You dream of a future
You dream of growing up

Then you grow up
And you realize its no dream
It’s a nightmare

When you kissed me, I lied.

I let you kiss me because I wanted someone to love me.  
I was selfish, I wanted to soothe my craving for attention, soft and kind love.

It’s because you’re warm and safe, I still do get the urge to trust you with love.
In fact you’re handsome while so insecure.

But I shouldn’t have kissed you, because I knew I didn’t want you but your aroma.
I chewed it and played with it to spare your feelings and to ebb my shame

but believe me, I’m happy to have made your acquaintance on that awful day that appeared on paper as perfect.
On the day when the last one I loved, introduced me to you

it’s hard these days,
even after all these years
it’s hard
for me to sit directly
in front of a mirror
when all i see
in the reflection
of the glass’ tears
is the image
of you
replacing the body
of me

i wanted you there
i wanted you to want to be there

I was only 10 the day you took my innocence,
Unknowing of your evil intent
I trusted your sneaky smile
your deceitful words
I remember the feeling of your hands around my neck,
The way you held me down
Against my will
I tried to stop you
I was too weak
just a kid
And I cried out to you to stop,
But you didn’t.