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837 · Jan 2015
Depend
Nicola M Jan 2015
I don't like
Depending on people
Because they always leave
And because at the end of the day
When everyone is gone
You just have yourself
And that has
To be
Enough.
390 · Jan 2015
From Words To Darkness
Nicola M Jan 2015
If you let yourself fall tonight
Swiftly as the rain on windows and tears on skin
When you let yourself drift tonight
A ship lost in the sea
Once you break away from the world tonight
You should remember me

If you died tonight
Would it be because you thought
That the stars would still glimmer
And appear
Or would it be because the sun
Shines brighter than you as a beauty in the sky
And as the earth is just a pebble in an everlasting ocean of sand and jewels and beings
Would be because you thought you were that significant doing?

I know who you are
I know what I am
Because we are one of the same that rose from the body of the earth to bring life to our own and to others
So if you think about cutting away both our wings so that you may know you will find peace among the blackness of the ground
I say no

You need to know that if you go down I will go down with you
We are together in the land that is ours, and our mouths are the same cut of granite, our voices are the winds that blow the ships to shore our hands are the ones that create and make life and bring more.
So why do you use your mouth to do nothing, but your voice to wrap your wings in rope and use your hands to slice away your skin to expose the red hue to drop down and dissolve your hope
And I'll tell you that the world won't be the same without you.

So why not?


I say no.



You have a mouth and I want you to tell me that the second you let that snake coil around your throat with your own two hands, and as you drown for air, you did this by yourself.

You have hands and I want you to tell me that when you cut open your precious skin to pour out the evil, use your gifted body to throw itself into the stone waters and let the liquid fill your lungs that should be grasping the outside and make your heart stop from the taste of chalky pills that slide down your tongue and into your veins.


I dare you to tell me you won't regret it for a second!


You would let yourself become swallowed by the darkness that consumed you bit by bit and the insecurities and the pain and the sadness became too much and just finally let your demons win.

You have a voice and I want to you tell me what would happen to the world around you.

But I dare you to tell me that once you leave, your everything wouldn't be affected

I dare you to tell me that your best friends wouldn't stare at the place you use to sit in class, in lunch, and in gym, quietly and sadly as they wish you would call them and tell them it's a joke, and then pain when the teacher calls out your name and no one is there to claim the title.

I dare you to tell me that when the principle announces your flight on the speaker, for all to hear, that no one will have ponds in their eyes or streams on their cheeks as they remind themselves of you.

I dare you to tell me that your lover wouldn't rummage through your stuff and take out everything that meant something to you and to them, and to not put on your favorite hoodie so they can still imagine your hands on theirs just for a moment.

I dare you to tell me how your family wouldn't care.

How your brothers and your sisters wouldn't climb into your bed and sleep in your blankets in your room in your clothes so they can try and grasp what little of you was left behind.

I dare you to tell me that your father wouldn't take every opportunity to stay late at work so he wouldn't have to come home to a house that's silent, dead, absent from your laughing and your hellos and your goodbyes and "I love you"

I dare you to tell me that your mother wouldn't lie in her bed like one would do on a spike and stare at the screen of moving pictures, wishing she wouldn't have to face the day where you are ripped from her arms and placed in a box of wood and brought into the ground.

And on the day she wishes she didn't have to see you are being taken away from her kisses and her hugs and all she can do is watch as her little baby starts dancing with angels away, and your voice the only thing she hears and her tears are the only thing she knows.

  And on that day where you are gone, I dare you to tell me that no one will cry when your face is plastered like a mocking tabloid on the front of the basket to say you are not here, you cannot be here.

And while your body lies cold and hard and dead, I dare you to tell me on how no one would hug you and kiss you and whisper your name one last time as you are carried away and dropped into the ground and covered until the sun can't warm your beautiful self.

Now tell me how much of me wishes to die, but one little piece still wishes to see what the world will become.

I now take that piece, and being it to the feet of my loved ones and I hold it out in my broken arms and lift my head and I smile and I am proud of my figure and I say -

"Look at my arms. Look at my neck. Look at my legs and the rest of my baring skin.

Look at what I did to myself because in a few precious moments I have forgotten you and ignored you and your mind and your body.

But listen to what I'm saying now. I want to say that I know what I have done and I can't take it back because I do not want to change myself.

I am myself and I hope you love me for this. I tell you this because I love you. I want you to know I love you.

With the colors from my parted skin that fall on your hips as I hug you and the words like honey and water that spill from my two lips, I know I couldn't live without you because I know you couldn't live without me. So hug me and kiss me and breathe me in and don't let me go.

I am afraid but it's okay, and I am broken but it's okay. I am bruised, and I am scarred, and I am still tormented by the demons in my head but it's okay.

It's okay because I love you."
CC would be appreciated!!
371 · Oct 2014
Demons
Nicola M Oct 2014
Demons


hell must be empty
the demons are all here

they live inside of the shell of me
they have been for years

kicking my stomach

tossing my heart

twisting my mind

their silence is deafening
it's worse than my scream

hell can be empty
the demons are all here

they play around in my eyes
and make me believe what i can't see
they trick me into hearing what i want
and make me need what i glimpse

they help me deceive people
hurt people
break my heart while trying to crush others
they understand
but I don't

hell should be empty
the demons are all here

they're darkness and ropes
my blades and my nooses
my tears and my blood
my powder and my pills
my guns and my ammo

hell could be empty
the demons are all here

they help me scare people
to betray them in any way
because they say "no one cares"
and i can't help but believe them

so when i say run away
get away fast
you must do what i want
or your heart won't last
i'll push you away
build concrete walls around me

so the demons can't hurt you




nor



i



can




hell is empty
the devil is right here
William Shakespears "The Tempest"
349 · Oct 2014
Raven
Nicola M Oct 2014
I wake in the night
by the silver moon
and nothing to repose me
except the whispers of shadows

As I bide in the silence
The grandfather clock tick-tock-ticking
I can hear but the faintest sound
of the bird on my sill

It sways in the cool night air
Its shadow burned with frost
The curtain drifts ever so gently
Enough to make me stare

Those eyes - those dark red eyes
They look and watch me through
And those feathers - black and clean as silk
Are tossed about in the night

And the raven, it stands
On its two claw legs
Spreading out its nightmare wings
and taking off into the night
285 · Oct 2014
Point
Nicola M Oct 2014
I
    have
               come to
a
           point

where I care too much

or


not
             at
all

And
                      I

      don't
                kn­ow

what
          
                    scares

me







more...
246 · Oct 2014
Turning
Nicola M Oct 2014
It started with a simple thought

That turned into the gun

And it ended with a single wish

That pulled onto the trigger
232 · Oct 2014
Power
Nicola M Oct 2014
If God is as powerful as he says
And he can do anything possible and impossible
Could He create a boulder that even he could not lift?
Then would he be as powerful as he said he was?
Or just as human as us?
195 · Oct 2014
Untitled
Nicola M Oct 2014
Each day that seems to break away
From the circle of life
That's covered in drops and crimson
Dark and scary

I always end up telling myself
"It's going to be okay tomorrow"
But even I don't know
if tomorrow will ever come

And if it does
Will it live up to me?
181 · Oct 2014
Beauty
Nicola M Oct 2014
I never said you looked pretty
I never said you looked nice
You never looked good
You never looked beautiful

You looked like art


And art is suppose to make you feel.

— The End —