The worlds is painful
The only forever person
Is you in yourself

I looked to the horizon again
But this time, right there,
was a sun rise
Brightening the hills
And god did it hurt worse,
than any I’ve ever seen before
Accepting that the future I want
The one I hope for
No longer has a part of you in it
Not even a touch

This sun rise was all me
And it hurt like hell to see

Is too much
My constant affection
Is suffocating
How I always say positive things and compliment you
Is creepy
That I like to always hug goodbye or peck your cheek on occasion, even in public
Is worthy of cringe and far too soppy
I know I’m too much
That I love too much
Feel too much
Care too much
Worry too much
That the way I love
Is too much
You tell me everyday
And it is hard
To stop feeling this way
To curb my impulses
Cut short my smiles
And care less
It is hard
To learn not to love
The way I love
But I am learning it non the less

The only thing I want from you now
Is for you to care enough
To stop me from wanting to die
It’s my last shard of hope
Despite knowing you’re long gone

It's not easy saying goodbye,
And I learned it the hard way.
Not much I remember from the days when I used to be the one,
the one saying goodbye.
But this one goodbye, I know will never leave me.
It's not mine though, it's of that one person who means a lot to me,
that one person who believes in me,
that one person who doesn't judge me,
that one person who would still be on my side whatever happens.

The days are less, yet I don't know what to feel.
"Is this really happening?', I ask myself again and again.
I don't know how I will handle it, cause this will be the first goodbye I get.
"Am I ready for it?", I ask
I have to be no matter what.
I know my tears won't stop anything, however..
I believe that those tears will help ease my pain.

Tears won't make me look weak,
they will just be small mirrors of my feelings which cannot be put into words.
And she will understand.
I can choose not to cry, but I know for a fact that won't be able to happen.
Because, she won't be there anymore after that.
All I can give her are my tears, those tears will be the only way I can let my sadness out.

She won't be happy seeing me cry, she never is.
She will still try to be cheerful, just for me.
"Why?", people may ask.
Because that is who she is, her smile is everything.
Her smile can make a bad day go away anytime.
She will be missed but who she is as a person will be missed more.
That one person who I love the most.

If I told the truth
That the only thing
That makes me stay alive
Is my fear of what it would do to other people
Were I to do what I think best
For myself
Because I see no future in my allotment
I see no way, no reason, and no why to remain
Other than that I’m terrified
Of causing even more hurt than I already have
To those whose lives are infinitely worth more than mine
And capable of more than mine
As long as I don’t ***** them up
But for me to feel better
Would be to feel nothing at all
And to do that would break some of them at least
So i’ll stay tortured and strung in between
For the sake of those
Who can never know the truth
Because truth be told
I have nothing left in my life but death