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 Sep 2018 ochuko blaze
Your empty promises filled the room with an ear piercing silence
So quiet, you could almost hear my shattered hopes hit the floor.

“When I held you and your son, I felt like I was holding my family....”
Words you knew would draw me in even more.

Why, then, was it so easy to just give up?
I let you in completely, gave you everything.
I had nothing left from my heart to pour.

“Drums and making money” speaking of your priorities.
Words that solidified that I didn’t make the cut,
Words that shook me to my core.

Maybe I gave you too much, made it too easy.
Not enough conflict,
I guess to you, I was a bore.

I let you in and you let me go,
The lessons from this I will never forget but you know what they say,
“All is fair in love and war.”

And all is well with my broken heart.
All you have proven is that there is better out there for me,
So much for my life left in store.

So just like all the others before,
I will pick myself up and move on.
“I would love to still be friends..”
Except you don’t deserve me,
And I hope it hits you hard one day,
  Knowing you walked out my door.
Where went the time
Where we could speak our minds
And not be afraid
We'd be threatened for our lives

What's good for the goose
Is not the gander the same
How tight or loose is the noose
On which they have us hang

When you say what you want
When you speak your mind
They tell you what to do so you don't
Step out of the line

As long as your point's the same
As their point of view
You're allowed to do and say
What they want you to

Can't have you out on your own
Giving others rays of hope
When they've kept them in the dark this long
On the things that they should know

When you go completely rouge
You'll find they do not like
While trying to tarnish your halo
When speaking your own mind
I find it very disturbing the way people are attacked these days for having their own opinion... This is not going to turn out good.
 May 2018 ochuko blaze
Contain the flame within the glass
the ebb of cracks dance to its song
observe the wreath the wind will cast
to reach the peak and breadth along

I stand astride the wood canoe
amid the serenade
the glass flame freezes in shape of you
I wish to trade the light for shade
When you left, it was like my favorite library went down in monstrous flames
like my affiliate soccer club losing by a
very close margin the decisive games
it was like a great storm pouring on your first visit to the beach
yet you saved a lifetime, and journeyed a 1000 miles to get there
and you doubt you'll ever make it to the Lake side again
It was like taking a bullet close to the heart that didn't **** you instantly
it choked you, but left you to gasp for breath and deal with the pain
knowing you'll eventually succumb to the throb and the ooze
like that split second after you kick the bucket that you dread the noose
but there's no turning back, no way to survive even with a million clues
It was like being caught in the open by an unanticipated hurricane
fully aware you're either going by being blown by a giant cyclone
or freeze to a human marble before the force is come
It was like a catchy novel ending with a melancholic twist
you wish you never started reading in the first place
like, at the eleventh hour, your Dobby burning the wedding dress
leaving you an angry bride and a whole other mess
that would live after you like your shadow at dawn for the rest of your life
It was like rewatching your favorite childhood film
and realizing it wasn't as good as you always thought
and wondering why you went turning over the rocks of the past
like finding out your best friend is boyfriend to your secret crush
It was like losing a close person to a plane crush or an inferno
you receive bits and pieces, you bury the ashes
yet the hopes survive, yet nothing haunts like when such hopes are alive
you live after the belief that someday they'll fly out
oblivion like a phoenix and hug you tight if only for just one more time
it was like finding a free verse that beats all rhyme
in a collection so tattered that most of it can't be read
so you're left dying of curiosity and dread
Losing you was like saying goodbye to your friends at graduation
conscious it could be the end to a great season of your existence
but trying so hard to resist asking the obvious question
or one that wouldn't hatch answers but unfortunate tension
it was worse, it was agreeing to meet after a year and being the only one that showed up at the rendezvous
it was believing the folk stories and growing up to the realization that none of it was true
It made my childhood roses and chocolate
but what do I have now that Santa won't bring an avalanche of
breathtaking kisses to my lips on Christmas Eve?
Losing you changed me, if anything, for worse
it was like watching my soul burn when you left
like a wild fire that I doubt even time knows when it will stop
that's how big a difference you made in my life
and I don't care whether you believe me or not
after all I don't even believe I let you in that deep.
I was stupid to open all the doors and windows
and think only the rays of good intentions would sip in.
You were my everything and guess what?
when you left, there was nothing left!
Not even me...
 Nov 2017 ochuko blaze
its just the way I feel about you scares me.  

It’s love and desire It’s unwanted and it’s

obsessive It’s a mess of contradiction.
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