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Nicola M Oct 2014
I
    have
               come to
a
           point

where I care too much

or


not
             at
all

And
                      I

      don't
                kn­ow

what
          
                    scares

me







more...
  Oct 2014 Nicola M
Darby Hewitt
.
Sticks and stones may break my bones
but *** and poems express me.

-dh
  Oct 2014 Nicola M
Mirlotta
Once upon a time, in a world that looks like yours      
there was a girl with
golden hair
that hung like a banner across her back in a
a sea of sandy metal
that whispered across the air
all the untold secrets of the water and the flowers
and their petals


and when she blinked, her eyes were blue
and if you leaned too close you'd
drown in them
like the hags who tumbled down the wells
and shrieked for help
that no one cared about
because they didn't hear their voice
or see their
ebony locks trailing like abandoned sea **** after them
because they didn't fit into the space the puzzle maker had carved
and couldn't conquer the tedium of difference



and the girl was tugged by hand to go to Church
and her prayers were secret treasures
that trickled from her lips
and tasted like righteousness
each word more crystal than the last
soaked in honey at the tip
and smothered in wonder and glory
and the days as they passed


and they never mentioned the girls she teased
who wore headscarves
or bindis
that she'd printed with the colours of endless torment
in hues of cheerless and agony
and the girls never told her that
if they took them off
like she begged them to
laughter sprinkled in and stirred
they'd have to show her how much more pain
her jeering caused them



and the girl made mockeries of the unconventional
but that was okay because
everyone did
their eyes creasing up into slits of derision
in universal agreement
skidding past the true
whims of their heart and growing to
resent them


and the eccentric pressed themselves carefully
into the mould of society's
baking tray
their souls thrashing out in pain and hatred
as they compressed their emotions
and intelligence
and the beauty they found in the strangest of things
into the shell that had been vacated for them
when its previous owner had shrivelled up
and given in
and died



and all the way through life, the girl was beautiful
but she still  blew char
over her eyelashes
and stained her lips the post-box red that's found in
first kisses and
poetry and
scrawled crayoned hearts and
fading wishes


and she made fun of the red that pulsed
in the form of acne on
her classmates' faces
growing their hair out long to cover their pain
until no one could see their shame
and pouring their money into
the collection tins of mass chain stores
of cream and gloop and products
until their faces were marred by make-up
until their mothers didn't recognise them anymore
and they cried



and the girl was thinner and happier than anyone
but because it amused her
her wrists were slit
so her peers doled out their sympathy
and held battles over
who could make her smile first
and she fasted to become thinner
and she collected
four leaf clovers


and her classmates ignored the tender puckered skin
of the children that hacked at
their flesh and
tried to hide it alongside their hurt
and she cackled at the ribs
that seemed to try and burst from their flesh
like hungry mouths were trying to eat
them from the inside out
and they collected things because they feared
what would happen if they didn't
because that was OCD



and when the girl grew up, she married a boy
and he was tall and
his hair was night
and he was handsome in the conventional way that was accepted
perfect match
the paradisiacal sight of
dainty damsel clutching the arm of the
kind of man she'd read about in books
she'd been infatuated with him before they'd met


and the boys who fell in love with each other were outcast and spat on
their hearts torn into tatters and shredded in machines
by the people who thought they could decide for them
that if they didn't love girls then they'd love no one at all
because in the fairy tales they'd read as young children
they learnt that
prince = princess
and the prince never runs away with the woodcutter
because where would the princess be then?



and the girl still lives on today, in a world that looks like yours
her words a deadly poison
reaping and bleeding
crushing her prey between *******
and showing songs to the ears of the impressionable,  young or old
sowing seeds in their brains
that blossom in their hearts
and she is beautiful
and she is terrible
and she is nameless but for the title of
Society’s own child
and she is blameless
for it is the parent
at fault.
Yay, first poem!
  Oct 2014 Nicola M
Call Me Satan
Her eyes,
filled with sorrow and lies.
Her heart,
slowly falling apart.
Her smile,
its been fake for a while.
Her wrists,
carved with perfect slits.
She's depressed and alone,
her voice is a mere drone.

No one there to listen to her,
but, then again, who would even care?
Nicola M Oct 2014
I never said you looked pretty
I never said you looked nice
You never looked good
You never looked beautiful

You looked like art


And art is suppose to make you feel.
Nicola M Oct 2014
Demons


hell must be empty
the demons are all here

they live inside of the shell of me
they have been for years

kicking my stomach

tossing my heart

twisting my mind

their silence is deafening
it's worse than my scream

hell can be empty
the demons are all here

they play around in my eyes
and make me believe what i can't see
they trick me into hearing what i want
and make me need what i glimpse

they help me deceive people
hurt people
break my heart while trying to crush others
they understand
but I don't

hell should be empty
the demons are all here

they're darkness and ropes
my blades and my nooses
my tears and my blood
my powder and my pills
my guns and my ammo

hell could be empty
the demons are all here

they help me scare people
to betray them in any way
because they say "no one cares"
and i can't help but believe them

so when i say run away
get away fast
you must do what i want
or your heart won't last
i'll push you away
build concrete walls around me

so the demons can't hurt you




nor



i



can




hell is empty
the devil is right here
William Shakespears "The Tempest"
Nicola M Oct 2014
I wake in the night
by the silver moon
and nothing to repose me
except the whispers of shadows

As I bide in the silence
The grandfather clock tick-tock-ticking
I can hear but the faintest sound
of the bird on my sill

It sways in the cool night air
Its shadow burned with frost
The curtain drifts ever so gently
Enough to make me stare

Those eyes - those dark red eyes
They look and watch me through
And those feathers - black and clean as silk
Are tossed about in the night

And the raven, it stands
On its two claw legs
Spreading out its nightmare wings
and taking off into the night

— The End —