I'm sorry
You're beautiful
And you don't see it.
And I'm sorry
That nobody treats you the greatest.
I'm sorry
That it hurts
No matter how hard you try.
And I'm sorry that I can't be there by your side.
I'm sorry that my comfort
Comes seperated by hundreds of miles
And I'm sorry that with all the effort
We can all still see through the smiles.
I'm sorry that it's hard,
Pushing yourself all alone.
I'm sorry that you're struggling
And that it feels like you're on your own.

I'm sorry that it's difficult,
Living.
I'm sorry I could never be there
To pull the blade
or the bottle
out of your hands.
And I'm sorry
that you felt like
dancing
with Death
was your only real chance
at happiness,
       or your only safety,
       or your final release....
And I'm sorry that I wasn't okay with it.
Or Im sorry if I ******* up your life
       (or your death).
But I wasn't about to just let you end it.
I'm not sorry that I spent
The end of my year
Finding someone to find you.
Getting them to help you.
And I'm not sorry if it means you made it to this year.

I'm not sorry
Especially if
this finally shows you
that someone actually cares.
And I don't care
if I value your life more than you.
I've been there.
I'm not sorry if you feel betrayed
If it means you get to see another day.

I'm sorry if I ruined your secret
And I'm sorry if they pumped your stomach or something and I'm sorry if that ****** a lot.
But I'm not sorry if it means right now you're conscious.
I'm not sorry if you get to watch the sun rise and set again.

And I'm not sorry.
If all of this
means that you live
it was more than worth it.