For about six years,
I haven't been able to control my emotions.
For about six years,
I've struggled to wake-up in the mornings without wanting to change who I am.
For about six years,
I have given-up every single poistive thing about me
because I am hooked.
For about six years,
I thought I was cool.
For about six years,
I thought my life was riding high on "Cloud-9"
For about six years,
I've been dependent on any chemical that will alter my mind.
For about six years,
I've struggled to look at my own reflection.
For about six years,
I've made my family cry and push me away.
For about six years,
I've watched friends come and go.
For about six years,
I've been lying to the people I love.
For about six years,
My life has been nothing but a blur.

For about six years,
I've wanted to stop.

And today
will be
that
day.

I'm reckless
Now it's as though
   I can never relax
    What can change that
    I don't have an answer
Although what rather
     Have is death
     If this keeps happening
    Reckless
             No sleep
            Because of this
        Awful disorder
  Sweat out of no where
                       Like c'mon its cool out
                      Body stay cool plz
                   Although my mind doesn't
             Know the difference cuz
                                 Of this

I would walk a thousand miles bare foot
just to sit in your company
for a half an hour in silence

As i Lay here in my spot
In  the hole of hell
With thoughts so in heavenly
I ponder....
Do you ponder what I ponder
Do appreciate the sun on your skin as much as the people that hate being all day in the sun
Toiling.....burning their skin
Just to have a spot to lay
In the hole of hell ... ?

You can give me all your secrets
I'll keep them well hid for you
I'm not here to pass any judgement
On what you did or didn't do

I've not been appointed as your judge
For all you've done in life
I have a hard enough time understanding
What all I've done in mine

I can never let it get out
I'm not who they think I am
That the life I've portrayed for so many years
Has been no more than a sham

So don't worry about your secrets
They're all safe with me
Because if all the secrets I hold spilled out
It's the real me that they might see