i did the best i could,
for who i was,
at the time.

Absquatulate,
           flee to the unknown,
where I can be an organism
            of concinnity,
deipnosophist I will,
            dine with Plato on an herb
deracinate me,
             become a dance or song
with effable eternity
flatline...

to infinity,
or possibly....

continue to hunt and peck.

I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you *deny the truth
I never really loved you
I only ever felt affection
For all the abuse
That I knew I deserved
You may think it absurd
But how could I possibly
Love someone else
When I have yet to learn
How to love myself?
Or even live with myself?

Show a smile based on a lie,
Or a frown based on the truth,
Which would you prefer?
I'd like to smile
Once in a while
But I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch the truth die
In the soulless eyes
I see in my mirror
That girl whispers to me
But I cannot hear her
So she fades away
Silently

Yet, I know
This cannot be my destiny
Lies of smiles
Truths of frowns
It's bringing me down
I could think of a million lies
But only six eyes
To help me smile
More than just
Once in awhile
I cannot tell a lie
And I will not lie back
To watch you steal my smiles
My truths
My everything

I will stare in your eyes
While you spout all your lies
And watch you crumble
And Fall
While I smile
Standing tall
Staring down at your frown
Wishing you knew the truth
That I cannot tell a lie
And **I never really loved you

If you accidentally
             fall out of love,
Do you just dive
                back in head first?
           Feet first??
                     Eyes closed???
        Cannon ball????
             Or
Do you walk away
       Cause you can't swim
And you're scared to death
                   of *drowning?????

Through every night is bright star to guide you, and through every tear there is someone to hold you.
When the lights are out, but your vision is never gone... That my dear is seeing the world as a better place.