reverse this? can i please take back my old self?...


what have you done to me???