she laughs
so carelessly
with purple lips,
purple teeth
& a purple tongue
after drinking four glasses
of a cheap merlot
and
her eyes look
so wide and vibrant
right before she starts to tear
because she poked herself
with eyeliner,
watching her cat roll over
and then she's cursing
at the GPS on the way to
new york,
and my ribs are aching
cause she just told a machine
that she named robo-*****
to "take a ******* xanax"
after missing six left turns
in a row
and she has track marks
all down her arms
but we're older now
and i've got tons of
those plastic hospital
bracelets in a box in
my closet
but we're better now
so please forgive me
for believing the whole
entire world
is ******* poetry

It's 10:51
My Philosophy of Science class
Wasn't supposed to end until 11:15.
There is 39 minutes until Accounting.
I don't like this.
Because the cafe will be too full
It would cause a bad attack.
Because I was dumb and didn't take
My anti anxiety meds.
So I have to sit down on a bench in the hallway.
Stairs are a wreck.
My knees just shake.
I took too much of my friend's adderall
Because I never went to sleep.
And I needed to do all of these assignments
And exams
And papers
And swap tragic life stories with Becca
And I only picked at a piece of watermelon for breakfast
And now I have the shakes.
And I'm either really ******* hot
Or really ******* cold.
And I don't know which one.
So I'm just wearing a really warm sweatshirt.
Isn't this great