Peter Gerstenmaier

Peter Gerstenmaier Mar 26

Breath

Maybe they're right…
Maybe I’m a terrible person
A narcissistic ******* with
Manipulative tendencies
And a giant ego

Breath

Could I be a wolf
Disguised in sheep’s clothing?
Or perhaps a deceptive villain
That became an expert at
Playing the good guy part?

Breath…

What if I’m no better than
My **** father and grandfather?
What if the difference between us
Is merely circumstantial?

Breath!

You know all those dreams
Are never going to happen
Right?!

Breath!!!

It doesn't have to be like this
It could all go away, you know?

Breath, breath, breath

It will go away eventually
But not like this

Breath…

Had another episode last monday... they're becoming more frequent. Happening like every other month.
This piece is not pretty, and writing this was really hard. But it's my best effort in describing the chaotic struggle of trying to push those intrusive thoughts away and getting back the control of my mind.

#depression #breath #struggle #chaos

Peter Gerstenmaier Mar 17

Unreplied letters

The weeds in our garden
Grew as fast as the pile
Of your unreplied letters

Such a sad race to behold...
REPOST. Written in sep/24.

#weeds #unreplied

Peter Gerstenmaier Mar 12

Summer

I have loved you
From the moment our eyes
Met across the crowded street
On that scorching summer day

And though summer
Soon came to a bitter end
I have loved you through
Every season ever since

And I guess I always will

#summer #bitter #love

Peter Gerstenmaier Mar 8

Freckles

I can count the
Freckles on your face
While your fingers can
Follow the pattern of the
Slashes on my back

I'm afraid you may take a while, though...

#freckles #slashes

Peter Gerstenmaier Mar 6

Scars

They say time heal all wounds
And though that may be true
For the majority of scenarios
It’s not an irrefutable fact

For our childhood scratches
May be a fleeting kind of pain
Yet there are some scars that life
Engraves deep within our soul

Like a bullet whose trajectory
Missed my heart by a few inches
But hit a far more damaging target
My very last bit of innocence

Now, when I look into the mirror
Every broken bone lost its meaning
And the echoes of who I once was
Are all that remains to be seen

This is a poem my friend Mariya wanted to have written, but couldn't do it 'cause she's too busy saving the world.
Edit. Mariya was KIA in 04/04/25. She was a true hero and will never be forgotten.

#time #wounds #scars #innocence

Peter Gerstenmaier Mar 3

Trenches

Now at the end of all things
As we're breathing sulfur and
Lead's pouring over our heads
I'm glad you're the one I'm
Sharing the trenches with

This is the first thing I'm able to write in almost a month. A little piece about my mental health struggles and how grateful I am to the ones that have my back right now.

#depression #friendship #trenches