sometimes the pain is so searing,
so blatant

that it brings me to my knees
i felt that writing become a dagger
that i kept reinserting into old scars, open scars,
an implement that i impaled myself on
repeatedly

when i tried to explain and
communicate how i felt to others
by way of prose, by way of tears,
by way of sighs, by weight of grief

i felt the wounds scar over
the dagger still resting under the surface
continuing to hurt awkwardly
as i shifted my weight from foot to foot
to walk from my kitchen to my couch

i hated the feeling of it scarring over
my tears having already been given
no longer healing the scab that had formed

what do they call these fake scabs anyway?
it's just disguising the rot below.

would it not be better if i cried in fetal position on the floor?

it all hurts anyway.

Pills rattle on cue,
Cats purr in soft solace true.
Sofa hugs my frame,
Netflix whispers, sleep reclaims—
Healing slow, the hours accrue.

through grayed streaks of white wet cumulus,
over unpretty rooftops of a metropolis,
study my windowed
winnowed airplane reflection,
imposed ‘pon a worldly-wowed perspective,

set task
before me to:
define
delist
analyze
in the very simplest terms:
the best of me,

~<>~

‘tis the littlest things,
the kindnesses,
the slight grazed touch of hand and lips,  
the recognition of thanks
genuinely tendered,
well received,
in the ilk of all these alike
minutatie

in all these, and
the summation thereof,
these gestures,
their accumulation
so mini-sized,
so great-empowering,
that they go nearly
unnoticed,
but I notice

and it makes feel holy,
nearest to my tiny embers
of godliness that within my
container,  my spark,
and nearer to thee,
and thine,
and our mutual
sparkling


nov 26 2024
@ 30,000 feet
AA #2039

If it cannot in ten words be said,
It cannot.

Airborne Muse #2: Once I wrote: (1)

if it cannot be said
in ten words, it cannot

(but now, older wiser, more intuitive)

I believe five is plentiful

11/26/24
12:27pm

Another day, another mask,
A weary soul, a fragile task.
It's been so long, I've lost the feel,
Of what is fake and what is real.