This
         *contained
                            energy
   Will be the
******* end of me
                      
     In my symphonic body I paint a note too hard to reach
     Still I speak as though im at the peak
    Staring down at fallen leaves

     Acknowledging to myself if I was to actually leap,
       I would already be on the ground

   No sound comes around as I scream from my mouth
           Temptation to change perceptions of me are too big to ignore
           They beget more of their own kind than before
       And now im staring up at that note from my bedroom floor
If I could reach it
       In the right key it might open a door
And let in fresh air to sink into my pores
  
This
         Contained
                              Energy
Could be the end of me
But I promise I wont let it
      I will strive to fly higher until I finally have spent it

The numbers 8716 keep circling my head
But I don't know what they mean
Are they the last four of a phone number?
A password?
A grave site?

Madness is circling, slowly descending

The voices are growing louder with each passing day
But I still can't understand what they are saying
What do they want?
What do they need?
Will I ever understand them?

Madness is circling, slowly descending

Deadlines looming, losing concentration
There is never enough time!
Will I finish with time to go through it?
Will I get it to her on time?
Will it be good enough?

Madness is circling, slowly descending

The children have started to give me wide-berth
I think they know it is only a matter of time
Will they take heed?
Will they ever understand?
Or will they push until there is nothing more of me?

Madness is circling, slowly descending

It's finally dark outside
Or maybe it's just dark within my head
Is it finished?
Is it time to rest?
Or do I need to push myself further still?

Madness is circling, slowly descending

Life has lost all meaning
I have lost my definition
Have I become nothing more than an echo of what I once was?
Will I remain in this place for the rest of time?
Who can answer these questions?

Madness has circled, finally descended

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

I wish I wasn't so upset by a lack of music in my ears,
I feel so alone when no one's there to dry my tears.
I'm wasting time trying to figure out what I feel,
Instead of realizing all the things I have that are real.
I've skipped all the good and jumped to the bad,
I'm a worst-case-scenario thinker that's always sad.
Questioning intentions and arguing compliments
Instead of worshipping myself and my accomplishments.
Tell me why I should have the right to complain,
Besides the fact that I'm burning alive in pain,
A mental pain that exists due to a chemical imbalance
Kind of ironic that a libra would encounter that challenge.
But nevertheless, here I am wanting to scream,
Asking God why I can't have what I dream.
Not sure why I feel so empty when I'm alone,
but when people are near, I turn hard as stone.
I'm a catch 22, a ******* hypocrite, too.
Being a happy person is hard work when you're naturally blue.
Fighting the same battles, years after years,
An internal struggle to justify all these **** tears.
But when the music is gone, it all comes to the surface,
I am an endless cliche of a girl with no purpose.

Looking up in the mirror,
my cheeks look lyk a fresh red plum in shy,
as i see myself through d eyes of urs,

In the troops of million,
i finally saw u,
whn our eyes met,
the whole world bcme still,
evn the sky seemed to be shinning in our love,

Holding the hand,of each other,
seemed we were in the garden of heaven,
lyk prince n princess,walking in garden  laid wid roses & angels showering the rain of roses,
everyone was rejocying in our love,

But u had to go,
everythng vanished ,only tears were left,
sky agn turned grey,
u left me in a hope ,
u will come agn forevr,


I m waiting for the last winter agn..........

Life is passing by
Same as before
Same everyday schedule
Running from day to night

But something has changed
That is killing me from inside
Nights are going sleepless
My eyes are wet
All i feel is loneliness

In the crowd of my life
I m standing still
All i feel is the emptiness
Dont know what is happening??

My life is just entering through one room of darkness to another
All i want is to cry out loud &
Lessen the pain
To deprive this feeling

As i was viewing the channel,
my eyes suddenly turned blank
i found myself in a deserted place
all i felt the place was haunted


As i looked around,
i found a crow sitting on a tree
i wondered where i was

As i was walking by,
to found out my way
i sensed something following me
i was so afraid even to turn back&
i kept on moving

Suddenly i felt my back was touch by someone,
but this time i took a dare to turn back
and to my wonder i saw a wolf
it roared at me,

Again another sound,
forced me to look around
and all i saw the two handsome vampires
"The salvatore brothers"

My eyes became still
My breath was hold
My body turned cold
i became pause
and i wonder are the wolf
"Klaus or tyler"

All i could see,
the vampires & wolfs fights
vampires protecting me from their fights

My dream to meet vampires,
My imagination
My hope
all was coming out to be real

Only my wish to became vampire was to be fulfilled,
i asked them to turned me up into a vampire,
i imagined myself being a vampire
my hot look
my vampire  teeth
my craving for blood
my fights with the wolf
all i could see my dreams in reality


But suddenly i was hit from bck "ouch"
and to my wonder it was my dad
everything vanished,no one was out there
it was just a dream ??
my wish only remained a wish


"Wish i could be vampire"

I reject  God as he dances around
In his heavens in his expansive freedom
While the neglected human spirit
Remain chained to the confines
Of this world
While he sits back
Overlooks
With a neglectful apathy

All Gods drop away in my mind
As I turn my back on the Lord
I bow to the power of human spirit

Engulfed and surrounded
By the darkness of their mortality
I still see the defiance in their stair
Engulfed by a face of fear
Eyes shine bright like two
Sparkling stars in the dead of night  
Saying NO NO NO
To the darkness

TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED
Deep down in their darkness
Buried under under under
FAR FAR FAR
From any heaven above
As they feel no God down here
BLACK BLACK BLACK
Pitch blackness , Coal
Crushes with an engulfing fear
From every side
Birth presses from below
And death presses from above
Compressed into an inescapable
       DARKNESS!!!

But the human spirit
Relentlessly fights back
Abandoned by God
It defiantly pushes back
At the darkness deemed to
Destroy it
Atoms of the soul
Unify themselves into
Perfect alignment
As they become an
Impenetrable army
That stands firm and says
No to the darkness
YOU SHALL NOT PASS

Crystallized under great
Pressure the soul
Becomes the perfect diamond
As nothing is stronger , harder
Greater than the human spirit