Eris: Favorites

Dec 2014 Eris

its not julia

please stop romancing cutting,
depression, eating disorders,
anxiety and suicidal thoughts.
those things are not beautiful.

it is not beautiful waking up
every morning wishing you
weren't here.

it is not beautiful having to wear
long sleeves in the summer to
cover up the scars on your arms.

it is not beautiful throwing up
in the toilet just so you don't
gain another pound.

it is not beautiful missing school
for a month just because you
couldn't drag yourself out of bed
to see daylight.

but you can be beautiful with
cuts and scars all over your body.

and you can be beautiful even though
you aren't too happy about your weight.

oh, and you're still beautiful if you haven't
socialized with people for a couple weeks.

and you're still beautiful even though you
blew out your 16th birthday candles wishing
you were dead.

you're beautiful, but the things that you have done to
your body aren't.

#love #cutting #sad #depression #lonely #eating #depressed #suicidal #disorders #anorexic

Dec 2014 Eris

Irrevocably, Inexorably, Infinitely.

Dec 2014 Eris

Hayleigh

Irrevocably, Inexorably, Infinitely.

When I say I want you
I don't just mean right here, right now,
I mean
I want all of you, from now until we're nearing the end of our lifeline, so we can replay and rewind the hands of time and get lost and reminisce, seal our memories with a kiss and smile in bliss.

I want you when you're smiling
And laughter is tumbling down your chin, when you bear your heart on your sleeve and cautiously invite me in. So I can carefully clasp it in my palms and disable the ringing of alarms, your concerns and qualms.
I want you when you're crying
Head in hands, fed up with the demands of day to day life, when struggles are rife. So I can get down on my knees, answer your pleas, anxieties cease, and place your hands in mine, as we unravel and unwind, the confusions in your mind.
I want you when you're insecure, when your wondering should I want more, when your unsure as to why it is that I adore, you. So I can carefully reassure that you are everything I've ever wanted and more and tell you one by one everything about you that I am grateful for.
I want you through the frustrations and accusations because we live in a nation that can be too small to accept, the love shared between our chests, because we both have *******.
I want you when you're wide awake at three in the morning, life's stresses and messes portrayed in the concern masking your smile. So I can walk each and every mile needed to reconcile your inner peace.
I want you when your fast asleep, where our bodies meet and greet each other in the most beautiful of embraces. So I can capture and appreciate the wonder of fate and the miracles it makes as the ground shakes and my heart forsakes everything it was and everything it could be, because you now own it in its entirety.

I want you in a million and one spaces, places, pauses, causes.

I want you through and through, I want you, everything you think, feel, do,
I want you irrevocably, inexorably, infinitely.
For as long as you shall have me.

First draft, will definitely revisit.

Dec 2014 Eris

Hate

Dec 2014 Eris

GailForceWinds

Hate

Hate is such a strong word
Like death
It feels so permanent
So drastic
And we use hate so freely
I hate this, I hate that
Is it really hate we feel
Or dislike
Distaste
So many other words we could use
But we choose hate
Do we love enough?
We sure do hate enough...

Dec 2014 Eris

I'm only pretty when you've been drinking

Dec 2014 Eris

Ember Evanescent

I'm only pretty when you've been drinking

It was two lipsticks and a secret ago
That a text message from you lit up my screen
But my phone goes off and I read your name
The boy who uses pretty words that he doesn't really mean

And my name is not plan B
But you're a tough craving to ignore
Don't you tell me I'm beautiful
The way you never did before

'Cause I hate the way you overuse
The same phrase every time we talk
And I hate the way you think you're something new
When you're just another cliché in the flock
I hate the way you cling to my mind
With the letters of your name you can spell what I'm thinking
But between your indecision and the masks you wear
I hate how I'm only pretty when you've been drinking

He has a f!cking girlfriend and he knows I know that and he isn't even old enough to drive a freaking car and he knows I don't like how much and often he drinks. I don't actually care, whatever he can do what he wants, but I don't want to hear about the **** he gets into. He texts me lies. He texts me spontaneously that I'm "really pretty" and I say: "Don't you have a girlfriend" and he says "Yes".
He is so f!cking unfaithful how could anyone ever trust him if that's how he treats the girl he's with sending other girls lies in the form of compliments. He tells me he's been drinking then he begs me to stay when I message him saying I have to go when really I just have to go because I can't stand him when he takes that substance and becomes exactly like everyone else who's drunk. he and his friends consume this substance so they all become variations of the same freaking person and the person they morph into when they cease to be their own actual selves is a raving lunatic. Well, that's more the **** he smokes and the ecstasy and ****. Drinking doesn't really bother me actually, but unfaithfulness does, lying does, and being a ******* does. Excessive drinking doesn't thrill me at his age, but my real problem is the drugs and the way he defiles his own and other girls' bodies the way he disrespects the beauty of sexuality, diminishing it to a pathetic cheap desire of "man" without morals.

I just freaking hate him.
I'm sick of being his second option.
I think he looks at my picture, makes out with his girlfriend or whatever who knows if she actually has a shirt on, then gets drunk, his vision blurs, sees my picture again but his distorted perception changes how my face looks and he in his intoxicated state gets confused and thinks I'm pretty then ignoring any frigging loyalty, texts me that I'm pretty WHILE he has a girlfriend and while he is even TALKING TO HER. And it is not like he was drunk-off-his-***-no-ability-to-control-himself he KNEW what he was doing and he still CHOSE to treat the girl he is with like that. And even in a sober state, he texted me saying he missed me, calls me beautiful, talented and all these other stupid lies then two hours into the conversation mentions he has a girlfriend.

I know this sounds like the cliché typical "teenaged-girl-boy-problems-crap" and I mostly is, but I just don't deal with stuff well with my "broken moods" and I still kind of want to **** myself somedays and he is not helping I mean I for sure definitely WON'T but I kind of WANT to, somedays I guess and I hate feeling like that and I hate how he adds to that. OK that got depressing fast. sorry. this is mostly just a rant you don't have to read it or anything but if you are reading these words right now you probably already read it all and can't go back and unread it to get those 3 minutes of your life back. sorry about that. anyway. if anyone had advice please comment. I'm way too dumb and naïve to deal with this without advice.

#love #fakelove #screwhim #lyingunfaithfulasshole #howcananyonevertrusthim #onlyprettywhenyouvebeendrinking

Dec 2014 Eris

Photons

Dec 2014 Eris

Scott Madden

Photons

Einstein's Relativity tells us that time slows at fast speeds,
So much so that it stops when travelling at the speed of light.
As you look up at the stars tonight think of this:
The photons that travel across the universe to your retina,
Are created in the depths of a star and destroyed within your eye,
In the same instance.

Dec 2014 Eris

"One Last Time"

Dec 2014 Eris

MaskedAngelofPain

"One Last Time"

A flash of silver,
A touch of steel.
I hold my breath as it makes me feel.

A stinging pain,
Oh, how I swore I'd never do it again.
A crimson line,
One more,
One more,
And one last time.

Pulling down the sleeves,
Smiling to please.
Feeling numb.

Wishing to hurt,
Wishing to cry,
Wishing to scream.
Why?
I'm tired of telling myself
"One last time."