you're connected to me
by the finest of threads.
the yarn was thicker,
but time wears all things.

i wish you weren't in my life at all.
and as i write this,
i know i'm lying through my teeth.
i fill the gaps with cigarettes,
instead.

i hold the scissors;
i have been for hours, actually.
my knuckles grow white,
but i still can't
bring myself to make the
single, swift motion,
and cut all ties with you.

as my first love,
it was your duty to hold onto
my heart.
well, it's been years-
i'd like my heart back.
(i can take care of myself, now.)

Did you know
that I drink molten lava?
I like the way it burns.

I am not afraid of you.
I've let the Earth's poison
melt and destroy my insides-
re-solidifying around my heart.
You cannot hurt me.

****.
My insides are melting again.
And I cannot speak;
I can only observe-
eyes wide with horror.

I chugged you down
because you were the
only glass of water in this desert.
But your water
turned out to be acid.

And I am falling
down
        down
                down
into abysmal nothingness.

My eyes are wide with horror
because I'm watching my nightmare
take place in broad daylight.

(I'm falling for you.)