she was not just my perfect porcelain painting
she was my best friend and i lost most of everything
i will try to fix pain with pain
it is very effective
and i forget very easily
soon it will all be gone

you who abandoned me here
your feet will pain you before you've gone even ten steps

the present world
can pull you back in time -
sometimes a gentle pull,
sometimes a hard yank
to remind you of the past.

you take a trip
to meet your past self.
you watch her love,
grow, make mistakes -
she and you are one.

then you take a deep breath,
whispering a farewell
to your past self.
you walk through time,
returning to the present.

staying up late to feel my teeth crumble under the sugar in this wine
watching scary things on the television wondering why in the dark, I think the shadows might be out to get me.
I dont know what I think they are or why they scare me. Do they even scare me?
Left unfinished, playing in the background, the scary tv shows become my night light so i dont have to think about the shadows in the dark

Frozen in time
Overwhelmed by my mind
Lost in translation
Trapped by the grind

But you're there for me

Hazy and unresponsive
Not a part of this world
Gone... Gone...
A victim of this twisting reality

And still, you're there

Frozen... Fractured...
Unyielding torment overwhelms me
Losing myself... Losing you
Losing all I ever saw in you

And yet, you're there

Missing in action
Faded away into aeons gone by
Gone... Gone...
A victim of a maelstrom of lies

But forever, you're there