the first time I ran,
mother says,
was because I didn't
want to be held on to,

so I broke all grasps
and fled as children
do and not remember
afterwards,

why

the last time I ran
was yesterday,
cajoling myself
to alarm beeps,

like a break in habit,
slow, tired and then
in rhythm, but not like
a first time, or a last,

tedium

did joy
pass by?
the running gods
didn't reply.

I took a walk with life today
and found that we
are all connected.
I took it’s gentle hands and
whispered calmly beneath my breath:

“you are beautiful”

and then all at once-
the constant commotion
unfolding around me
came to a surrender.

I found myself staring at
solutions and all of the
questions that follow.

I am floored
by how simple
life can be.

There are no answers
and this is the
meaning to
everything.

We live and
we breathe and
we hold on until
it’s time to
let go.

This is not a cycle.

This is not
evolution.

This is not aging
just to die
and this is not
the human condition.

This is the experience.

This is the lifetime.

This is what we are
granted.

I long for a comfort
that I will never feel
and resent it
for it never being so.

I wonder how long
I have to go
and even then-

I am wrong.

There is so much
going on
and the cars keep
hauling
and the grass
keeps growing
and the moon keeps
setting and
the sun keeps
rising and

the story
goes.

I am not immortal
and I cannot capture
every moment
as I’d like to
and I know that
this is
okay
but as long
as I’m alive-

I’ll continue to strive
for something
better than
myself.

Even if it’s
not what I
deserve.

To a woman with everything,
Its a long shot,
but let the truth be,
Your gaze send storm in my heart,
Your voice puts everything to a stop,

At least that's how I feel,

And right now,
We both know,
My dreams will fade in a blink,
And you'll soon be on the wind,
And I can't stop it,

But for just one day,
What do you say!?
Be my pretty woman,
Sun to my monday morning,

Grab my shoulders,
I, grab your waist,
And lets dance our troubles away,

I'll hold you close,
You be my girl,
We'll take the dance floor all the way till dawn,

And we might be a candle in the wind,
But let's pretend we bonnie and Clyde,
And tonight you be mine,
Let your body fall in line,
And we'll both go wild,
Because pretty soon I'll so lonely I could cry,
But for tonight let you be mine!

Yea, we might be a candle in the wind,
But let me have this memory in me

Have you ever hit that point
where you want to cry
every time you think,
when you see something familiar,
when you see a picture.
When little things get to you.
When you can't hear certain phrases
without remembering everything
your trying to forget.
you have to breath
before your okay again,
but your not okay.

Your breaking inside
you can feel your heart shatter
in your chest everytime.
You remember them.
All the people you miss.
All your mistakes.
All the times you should have said
I love you.
Maybe they would have stayed.
Maybe they would have lived.

All those times you should have
fought harder.
Maybe they wouldn't have hurt you. Maybe they would have
Left you alone

If not, then don't tell me to be happy.
You don't know.

If so, then don't tell me to be happy.
You know

X

orange crush,
when we were born
sunkissed yellow rays peaked
in liquid shining brilliance
bubbling stardust
spilled down into puddles
rising in vibrance
until the world fizzed over